


Love is Confusing and Life is Hard

by kiwisaurus121



Series: Love is Confusing and Life is Hard [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bert and Reiner make a guest appearance eventually I promise, I abuse commas and run on sentences I'm sorry, I also switch which character is the focus of the narration frequently I have no excuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2128689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwisaurus121/pseuds/kiwisaurus121
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean wakes up to find a stranger on his couch. He's still not sure why he didn't call the police, but at least he gets a kitten out of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: This Isn't the End

Jean Kirstein would never, in a million years, define himself as a morning person. Mornings back home had been filled with slamming doors, shouts that he was _going to be late to school again,_ and all sorts of ridiculous nonsense. Now that he had an apartment to himself, Jean liked to wait for the sun’s harsh glare in his eyes before he’d roll out of bed, make himself a nice cup of coffee and omelette, and then sit down on his couch to watch some nice and calming morning cartoons. Unfortunately, today his routine found itself with a wrench in the plans. It was not, as had happened a couple times, that there were no good cartoons playing (causing him to watch the news and become depressed) but rather that his couch was already occupied.

By a stranger.

In future years, Jean Kirstein would swear to anyone who would listen that he had not made any sort of undignified noises, but had rather calmly gone to the kitchen to find something suitably threatening before he awoke the stranger in a mannerly fashion. The fact remains, however, that the man on the couch woke up to _something_ shrieking loudly, the crashing sound of a coffee mug breaking, and the sight of a tall man brandishing a butter knife and fork while cradling an omelette to his chest.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?” Jean said, with what he thought was admirable restraint.

“WHO THE HELL ARE _YOU_?” The other man shouted back.

Jean stared at him, trying to remember if there was anyone with dark floppy hair that he’d willingly let into his apartment, drunk or sober, and only coming up with Marco, who this man was most certainly not.

“You’re the one on my couch,” Jean glared possessively at said item, causing the other man’s gaze to turn there as well, whereupon his brow crinkled before a charming grin sprung onto his face.

“Eren Jaeger,” he said, holding his hand out as if asking for a handshake was a realistic next step in this scenario, “and you are… not Armin.”

Jean blinked at this, “Wha- who- why- did you say Armin?”

Eren nodded earnestly, his hand still out consiliatorily, “Yeah, short dude, blond, has his nose stuck in a book half the time, lives somewhere in this apartment complex but obviously not through the particular window I crawled through last night. Sorry.”

Jean just stared.

“What, are you not going to accept my apology?” Eren grin turned to a glare, and he awkardly ran his hand through his hair before returning it to his side. Unfortunately, the end result was reminiscent of an irritated guinea pig.

“YOU BROKE INTO MY APARTMENT!”

“I said it was an accident!”

Jean double checked that his own glare was still in place, before slamming his omelette down onto the coffee table, storming over to his front door, and opening it meaningfully.

The stranger on the couch- Eren- huffed, grabbed his shoes from where he’d set them beside the couch, and marched out through the door in his socks, not breaking stride even for the slam resounding behind him. Jean stared at the coffee stain on his rug, and swore that he was going to lock his balcony doors every night from then on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness, um, I honestly just want to thank literally everyone who encouraged me in the making of this fic. Camille for reading this and telling me it was good, Anaahat for doing the same thing in the beginning, my parents for reminding me to work on my fanfic even though I'm never going to let them read it, a bunch of other people I'll thank as the story progresses to the point where it won't have any spoilers.


	2. Up All Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which various people talk to various other people.

Jean did what he could to put the incident out of his mind. He was, of course, going to have to speak with Armin next time they ran into each other at the mailboxes, and ask him if he needed any help getting rid of toxic and overbearing friends. Or maybe if he knew how to file a restraining order, or just needed anything in general, but overall he felt like he was taking things in stride very well.

He decided that if Marco was going to ignore his calls ( _rude_ \- he’d only called him eight times that day, and frankly, given how infuriating the whole situation was, that was remarkable self-restraint on his part. Anyway, it's not like they'd gone to bed any earlier than 3 most nights in college, so Marco could _totally_ be awake right now to talk him through his troubles, even if it _was_  now 2 AM) he was going to smoke a cigarette. His friends wouldn’t even have any right to harass him about killing his lungs since they’d driven him to this themselves (Sasha and Connie had stopped picking up his calls _three days ago_. What if he had had an emergency?! How would they feel if he was dying in a hospital bed _right now_ and they didn’t know because they had cut off contact? Jean didn’t think there were enough potato chips in the world to make up for the guilt of missing your friend's last moments, simply because you were too selfish to give your time and attention to him. His two voicemails to this effect had yet to kick in, but he hoped the one where he had threatened to stop having cooking competitions with them would have more effect). It was as he struggled to light his lighter (cold weather did not make for nimble fingers) that he heard a _thump_ behind him.

Once again, Jean Kirstein held his cool, and most certainly did _not_ shriek, but rather turned around calmly. Without any jumping involved, or dropping of his cigarette, or anything like that. It's not like there were owls or any shit in the tree that could fact check him, so that’s the story he was sticking to.

The man who had caused the _thump_ might tell a different story, but Jean was too pissed to care about that.

“Why are you on Armin’s balcony?” Eren asked.

“This is _my_ balcony, you asswipe!” Jean hissed viciously, restraining from grabbing the other man and slamming him on the railing, shouting, and punching him, only because his neighbors were probably asleep. Eren had no such compunctions.

“Wow, you don’t need to be that rude about it. It’s not like I meant to end up on your balcony! It’s dark out and jumping from a tree onto concrete isn’t as easy as I make it look!” the chastising effect of his words was ruined when the next second he muttered under his breath, "Jerk."

Jean side-eyed the oak that was next to his balcony, and wondered if he could convince his landlord to chop it down. Probably not.

“Oh, you think you make it look easy? Obviously it isn’t for someone as incompetent as you, given how you keep fucking up! Armin is the next balcony over,” he gestured to the concrete slab one over from his. They were, admittedly, both bare of any embellishments, and indistinguishable until one looked into one of the windows, but Jean wasn’t going to concede anything to the person who was ruining his life.

Eren stared at his intended destination, “I guess I could get a running start?” he backed up to the far edge of Jean’s balcony and knelt down in a running position, surging up only to be blocked by the arm suddenly in his way.

“Don’t you _dare_ leap off my balcony and die, you complete idiot!” Jean was fuming.

Eren just shrugged, “Fine, then give me a cancer stick, asshole.”

“What? No! I’m not giving anything to you, you oblivious, self-centered, idiotic… just get off my balcony!”

“You just stopped me from my only way out!” Eren surveyed the 20 foot drop to the sidewalk below, and the 6 feet between where Jean’s balcony ended and the next one began, and frowned, “Besides, I’ve already broken too many bones this year. Mikasa might kill me if I end up in the hospital again.”

Jean was flabbergasted, but Eren just leaned over and grabbed the cigarette lying on the ground. As he stood back up, the moon came back out from behind the cloud, and illuminated his figure.

Jean’s heartbeat remained completely steady as he returned to his apartment, his vindictive stress-reliever ruined, and locked the glass door behind him. He wasn’t even sure Eren Jaeger was a real person anymore, but he supposed whether or not the man was still there in the morning would be a good indication.

* * *

Eren was cold, tired, and cranky. It had taken repeated reminders to himself that he was technically trespassing, that if the cops did get called Mikasa would probably wait to post bail just to teach him a lesson, and that Armin probably didn’t want Eren pissing off his neighbors, and thus causing him to get kicked out of another housing situation (It totally wasn’t Eren’s fault that Armin’s last apartment complex had been filled with assholes with chips on their shoulders. Really, Armin shouldn’t have been living there in the first place), and many calming breaths to refrain from just clocking the other guy for being rude. His therapist’s voice had been ringing in his ears, “Have you tried making friends instead of enemies, Eren?” as he had tried to initiate a “bonding activity” with the dishwater blond… whose name he still didn’t know. Fuck.

Eren didn’t really need more friends, anyway, he guessed. Speaking of, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and cursed at the blinking battery sign, before sighing and punching the buttons. He was tired of freezing his balls off on a self-centered jerk’s minimal excuse for a balcony.

* * *

 Jean had barely relaxed his jaw enough to even contemplate getting to sleep when he heard a knock on his door. He sighed, grabbed a bathrobe, and went to go see who was in such a hurry to speak to him. He hoped it was his friends with apology cookies. Or maybe the police with a warrant for the suspicious character someone had spotted on his balcony?

It wasn’t. Instead it was his very tired looking neighbor.

“Armin?” Jean kept whatever frustration he could out of his voice.

“Sorry Jean, I heard you had a pest problem?”

“What?” Jean tried to figure out what the other man was talking about, something niggling in the back of his mind that he’d been meaning to talk to the other man about… oh, “Do you mean the infuriating presence on my balcony?”

“That would be the one,” Armin offered a weak smile, “I’ve come to pick him up.”

“Armin, I’ve been meaning to tell you that if you ever need any help breaking off any friendships I’m here for you,” oops, that had come out sounding weirder than he’d intended, “I just mean… You’ve helped me out a couple of times and I really enjoy seeing you around and if you ever need anything I’m… well, around.”

Armin’s smile had edged into something more real, and he almost laughed, “Oh, no, thanks Jean but I’m good. Eren isn’t really a bother. I mean, he is, but he would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone. I mean, unless they hurt him. Or his friends. Or a stranger, or- okay, I guess he’s not really harmless but he means well?” Armin scrunched up his nose, “At least, we’ve stuck together this long so might as well just keep at it!”

Jean had vague recollections of Armin saying something similar about a childhood friend during one of their baking parties. He gave up trying to piece together the story, set aside the pang in his heart asking if he’d ever inspired such loyalty in anyone, and decided to just let Armin come in and take away Eren so he could finally get a good night’s rest. He certainly needed one at this point.

Armin seemed to get the point of Jean's scooting out of the doorway, and walked through the apartment to where Eren could be seen slumped against the other side of the balcony door.

Jean wandered after him, wondering if he should feel bad for his nosiness, before dismissing it as fine since it was his own home.

“Eren, what are you doing?” Armin said as he slid open the door, sounding remarkably unsurprised.

“Armin!” Eren leapt up, rather like a puppy dog in Jean’s opinion, and clung to his friend, “You came to rescue me!”

“Eren,” Armin’s voice was filled with warning, and the least cheerful Jean had ever heard it.

“Oh, right,” Eren coughed, and released his hold, “I was visiting you, but I didn’t want to wake you by knocking on your door, and…” Eren trailed off as he seemed to realize that his friend was awake now anyway, “Well, your neighbor’s an asshole anyway.”

Armin just squeezed his nose and sighed, “Eren, I will get you a spare key. That still doesn’t answer the question of why you’re here in the first place, though.”

Eren actually winced, looking… meek? “Mikasa was trying to have sibling bonding time again. With _rom-coms_.”

Armin sighed, the tension bleeding from his shoulders before he pat his friend’s arm consolingly, “I would probably end up on Jean’s balcony in that scenario too. Come on, idiot, let’s get you to bed.”

Eren grinned, and Jean’s heart only sped up because he was mad that Eren had gotten off the hook so quickly. Yes, that was it.

Armin dragged his friend out of the apartment, and Jean watched them go, wondering if this was really the last time he’d see the weird… the last time he’d see Eren. That would be a relief.

As the two friends went back to Armin’s apartment, Jean most certainly did not strain his ears to listen to their conversation, and if he heard, “What did you call him? Jean?” right before the door shut, he most certainly did not smile.

* * *

Armin sat on top of his counter, and stared down at his friend. Alright, so even with the added height of the counter he was only at eye level, but still. He stared down his friend, at the very least.

“Eren,” he said, trying to sound serious but with the sneaking suspicion it just came out sort of tired instead. To be fair, it was the middle of the night.

“Yes, Armin,” crap, Eren was putting on his innocent angel act again. Luckily, that’d stopped working on Armin when they were 12. Watching Eren plead innocent to getting revenge on the boys who’d picked on Armin by filling their lockers with ants had taught Armin a lot about the world. Like that sometimes people in positions of power didn’t actually sniff out the truth, and couldn’t always be trusted, and that Eren was a good friend to have on his side.

“Why are you really here?”

“Can’t a man want to visit his best bro for no reason?” the innocent mask was slipping, and Armin could see all the cracks. It made him feel more sad than successful, though.

“Not at…” Armin checked the clock on his stove, “3:30 AM. Seriously, Eren, what’s going on? Is it stuff with your dad again? Or your-”

Eren cut him off before he could finish that sentiment, “No, look, there’s nothing, really.”

“Eren.”

“I mean… It’s just… look, if I tell you Mikasa is going to kill me,” Eren shrunk back into his shoulders.

“I can keep a secret,” Armin said, continuing to stare Eren down.

“Promise?” Eren waited for Armin to accept his pinky swear before continuing, “You’ve really got to act surprised when she tells you herself, though.”

Armin shrugged, “Alright.”

“Well, she’s graduating next month, right? But she’s not just going to stick around here and join the police department or whatever. She’s moving to D.C. Apparently she got some sort of job offer over there? And it’s like… I know I should be spending whatever time with her I can before she leaves, but… and don’t you dare breathe a word of this to anyone, Armin, because I know where you sleep, but whenever I think about her leaving I just start panicking and I’ve gotta get out of there,” Eren’s voice had raised past what was usually acceptable for the middle of the night, so he took a deep breath to calm himself.

“Oh Eren…” Armin said, sighing, before pausing to think for a moment, “Would you rather have dark hot chocolate or white hot chocolate?”

Eren blinked, and grinned at his oldest friend, “Dark hot chocolate. Does that mean you’re going to stay up with me? Can we play Zombie Hunters again?”

The blond hopped off of the counter and started rummaging in his cabinets for the supplies he needed, before turning to look at his expectant friend, “Well? You know where the TV is. We’re also going to have to talk about your preferred method of getting into my apartment though.”

Torn between sighing that Armin hadn’t forgotten that detail, and whooping because Zombie Hunter was the greatest video game ever, Eren settled for just heading into the living room to turn on the television. Mikasa would still be leaving, but at least he didn’t have to think about it tonight.

* * *

Eren Jaeger would like the record to state that he wasn’t a stalker. Isn’t a stalker. Never will be a stalker. While his repeated night time visits to… what was Armin’s neighbor’s name again? John? Anyway, while those had been unfortunate, in reality they were complete accidents, and now that Armin had given him his own key (for the… third time. The events that took place the first two times Eren was trusted with a key are, unfortunately, impossible to discuss as no one will speak of them ever again), Eren did not foresee any more accidental creeping upon the man.

Which is why he had literally no reason to feel guilty about standing behind the aforementioned neighbor in the Starbucks’ line. It was complete coincidence! Eren had just never actually gotten to sleep last night, as Armin wouldn’t stop nagging him about his unintentional breaking and entering, and so his usual ban on coffee (again, the caffeine incidents of the past were on a strictly non-disclosable basis) was lifted. In fact, it was the man before him’s own fault that Eren had to get coffee in the first place, so if he happened to turn around and freak out again that Eren was there, he had no reason to look suspicious.

Or so he repeated to himself, up until he had almost reached the counter, and overheard Jean’s order.

“You’re getting a _Vanilla Bean Frappuccino_?!?! Wow, and I thought you couldn’t get any more douche-y,” Eren exploded before he could help himself, and decided to blame his sleep deprivation before a flush could make its way onto his cheeks.

Jean tuned around looking shocked, before his eyes narrowed and he hissed, “At least I’m not the sort of asshole who follows people to coffee shops just to insult their orders!”

Eren spluttered, and Jean turned back around to pay for his order, before stalking off to go wait for it.

Eren approached the barista who was giving him an incredibly dubious look. Eren winced, and made his own order, “Ummm… one small black coffee please.”

Her unimpressed stare continued even after he had handed her his money and approached the waiting counter himself.

He spent approximately 1.73 seconds standing awkwardly in the space beside Jean before engaging in confrontation again.

“I didn’t follow you to the coffee-shop, idiot. This just happens to be the closest location with caffeine to Armin’s place,” Eren Jaeger would _really_  like for the record to state that he wasn’t a stalker, he just knew where to find supplies in case of emergencies.

Jean was saved from answering by the tinkling of the door opening, and the subsequent hush that seemed to settle over the coffee shop. Both boys turned to see what the fuss was about, and Eren backed into the counter. “Shiiiiit,” he breathed, and desperately looked behind himself for an escape route.

“Shit,” Jean seemed to agree, staring at the door with eyes wider than he knew they could open.

Eren vaguely registered Jean freaking out beside him, but he didn’t really have the mental capacity to process the words, “Ohmygod she’s so beautiful hoooooly shit look at her hair, her hair!!!!” because he was pretty sure he was going to die in the next 5 minutes. 3 minutes. Maybe even in the next minute, because his beloved sister had just approached where he was standing. There might have been a thump of Jean’s jaw hitting the floor or something, but Eren really didn’t care at the moment.

“Hi Mikasa,” he tried to remember his earlier resolution to not look guilty, and was pretty sure he was failing spectacularly. Maybe deflection would work? “Armin totally told me it was okay to get coffee, by the way, so if anyone should be in trouble for me being here it’s totally him.”

“I know,” Mikasa replied, face blanker than Eren had seen it in years, “Actually I know a lot of things. Armin called me after you left.”

“Oh,” Eren actually physically drooped. If Jean wasn’t busy being horribly jealous and upset, he would probably have been impressed.

“Vanilla Bean Frappuccino and a tall black coffee,” a bored voice announced as the drinks became deposited on the counter. Jean took his frappuccino almost vengefully, staring at Eren as if asking him to comment. Eren, however, was still staring at Mikasa like a deer in the headlights. Whatever. It wasn’t really Jean’s business that she was beautiful enough that she could actually be emitting light, so he just left. Calmly. Collectedly. Connie’s later claims that Jean called him almost immediately and was an angsty mess should all be ignored because Connie is an awful friend and a liar. If Jean was upset at all it was because Connie had been ignoring his calls for days. Yes, that was it.

Eren, on the other hand, had to have Mikasa collect his coffee, handing it off to him before walking out of the store, posture stiff and sure, as Eren followed weakly.

* * *

Eren stayed silent the entire way to the park. While this would normally be considered a feat in and of itself, given the coffee he was slowly (okay, quickly) decimating during their walk, it was nothing short of a motherfucking miracle.

By the time they reached an empty bench, he was a veritable ball of energy, and was still uncertain if the inevitable explosion was going to be good or bad.

“Look, Mikasa, I wasn’t really lying when I skipped out on you last night.”

“So there really was an emergency?” Eren was usually suspicious of people who claimed Mikasa’s poker face was impenetrable. He’d known her since they were 9, and after so many years was usually excellent at reading her. Now, however, she was a blanker slate than even the first week after she’d come to live with them. Or even the week after… Anyway, the point was, she was currently impossible to read and that scared him more than the thought of an angry gorilla with a chainsaw. Actually, that thought was more hilarious than terrifying, and  _why couldn’t his brain focus that was not the issue here_.

“Okay, not exactly, but I feel like Armin’s been really lonely lately! And you know him, he’d never really mention it to anyone, it’s just a feeling I’ve been getting. So while it wasn’t really an emergency in the typical sense, it was a bromergency?” Eren was rambling. He knew he was rambling. Crap, and her face was still completely impassive.

“Are you sure Armin’s the lonely one?”

“What? Yeah! Of course! Who else could I possibly be talking abou…” Eren trailed off as her face started to twitch, “He told you everything, didn’t he.”

“Eren,” Mikasa sighed and tugged at her sleeves, “I’m not mad at you for telling Armin I’m moving. I should have done it weeks ago, really. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me you’re freaking out.”

“I just-” Eren started, and stopped, not knowing how to end that sentence. He put the now empty coffee cup down, before picking it up again to fiddle with.

“Eren, you’re not the only one freaking out about this, you know.”

He stared at her incredulously, but her mask was beginning to break a little more, and he could see that she really meant what she said. Her scarf was pulled up a little more over her face than usual, and she was actually playing with the tassles, and…

“But you’re the one who decided to go!” he blurted before he realized it.

She smiled a little sadly, “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to miss you, and Armin, and Annie, and all my other friends, and even Grisha. Look, Eren, it’s an amazing opportunity, and I didn’t think you’d forgive me if I passed it up.”

Eren thought back to when she’d turned down Harvard to go to state school with him, and winced, “I don’t want to hold you back, Mikasa,” he said quietly, “but… D.C.? That’s really far away.”

“I know you don’t. But it’s not like I’ll be there forever,” she stared at the ground, “I love you, Eren, and I want nothing more in the world than to stick around and protect you. But I think we’ve gotten complacent,” she glanced over at him before continuing, “I just want you to be happy. I promised… I promised your mom,” she ignored his intake of breath, “I promised her that I’d take care of you. But you’re an adult now. I’m an adult now. At some point I’ve got to let you fight some of your own battles.”

“I already know how to fight my own battles!” Eren wasn’t sure how offended he felt by these allegations.

“Eren, you saved me once and it felt like a new chance. I’ve spent my whole life trying to pay you back, and I guess I’ve finally realized that’s not going to help you grow,” Mikasa staunchly refused to admit there was a tear welling up in her eye, “I will always be here to help you if you need me. Always. If you ever need anything ever I expect you to call me, I just… I have to learn to trust you to take care of yourself. And the only way I can actually do that is if I leave.”

When Mikasa got the courage to look over at her brother again, she saw him nodding, and not even trying to hide his tears. She smiled weakly again before wiping her own away with the scarf she’d always treasured.

“I just… I don’t want you to leave me, I guess,” Eren looked back at her, before smiling and sitting up straighter, “But I suppose if this is what it takes to get you off my back I’ll take it.”

Mikasa snorted, “I’m still going to call you every week, you know.”

Eren rolled his eyes, “I’ll try and make time in my busy schedule for you then,” she shoved him with her shoulder and didn’t budge away, “Hey, do you still have any of those rom-coms you were trying to make me watch last night? I don’t think I’m currently sensing any emergencies.”

Mikasa leaned in against him a little more, “Nah, all I have left are crappy action movies.”

“Alright!” Eren punched the air, “Let’s go back home then.”

“Home,” Mikasa smiled, and stood up, “Alright.”

The two made their way back out of the park, and this time their journey wasn’t as silent.

* * *

Jean finished locking up his bike and stood up, sighing at the sight of the Trost In Us Diner. On the one hand, they served the best milkshakes in town. On the other… literally all of his friends were inside. Questioning his sanity, he opened the door, and if he smiled at the familiar sound of the jukebox, well, no one else knew about it.

“Hey there, partner!” one of Jean’s oldest friends zoomed towards him on roller skates, and he marveled again how any of them had survived to adulthood.

“Sasha,” he greeted, trying to maintain a chilly vermeer towards the girl, “So good to hear your voice again.”

“You know, it’s crazy,” she said, ignoring his furrowed brow and decidedly unhappy tone, “But I could swear I heard your voice just the other day! It’s almost like you left me 16 voicemails or something!”

“Oh shut up,” he grumbled, trying to push past her to enter the room proper, only to get sucked into an impromptu hug.

“I missed you too, dumbass. I really would have picked up some of those calls if I wasn’t so busy here at the diner. Also, if you were doing something besides whining about some intruder or something? Honestly I stopped listening,” Sasha finally released him from her iron-strong hug.

“Why do I hang out with you again?”

“Because I give you free pies.”

“The pies are from Marco, potato-brain.”

“That’s it, I’m revoking your pie privilege,” with one last hair ruffle Sasha skated back off, leaving Jean to approach the counter.

“Jean,” the brunette behind the counter nodded at him, before turning to take the order of the man sat a little ways down.

“Love you too, Ymir!” Jean projected in her general direction, before a blonde head was suddenly blocking his view.

“Jean! I haven’t seen you in forever! Marco said something about a break-in? Are you okay? Oh geez, sorry, I started rambling again and didn’t let you answer at all,” she stopped for what Jean presumed was a breath break before continuing, “But seriously, are you alright? Did you have to call the police? Why haven’t you been in here! You missed Marco’s new pie flavor. Do you want a milkshake again? Fries? Anything at all?”

“Krista, I appreciate the concern, but I promise I’m alright,” Jean reached over the counter to grab her hand before she could knock over the salt shaker, “and it really wasn’t as big a deal as Marco made it out to be.”

“From the number of voicemails you left me you _totally_ made it out to be a big deal yourself,” Sasha interrupted the conversation, “Anyway, Krista, now that you’re out of the kitchen, have you had a chance to try my new burger? I know it’s not as traditional as you want the diner to be, but I tried really hard to get the perfect flavor combo.”

“Oh! Yes! The spicy egg burger, right?” Sasha nodded, “I loved it! I think we should start it as a seasonal special to see how people respond, but if it does well I don’t see any reason not to keep it!”

“Oh man, thank you so much, I love youuuuu!” Sasha punched the air, looking incredibly relieved.

“Are you hitting on my girlfriend?” Ymir came back to level Sasha with a stare, causing her to squeak and Krista to start laughing,

“What? No! I was just asking about my new burger and how it was doing oh my god please don’t kill me,” Sasha tried to avoid Ymir’s stare before giving up, shoving Krista for being such a terrible friend, and going back to wait on more tables.

“Honestly, Ymir, she wasn’t doing anything like that,” Krista finally managed to complete the sentence in between snorts and giggles.

“I dunno, Historia, she looked pretty suspicious to me,” Ymir smirked down at the shorter woman, “Plus, you know my day isn’t made until Connie and Sasha’s panicked faces appear.”

“Oh stop it,” Krista hip bumped Ymir, “You’re going to get rid of some of our best workers.”

“I think you mean our only workers,” Ymir replied, “I mean, besides…”

“Oh my god, you forgot everyone else’s names again?” Krista snorted, “Besides, I also have _you_  working for me. Speaking of, I don’t pay you to stand around and gossip, that’s my job,” Ymir just rolled her eyes and headed into the kitchen, as Krista turned back to Jean, “So really, what’s been going on with you?”

“It’s not…” Jean became uncomfortable under the caring scrutiny of his friend, “Look, one of my neighbor’s friends accidentally visited my house in the middle of the night instead of his. He was probably drunk or something. I don’t really know, it was just kind of surprising to wake up to _someone on my couch_.”

“Are you sure it was an honest mistake? Did you at least call the police for backup?” Krista knotted a napkin up in her hands as she stared at him, and Jean worried about what she might be thinking of as he noticed it beginning to rip.

“Look, it happened again last night and my neighbor came by to pick him up. I think he’s just an honest asshole,” Jean remembered why he hadn’t bombarded her phone with calls, she was the most likely to worry out of their friend group, and also the most terrifying, “I just called Connie and Sasha a lot because they’re also assholes and I wanted to carry it forward.”

Krista smiled at that, but her eyes narrowed as well, “Did you just say it happened again?”

“Look, it’s not really anything. I was just on my balcony and it turns out he was trying to get to his friend’s apartment by jumping from a tree, but he ended up landing on my slab of concrete instead. Would that it had been the sidewalk.”

“Jean!” Krista finally placed the napkin back on the counter, “But seriously that sounds like a security concern. Anyone could get into your house that way!”

“How many people do you know idiotic enough to try and jump from a tree onto a concrete balcony?”

“Ummm… maybe one? But you should still talk to your landlord.”

“Look, if I talk to him will you go and get me a basket of fries?” he tried out his most winning smile but was pretty sure it fell sort of flat. She still took the hint, though.

Sighing, she asked, “Sure, do you also want a milkshake?”

“Nah, I cheated on y’all with Starbucks again. Sorry!” Jean ducked away from the counter towards the bathroom before she could start giving him her patented rant about how conglomerate chains were ruining the world for small businesses.

* * *

Three hours, five baskets of fries, and two instances of Sasha “accidentally” spilling lemonade on him later, Jean was finally rewarded for his patience by the entrance of his best friend. Sure, he could have just gone to his bakery, as Ymir had suggested numerous times, but where was the fun in that? Nowhere, since Marco was going to show up with a pie delivery eventually anyway.

Jean got his fun by stumbling off his stool and clutching his chest, “Marco? I thought you were dead! When you stopped picking up my calls I just assumed the worst, and… Oh god, I have to call the funeral home!”

Marco Bodt rolled his eyes at his friend, set the pies on the counter, and pulled his hand away from his heart, “Stop scaring off Krista’s customers, some of us actually do work, you know.”

“Too late!” Connie sang from the kitchen, “He’s been sitting there for like three hours complaining about his life and constantly asking us when you’d get here.”

“I’m codependent, asshole!” Jean shouted back, “It’s not like you’re any better about Sasha.”

“Yeah well,” Connie moved into the doorway, “I’m not a loser like you are.”

“Shut up,” Jean groused, “Friendship is magic. What Marco and I have transcends what you mortals define as love. If I wasn’t totally straight I would totally be dating Marco, but you should stop trying to bind our love with your _labels_.”

“Jean you seriously just labeled yourself,” Marco sighed at Jean’s confused look, “as straight. And even if you weren’t, I still wouldn’t date you.”

Connie burst out laughing as Jean clutched his chest again, and went back into the kitchen as Krista noticed and stared at him. She then turned her gaze on Jean, but before she could begin to scold him for making a ruckus as well, he grabbed Marco’s arm.

“Jean, if you want to talk you’re going to have to tag along with me back to the bakery,” Marco didn’t even bother trying to remove Jean, just headed towards the door, “I do have work to do, you know.”

“I have a job!” Jean protested.

“Yeah but you do it in your pajamas,” his friend paused as Jean detached and hastily put some money down on the counter for the fries. Krista usually made him take them for free, but Jean usually didn’t have meltdowns in her diner. He’d never understood people who said money couldn’t buy happiness. It couldn’t literally do so, but it sure made a lot of things easier.

Then again, no amount of money was ever going to keep his friends from mocking him endlessly about this, but at least they’d let him back in the restaurant. Jean glanced around himself, and realizing Marco had already made it out to his truck, dashed after him.

* * *

Jean maintained a silent treatment of his friend for the entirety of 2.72 bad radio pop songs before turning the volume down and looking at his friend.

“Are you done being petty that I stopped picking up your calls?” Marco asked.

“Probably not,” Jean replied, “But now I’ve got you in person I don’t need to call you again, now do I?”

“Why did I let you into my car?” Marco sighed, “Fine, go ahead and bitch already.”

“I am _not_ ‘bitching’!” Jean was vaguely offended, but his and Marco’s relationship had always been based on a little too much honesty, “Look, if someone had showed up in your house in the middle of the night you wouldn’t be calling me daily, you would’ve just moved in with me.”

“I offered to let you come stay with me, but you said it wasn’t a big deal,” sometimes Marco’s unflappable attitude drove Jean a bit crazy, but most of the time he found it calming. Unfortunately, this situation didn’t really fall under ‘most of the time’, “But then you kept waking me up in the middle of the night. And by ‘waking me up’ I mean the phone’s ringing would wake up _the baby_.”

Jean winced, “How is Marlow?”

“Oh, pretty good, especially now that his godfather will stop waking him up at 2 in the morning,” Marco leveled another look in Jean’s direction, stopping only when Jean shrieked and flapped his hands at the road.

His chuckle was interrupted by Jean, “Yeah, okay, sorry. Can I tell you about this morning yet?”

“Can I stop you?” Jean wasn’t sure if Marco was oblivious to Jean’s glare because he was actually watching the road or if it was because his glare had lost its intended effect on him after all these years.

“Ugh, whatever. Okay, so this morning I ran into Eren, you know, creepy stalker dude-”

“I’m pretty sure after the 15th time you called me I did actually learn his name.”

“You are the _worst_ friend,” Jean said with little intended sincerity. Most people would probably have kicked him out of the car by now, “But anyway, I guess we were both tired from him jumping onto my balcony again last night, and so-”

“Wait, what?” Jean was unsure if the truck squealed to a stop because Marco had been slow to realizing the light was red, or if he was really that shocked by Jean’s story.

“Look, it’s not that big a deal. I was on my balcony because… well, anyway, I was on my balcony when he apparently decided to visit Armin again, but ended up missing and landing on mine, and then we had a pleasant chat which ended when Armin came to pick him up,” Jean ignored the stare Marco gave him, they both knew that wasn’t all to the story, but they also both knew that Jean would probably tell him the entire thing later in too much detail, so he saw no reason to reenact it all now. His impressions of other people were really only great after 3 beers, anyway, “and then this morning we were both at Starbucks, and he was right behind me in line, and it was creepy. But the absolute worst part is that I found my true love and I think she’s dating him.”

Jean paused for breath only to see his friend staring at him in shock, and poked him, “The light turned green.”

Marco hit the accelerator only to pull over in a parking lot right across the intersection. He turned to face his friend, “You’re telling me that the fact that a strange man regularly jumps on your balcony, and could possibly be stalking you, doesn’t worry you so much as the fact that you saw him with a woman?”

“Look, Marco, don’t get me wrong,” Jean was impressed that Marco had managed to deliver that whole sentiment in a calm and collected manner still, “I’m a little creeped out by this guy. Krista made me promise to talk to Levi about cutting down the tree he’s climbing, much good as that’ll do, and I guess I can also talk to Armin, but I really don’t think it’s that big a deal. I mean, he seems like a bit of an idiotic and possibly violent asshole, but I’m also pretty sure he also cries himself to sleep about the fact that baby seals are being clubbed to death. I think my future is more important, and really, this woman could very well be the _love of my life_. You didn’t see her hair, Marco, it flowed majestically. MAJESTICALLY.”

“You know, back when I was a kid we judged women on more than their hair,” Marco interrupted, “Like, if we actually had anything in common.”

“It’s not like I’ve had a chance to talk to her about anything,” Jean ignored fact that Marco was giving him his patented ‘you’re being sexist again, Jean’ look, “Besides, she also obviously thought that Eren was an idiot which means she’s sane. Though there’s still the whole hanging out with him thing… Well if she thinks he’s an idiot maybe they’ll break up soon? Oh man, I’ve got to find her again, this could be my chance!”

Marco just sighed, “Jean, I know it’s been a while since I’ve been single, but I’m going to use my wife and child as my credentials for knowing what I’m talking about. Breaking up a couple in order to date one of them is a _bad idea_.”

Jean blinked, “Well, yeah, I guess, but he totally doesn’t deserve her. Like, she’s petite but has _muscles_ and she’s just like the perfect height, not too short, not too tall, and her hair was really just this beautiful glossy black that flowed out behind her, and her eyes are this piercing black, and her skin was like ivory… And Eren is just this slightly short dude with messy brown hair, and frankly overrated blue eyes. I mean, I guess his skin is this nice golden brown, but still. She was a _goddess_ , Marco.”

“So what makes you more deserving of her?”

“You wound me! Aren’t you supposed to be a supportive friend?”

“No,” Marco replied bluntly, “I believe in tough love. I’ve found it works best with you.”

“Oh shut up,” Jean said crossly, “Look, maybe my hair is sort of a mess but it’s totally what’s in style these days! It’s like an undercut or something! And the whole blond thing is totally cool, and shut up it is not _dishwater blond_ no matter what Connie says. Connie doesn’t even have hair!”

Marco still looked unimpressed.

“Plus, I’m tall. Girls like tall guys, right?”

Marco just gave him the look again, “Appearance isn’t everything, you know.”

“Yeah, well, it can certainly help things along,” Jean groused, “Look, all I’m saying is she’s currently dating a short angry asshole, so why wouldn’t she date a tall one?”

Marco chuckled at that, “At least you’re not trying to lie to anyone about who you really are.”

“Like I could lie to your little freckled dimpled face,” Jean said, reaching over to squeeze Marco’s cheeks, only to get batted away by his hands.

“Oh get over yourself, I need to get back to deliveries,” Marco turned the key in the ignition and turned the car out of the parking lot, “So other than your new crushes, how’s your life been recently?”

“Don’t call them crushes! That implies I like both of them! Why would I like Eren? That’s _gross_ , Marco,” Jean tried to bat his friend one more time before realizing he was still driving, “But anyway, you remember that freelance job I told you about before? The one with the current website that’s _total crap_ , well I finally got a chance to start remodeling it, and I’ve got to tell you, the original code was even worse than I’d feared…”

Marco just hummed along as his friend started ranting about how no-one in their right mind would ever willingly use PHP to make a website, and started thinking of new pie combinations.

* * *

It was 6 PM by the time Jean got home, and as he trudged up the stairs he wondered how he was going to bring up the whole Eren thing with Armin. Most of the time when he talked to his neighbor it was a, “My mom just sent me too many cookies again, do you want some?” conversation that ended up with them discussing the merits of different amounts of butter in different dishes, ending in both of them cooking and comparing. Now, however, there weren’t any cookies to sweeten the conversation, and he didn’t know how to begin it in any case.

_Hi, so could you maybe double ensure your creepy stalker friend friend doesn’t show up at my apartment again? My friends are getting worried. Also, who’s the hot chick he was hanging out with earlier?_

No, that made him sound like a stalker himself as well as sexist.

_Funny story, I ran into your friend at Starbucks earlier. Are you sure he’s not stalking me? Also, a woman showed up and dragged him away, is that weird?_

Slightly more subtle, but Armin might ask why it was any of his business.

Given that Armin was standing in front of his door, though, and looking like he was about to knock did save Jean the trouble of finding a time to approach his neighbor.

“Hey Armin,” he called out, trying to not end up appearing creepy by just showing up behind him.

Armin jumped anyway, “Oh! Hi Jean. I was just stopping by to apologize again…”

“Look, it’s not that big a deal,” Jean’s resolve folded awkwardly in the face of Armin’s giant eyes and obvious worry about the situation, “Do you want to come in? Marco gave me some pie to bring home, and…”

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” Armin started, but Jean’s curiosity about the mysterious woman was burning, and he interrupted.

“Oh, no trouble. I’ve sort of been meaning to talk to you about it all anyway.”

“Oh, okay then,” Armin scuffed his foot on the doormat while waiting for Jean to unlock his door, before following him in, “I really am sorry about Eren.”

“It’s… I mean, it was a little startling when it happened but it really wasn’t that big a deal?” Jean scratched the back of his neck, “I guess if you say he’s not a creepy stalker I’ll believe you. You seem like a good judge of character.”

“Eren?” Armin scoffed, “Nah, the dude spent his teenage years trying to convince our high school to use recycled paper to save an endangered species of butterfly that could only live in the rainforest. Completely ignoring the fact that our school’s paper came from trees in the northwest, of course.”

Jean had a personal moment of feeling victorious about his assumption of Eren’s character before remembering that smiling in this situation might make it look like he wanted to be friends with Eren, or something, “As long as he doesn’t try and break into my house again I don’t really see any issues arising,” Jean turned to the cabinet to get out a couple of plates for the pie.

“Oh good. Thank you again for not involving the police or anything,” Armin shrugged at Jean’s curious look, “Eren gets himself into weird situations a lot, and I’m not always sure how he gets out of them. Probably with a lot of help from Mikasa.”

Before Jean could interrupt to try and find out if Mikasa was the beautiful woman from earlier, Armin was already continuing, “I’m really glad that you’re not holding a grudge or anything, though. That makes my life a whole lot easier.”

Jean blinked, “Why does it make _your_ life easier?”

“Oh, um…” Armin trailed off for a second, “Well his current housemate is sort of moving away soon, and I’ve never really done anything with my spare bedroom,” he nodded towards Jean’s study to indicate where in his own apartment he meant, “So we decided that Eren should probably come live in my apartment until we can find a better one to share. I would just move into their current place, but their rent is almost up and I’ve still got another 6 months on the lease here. Plus, Levi said it was okay for me to add a roommate, and so…”

Jean was a little surprised that their landlord hadn’t tried to charge Armin double for adding a roommate, but remembered that Armin was well-liked in the building, possibly because most people hadn’t had to deal with his friends. Or, well, one friend in particular.

“Well, like I said, if he doesn’t get in my way again, I see no reason to get in his,” crap, that came out sounding more ominous than he meant it. Also, there was no way he was going to be able to explain this to anyone reasonably. _Oh, sure, the weird guy who broke into my house and that I sort of obsessed over is moving in next to me. No, I still don’t actually think he’s a stalker, even though all evidence points in that direction_.

“Oh man, thanks a lot Jean! That really makes me feel better about this whole situation. Anyway, what flavor did you say this pie was again?” Armin turned toward his plate, looking like all of his problems were behind him. Jean had a sneaking feeling that his own problems were just about to begin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't really believe anyone has actually read this? Idrk how to deal with the internet somedays. Anyway, here is the first bit of actual plot. If anyone spots any errors, please tell me and I'll do what I can to fix them!  
> Thank you and here's a hug emoticon, -0-  
> Also! In case anyone cares, both the title and the chapter titles have so far all been taken from Owl City. Specifically from his Ultraviolet EP. I don't even have words to explain how much I love it.


	3. If My Heart Was a House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot happens

It wasn’t unusual for Armin to invite just Eren over for dinner, and not Mikasa, but it also wasn’t common, so despite Mikasa assuring her brother that she was busy packing, but _would_ try to swing by for desert, Eren did feel a certain amount of trepidation as he walked up the stairwell to Armin’s apartment.

And absolutely none of that nervousness had anything to do with the fact that Armin’s neighbor might be around. Eren had even checked with his magic eight ball before he headed over.

So when he knocked on his oldest friend’s door, and the blond opened it almost instantly and while wearing a bright red apron, Eren didn’t think he was imagining things by noticing that Armin’s words were a little garbled and his smile a little too forced. Armin had even cooked _lasagna_ , which was basically their special occasions food, so something was up.

“Dude, seriously, what’s up?” Eren decided to just cut to the chase instead of dealing in pleasantries Armin was spewing. He’d thought their friendship was past that point, anyway.

“…And that’s why I really think gardenia go better in a boquet then- what? Why would you say that? Nothing’s up!” Eren could swear that Armin was squeaking higher than the human ear could register at the end of that sentence, since he didn’t _think_ he was old enough to be losing his hearing.

“Armin, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Eren put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and looked him in the eye seriously, “Did you get caught up with the mafia or something? Or… Shit, are you in love with me? Because I just love you like the most platonic brother ever… Or is this about your neighbor? Did he file a complaint? Because I will sign a restraining order and everything please don’t get kicked out of another apartment on my behalf!”

Armin interrupted his friend, wrinkling his nose, “Gross. Even if I liked you I wouldn’t date you. Didn’t we cover this last time you were drunk? I’m asexy and you don’t know how to function without fulfilling your carnal urges. Plus, you’re the one in this friendship who gets caught up in weird illegal scandals.”

“One time! Besides, for you, I would find the will to abstain from sex.”

“That’s…. Oddly sweet, actually,” Armin blinked, “But still not really relevant since neither of us are in love with each other. Anyway, everything is actually fine with Jean, as well.”

“Oh, okay. Speaking of… I’ve been meaning to tell you that your neighbor is kind of an asshole.”

Whatever Armin had been worried about apparently flew out of his brain as he set down the pan of lasagna he’d finally pulled out of the oven, “Eren. Do you have a fever?”

“What? No! I’m totally not sick at all! I didn’t even feel nauseous on the bus over here!”

“Eren, you just told me that the guy who has done nothing about the fact that you’ve now trespassed not only once, but twice… The guy who didn’t call the cops or even his landlord when he found you sleeping on his couch? That guy? You’re telling me _he’s_ an asshole?” Armin stared intently at Eren, “Why???”

Eren stared just as intently back, “Well he wouldn’t give me a cigarette, and he totally locked me out on his balcony while it was _cold_.”

Eren had never quite understood what people meant by spluttering until this moment, Armin giving him a great demonstration.

“EREN, YOU WERE ON HIS BALCONY! ILLEGALLY!” Armin came closer to losing his temper than he had in years.

“Whoa, don’t have a panic attack there, buddy,” the fact that Eren seemed genuinely worried seemed to ease Armin’s nerves, minorly at least, “I just mean… Also he was like, _super_ weird when Mikasa showed up at Starbucks.”

“There is a story there that you are not telling me,” Armin appeared to be breathing deeply, and collecting his calm once again.

“Okay, so I might’ve run into him again at Starbucks after the whole second balcony incident? And I might’ve given the impression I’m actually a stalker? And then Mikasa showed up to pick me up because apparently neither of you trust me to take care of myself. But really, it wasn’t a big deal!” Eren raised his hands in protest.

Armin just ignored him in favor of getting out plates and forks, and finally serving the lasagna.

Once they were seated at the table, and the tension caused by the clanking of silverware had become unbearable, Armin finally broke the silence.

“Jean. His name is Jean. You should probably start calling him that since soon he’s going to be your neighbor too.”

“What.”

Armin looked back up at his friend, meeting his eyes, “Look, I know you think it’s that Mikasa and I don’t trust you, but it’s not really that? It’s just… We don’t want you to have to feel alone. The three of us are basically the only family we have left, and even you can’t deny your propensity for getting in trouble,” Armin ducked to avoid Eren trying to punch his shoulder, “and if one of us can keep an eye on you, we’re both less worried about getting a call from the police in the middle of the night about you somehow pissing off a gang and getting killed. And that’s why Mikasa and I decided that it would probably be best if you moved into the apartment with me once she’s gone to her new job. I mean, if that’s okay with you?”

Eren looked at his friend, “You guys just decided this without me?” it was now his turn to use breathing exercises to calm down.

“We just…” Armin paused, “Okay, in retrospect that doesn’t seem to agree with us trusting you.”

“You think?” Eren stood up, before pausing and sitting back down, staring at his plate for a minute before looking up, “But… ugh. I just want to make it clear that I’m totally not cool with you guys going behind my back to make decisions about _my_ life,” he ignored Armin’s attempt to apologize again, “But I guess it would be pretty sweet to be roommates with you again. Not sure where I’m going to shove all my shit, but…”

Armin would deny all future allegations of tearing up, he was just a little stuffy because he’d forgotten he was allergic to magnolias earlier when he’d gotten a bouquet to liven his place up. Which was totally not weird, because even if Eren had already seen his place as a giant mess, now that he was looking at it as a future abode it was possible that… okay Armin just liked flowers.

* * *

By the time Mikasa showed up around an hour later, Eren had basically forgotten about his friends’ interference with his life, and was busy trying to shove Armin’s stuff around, while the man whose stuff was in question tried to hide anything breakable.

Mikasa just stepped over the carnage Eren was making of the living room, and set down the cookies she’d brought on the kitchen counter, “You guys do know I’m not leaving for another month and a half, right?” she said, serving up a piece of the cooling lasagna for herself.

Armin just sighed and went to go join her, grabbing a cookie, “Yes, but Eren insists that it will be easier if instead of packing everything up at once we just do a time-share thing. Like divorced parents? Basically he’ll just come over for sleepovers a lot and transfer more of his possessions every time.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes, used to her faux-brother’s oddities, “And you just let him?”

“It’s going to be his place now, too,” Armin shrugged. Mikasa just hummed in agreement around her bite of lasagna.

They both watched him turn around the bookshelf, “And now he is doing… _what_ exactly?”

At this Armin winced, “Well, he’s going to be moving into the spare room, right? But he didn’t believe me when I told him I could clear out all that stuff tomorrow, so… He took it upon himself to rearrange the living room in order to fit everything.”

Mikasa observed the going-ons for another couple minutes before scraping her plate and questioning her friend again, “And when do you predict he’ll realize that what he’s doing is useless and give up?”

“Oh, he’ll probably never realize it’s pointless, even when I rearrange everything back to how it was tomorrow. But he’ll probably get tired right around… now actually.”

Almost as soon as Armin had finished speaking, Eren flopped down onto the (now) tilted couch and called into the kitchen, “Hey, Armin, do you want to take a movie break? Oh,” he craned his head around, “Hi Mikasa!”

“Eren,” she nodded before putting away her dishes and grabbing a cookie.

“Anyway, Armin, where are your movies?” Eren trailed off before looking at the now inaccessible bookshelf, “Oh dammit.”

Armin just sighed and wove his way back into the chaos, “Don’t worry, there should still be a couple lodged on top of the DVD player.”

“Cool,” Eren said, relieved he didn’t have to clean up the room, “Hey, Mika, want to grab me a cookie?”

A napkin suddenly covered his face, and he flinched at the speed it had arrived, “I thought I told you **not**  to call me that,” she said, grabbing him a cookie anyway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an (obviously) short update just to say that... basically I'm a slacker and I'm sorry? I finished the story in July for Camp Nanowrimo but it still needs major editing which is why I can't just post it, and then after I finally shouted YOLO into the heavens and posted the first bit, I went on multiple road trips and didn't manage to find the time to work on editing anymore (AKA, I read a bunch of other people's fanfic instead). This narrative gets even worse because I'm moving into my dorm tomorrow, which means that the school year's starting and I'll be even busier, and.... I'm reaaaaaally sorry I promise I'll try to get this all uploaded by the end of the calendar year? But on a more cheerful note, everyone who's read this story at all, or even left kudos or comments is a beautiful person, and yes, that means you, thank you thank you thank you!  
> (And I'm also sorry for taking a prompt meant to avoid cliches and turning it into a neighbor!fic. But I'm not really sorry because I love my cliches and there are gonna be like at least 2 more popping up. I even already threw in a coffee shop so, um, sorry not sorry).  
> (Also I'm sorry if this is still posting buggy and there are extra end notes at the end of this???)


	4. Fuzzy Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention there's a kitten yet? Because look! A kitten!

Jean was unlocking his apartment when he heard a commotion from one of the other apartments. He moved a little to the left, wondering if Hannah and Franz and their nauseatingly perfect love were finally falling apart, only to realize that the sound was coming from the wrong side. He tried to search his memory for anyone that Armin would be fighting with, but his neighbor had always seemed so even-tempered. Maybe he was being burglarized? It was still early evening, but his mom hadn’t raised him to be the sort of friend to ignore a neighbor’s distress.

As he approached the door the words from within became clearer, and he could catch entire phrases, “….Levi has already… I don’t care how cute it is… MY apartment…. I didn’t mean…”

Deciding that eavesdropping was creepy and beneath him, Jean finally knocked on the door, only for it to be opened by a very-not-Armin, but rather a very-angry-Eren.

Oh, right. Jean remembered something about Armin giving a warning about his friend moving in. But he was pretty sure the warning hadn’t said anything about a squirming jacket?

Realizing that he was just now just silently standing in the doorway,he cleared his throat, “Is everything all right?”

Despite the fact that Jean had been looking at Armin, Eren sniffed loudly, bringing everyone’s attention back to him, “Well, it was until I discovered that my best friend is secretly an inhumane butt-munch, so intent on following rules he would sacrifice another’s life.”

Jean blinked.

Armin just scowled deeply, and practically growled, “Eren, you know that’s not what’s happening here. God, could you get your head out of your ass for once? Why did you even bring it here? You know I’m not allowed pets, and you technically still have a house for another few weeks.”

At the cursed word _pet_ , Jean quickly stepped inside, shoving Eren out of the way, and shut the door. Quietly, so as to not bring any attention to the room or its occupants.

“You brought a pet here??” he hissed at Eren, who was now glaring at him and holding the lump in his jacket protectively, “and _you_ ,” he turned to Armin, “while I understand your anger, you know you need to keep your voice down in instances like these!”

Eren was now staring, glancing between the both of them, his face alternating between anger and confusion, “Seriously you guys, what is such a big deal? What has you so scared you refuse to help this poor, innocent, lost kitten?” he pulled a little bundle of fur from where he’d been clutching his jacket to his chest, and as it turned its wide blue eyes towards Jean, it took all his self restraint not to melt.

Armin interrupted Jean’s entrancement, “Eren, I literally just told you this,” following Jean’s lead and speaking only in a hissed whisper, he continued, “the problem is Levi, our landlord. You know, the one who’s very kindly letting you move in with me, even though that wasn’t in my lease?”

“But that’s my point, he’s letting me move in and I’m much bigger than a kitten!”

Jean grimaced, “Yes but you’re presumably house trained and probably don’t shed.”

“Hey!”

Armin just nodded, “Even though Levi literally lets other people live in all of his rooms, he still has very strict policies about cleanliness. He doesn’t like, come around to our rooms and police them, but the hallways always have to be clean, and he’s even complained at people for leaving things out on their balconies before. Or in view of their balconies. It’s why most of us have curtains.”

Eren was now the one staring at them in shock and horror, “Is that even legal?”

“It’s technically his property,” Armin pointed out, “And other than that he’s a fairly decent landlord.”

“Armin, I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to move with Mikasa. I can’t live like this.”

“Like what?” Armin didn’t seem that surprised by this turn of events.

“I can’t live a life without kittens,” Eren said, just as solemnly.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Jean interrupted their weirdness, “Just give it here.”

“Wait, you mean you’ll take it?” Jean was surprised by the wide smile Eren now gave him, and the way his eyes literally sparkled. There wasn’t even a light for them to reflect, they were just… okay, Jean was now going to stop this train of thought.

“I mean, I just wanted to hold it, I didn’t mean-” Jean got no further before Eren had bundled the kitten into his hands and started jabbering a way a mile a minute.

“Oh man, this is perfect! Now I don’t have to drop out of school and move in with my sister again just so I can keep a kitten,” Jean thought Armin might be about to protest but Eren continued, “Cause if you have it right next door I can still check in on it regularly, and you know, I thought you were kind of an asshole before but if you’re willing to break the rules for the sake of a kitten you’re obviously way cooler than some people I call friends.”

At this point Armin really did interrupt, “Eren, Jean didn’t even agree to keep the kitten yet.”

The sound of his name made Jean look up from where he was cooing to his new best friend, “What?”

“Oh, nothing, Armin was just talking nonsense,” Eren hastily put in before Armin rubbed his head and spoke over him.

“Eren has decided that you are going to adopt his kitten.”

“His name is Chester, Armin!” Eren glared at his friend, but now it was Jean’s turn to interrupt.

“Whoa, the little one is cute, but I mean, I don’t want Levi to kick me out, and…”

Eren turning towards Jean made the words die in his throat. As both the kitten and Eren stared at him with wide pleading eyes, Jean felt his heart start to twinge with emotions he didn’t know how to deal with.

“Eren, it’s his choice…” Armin started to say before seeming to realize his friend wouldn’t listen and gave up.

Jean could feel his own resolve slowly dissolving and didn’t know what to do about it.

Oh god this was an awful idea, “Okay, I’ll take the kitten!” the logical part of his brain won only by still keeping his voice quiet.

This would probably be the death of him.

* * *

Eren was freely willing to admit that he was lonely. He had no shame about the fact that he was eating chocolate ice cream and crying over movies, and anyone who was judging him could meet his best friend. No, not Armin, his _fist._

Just because he hadn’t been dumped didn’t mean that Eren wasn’t heartbroken, and he was going to cry if he wanted to.

When Armin finally came out of his room at the noise, the tears had their intended effect of making him stop and look sympathetic.

“Eren… What’s going on?” he went to the kitchen to get a spoon, and then came and sat on the couch.

“It’s just… I miss…” the crying now got in the way as he became unable to choke out the words.

“Eren,” Armin patted him on the shoulder before stealing the ice cream away, “Mikasa isn’t gone yet, and I thought you’d decided to stop running away from that by avoiding her?”

“Not her!” Eren cried, “I meant Chester.”

“Who?” Armin lowered the spoon.

“Chester,” Eren repeated, “My kitten.” Another sob wracked his body and he blew his nose on his shirt.

Armin was now outright staring at him, “Eren, he’s literally right next door. I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“That’s exactly the problem!” it was hard not to explode with rage, “He’s right next door… with that selfish villain!”

“I thought you’d decided you liked Jean!” Armin almost threw his spoon in the air as he put his hands up in despair, ultimately deciding to just dedicate his energy to the ice cream.

“That’s until I realized that he didn’t adopt Chester to be nice… He just wanted to take him away from me.”

“Eren you are legitimately insane,” Armin refused to put down the ice cream, he needed the chocolate for this conversation, “I mean, I’ll stick with you until the end but you have got to get over yourself and just go visit Chester if you want to. Have you even tried?”

“I mean…” Eren trailed off.

“That’s what I figured,” Armin scraped the bottom of the ice cream carton and felt no guilt that he’d finished it, “You can’t blame Jean for taking away ‘Chester’ if you haven’t even tried to go visit him.”

Eren glared at his friend, “Are you betraying me now too?!”

Armin hit him with a spoon, and stared at him pointedly, “It’s what, 5 o’clock? Jean should be home in an hour. Go visit Chester then.”

“You mean he’s leaving Chester all alone??? And you say I was wrong to judge him!” Eren dashed out of the room.

Armin looked down at the now empty carton, and then back at the still playing TV. Shrugging, he changed the channel and settled back into the couch. Guess it was time to let Eren be someone else’s business for a while. 

* * *

Jean’s heart almost stopped when he heard a voice inside his apartment. He hadn’t done anything to give Fizzles away, had he?

He opened the door slowly, scared of what he might find inside.

Oh. It was just that asshole. He tried to remember if he’d locked his balcony that morning, only to give up caring at the sight of Fizzles splayed out on his back, his four paws batting at Eren’s hair.

Hearts weren’t built to survive such cuteness.

The momentary distraction caught him off guard, meaning Eren was first to speak.

“Ah, I see you’ve arrived home,” his voice was laced with far more accusation than seemed necessary, given he was the one who’d broken into another’s apartment.

“And I see you’ve broken in again,” Jean didn’t even try to hide the exasperation in his voice.

“You left a baby kitten alone! For hours!” Eren sat bolt upright, surprising Frizzles, who started to hiss before Eren picked him up and shushed him, “Shh, Chester, it’s okay.”

“Chester?” Jean decided to react to the important part of that sentence, “His name is Fizzles!”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s Chester!”

“Fizzles!”

“Chester!”

“Fizzles!”

At this point Fizzles started meowing pitifully and they both stopped, lowering their voices back down.

“Look, I found him, so I get to name him!” Eren spoke with mock-friendliness, but it seemed to placate the cat at least.

“And I’m taking care of him!” Jean kicked his shoes off and sat on the floor, holding his hands out for the kitten that was totally _his_.

Eren just clutched the kitten protectively to his chest, “You don’t get to just steal my kitten like that!”

“I’m the one risking getting kicked out of my apartment for him,” Jean glared, as Eren blinked at the reminder of that fact.

“Fine! But he’s still not _yours_ ,” he growled, before remembering _Fizzles_ , and soothingly petting the cat. Jean lowered his arms.

“Well then who’s is he?” Jean kept his voice as pleasant as he could.

“I guess,” Eren finally lowered Fizzles from where he’d been clutching him to his chest, “I guess he could be ours,” and he put the cat down in between the two.

Jean was proud of his maturity in not instantly snatching _his_ cat up, “I don’t see how that’s fair since I’m the one taking care of him.”

Eren’s expression turned back into a scowl, and Jean was once again caught off guard by the intensity of his glare, “Well if you’re leaving him alone all day you’re not taking very good care of him, now are you!”

Jean was caught off guard, “What, do you want me to work from home?”

“No, I want you to let me watch him!”

“What do you… Oh who am I kidding, of course you don’t have a job,” Jean tried not to let his disgust show too much, but was pretty sure he failed.

“Yeah, because I’m in school, you idiot,” Eren’s face became even more scrunched up.

“…How old are you?”

“I’m in graduate school! Jeez!” Eren started petting the kitten again, and his face relaxed as he did so, “What are you feeling so high and mighty for, anyway? If your work lets you wear _that_ you’re obviously not doing anything important,” he gestured at Jean’s wrinkled shirt and skinny jeans.

Jean opened his mouth to protest, before remembering the number of days he’d worked in pajamas, “Look, I’m a freelance web designer. I just go work at a cafe or diner most days so that I don’t get distracted by things like Fizzles.”

“His name is Chester!”

“Fizzles!”

“Chester!”

“We are not doing this again,” Jean refused to be part of this tomfoolery, “Look, let’s just call him Fizzles McChester or something.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Shut up, it’s not like you’ve suggested anything better,” he refused to think that the heat flooding his face was a blush. If anything, it was a flush of anger. The nerve of this guy! Breaking into his house, renaming his cat…

“I didn’t say it wasn’t his name,” Eren sniffed, “I just said it’s stupid. Which it is. Because you’re stupid.”

Jean held back a laugh. If he was amused it was only because his friends had warped his sense of humor so much he thought anything making fun of him was a joke, “Ugh, fine. How is this going to work, then?” he rustled through his bag, pulling out a notepad and pen.

Eren’s face unwrinkled and he stared at him, “You mean you’ll give me partial custody?”

Jean clicked his pen nervously, “I mean… You’re probably right that I shouldn’t be leaving him home all the time, and I really won’t get work done if I’m just here, so…”

“No this is great!” Eren exploded, “Maybe Armin was right and you aren’t a complete jackass!”

“Excuse me?” Jean didn’t know if he was supposed to be offended at that or not.

“Oops, sorry dude,” Eren beamed at Jean, looking even happier than when he’d offered to take the kitten in the first place.

“Um…” Jean refused to think that he was stammering, “Okay. Are you living at Armin’s full time now, then?”

“Oh, right,” Eren started grumbling, “Not for another couple weeks. But Mika will probably be okay if I spend my days here because of a kitten, and then I can still hang out with her on weekends.”

“Mika?” Jean asked, wondering if that was the name of the girl from Starbucks.

“My sister,” Eren explained, and Jean felt simultaneous hope and despair. On the one hand, if it was the girl from the coffeeshop, at least Eren wasn’t competition. On the other, they’d looked nothing alike.

“Well, okay, let me write down my schedule for you,” Jean turned to his paper, and started scribbling down the times he’d be out of the apartment, “Oh, and if you’re taking over with the cat you’ve gotta take litterbox duties too.”

“Ughhhh,” Eren grumbled, but his smile still didn’t diminish, and Jean refused to think about the fact that his eyes were still sparkling even though he was now only inches from Jean, peering down at the piece of paper, “Fine, I guess. But since you’re the one with a job,” he sniffed, “then you’re in charge of buying the cat food still.”

“If I don’t have to touch poop ever again, I’d be happy to do so,” Jean breathed a sigh of relief he didn’t know he’d been holding in, “Now, are there any days you _are_ busy?”

* * *

It was days before Marco saw his friend at the diner again. Usually this wouldn’t be all that surprising, what with conflicting schedules and Jean’s weird refusal to visit the bakery, but Jean also hadn’t been calling him at weird hours to complain about his life.

When he saw bandages on his friend’s hand, he became truly worried.

“Jean,” he called out when he was passed right by in favor of the counter.

“Marco!” Jean turned around with a tired smile, “And you have coffee!”

Marco looked at the coffee pot sat on the table in front of him, and frowned a little, “Well I see how much I mean to you, then.”

“I don’t think I ever lied,” Jean stole his mug and poured out more steaming liquid, “I am entirely here for your pies. The coffee is a nice side bonus, though.”

“Oh shut up,” Marco kicked Jean under the table, “We both know you only hang out with me for my pretty face.” When Jean didn’t erupt in his usual denials of homosexuality, Marco truly knew something was up, “Alright, dude, spill. I’ve been getting full nights of sleep for a week! What’s wrong?”

Jean blinked at him, “Nothing,” his hand wobbled and he spilled coffee on himself, “Shit!” he dabbed at himself with napkins, while Marco just continued staring him down.

“Jean,” he did his best impression of Jean’s mother when Jean refused to eat something on his plate. Which was scarier than it sounded.

“Okay, look, you’ve got to keep this a secret, but…” Marco leaned forward to try and catch the next words but they were still lost as mumbles into the coffee.

“You’ve been bitten? Are you a vampire or something?” Marco refrained from snorting only because of the suspicion that this might truly be serious.

“No, I’ve…” he lowered his voice again, but this time set the mug down before he whispered, “I’ve gotten a kitten.”

Marco stared at him in shock, “You had me all worried about your health about a _kitten_? I mean, I’m sure it’s cute and I’ll love it, but still. I was worried someone had died, Sasha and Connie were planning to have an intervention if you didn’t talk to one of us in the next few days!”

“No, shh, keep your voice down!” Jean scrambled to cover Marco’s hands, “If it gets back to Levi that I… you know… Someone will die! And that someone will be me!”

“Oh for christ’s sake…” Marco trailed off before remembering that no matter his height, Jean’s landlord’s towered in a menacing manner even in the presence of pie, “Okay, fine, then why did you even get it?”

“It was a favor for a friend.”

Marco laughed before he could help himself, “Jean, all your friends are currently in this diner.”

“Wow, thanks,” Jean glared over the now empty mug, but at least he seemed to have some color in his cheeks. The bandaids on his hands also made more sense, “Look… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s what I just said!”

“Jean, you stubbed your toe and had to call me to ask what a broken toe feels like.”

“Once!” Jean’s face flared crimson, “That happened once and I was drunk!”

“I’m just saying, you not talking is like… Well it’s like Ymir actually talking about her past?”

“Jean!” a flying whirlwind of brunette hair and hot pink apron interrupted their conversation, “Connie and I thought you were dead!”

“Also, I heard that Marco,” Ymir followed Sasha in a more subdued manner, “And I’ll have you know that the reason I don’t divulge details is because I have manners. I may have been raised in the country, but it wasn’t a barn.”

She winked at Jean as Marco gaped, “You did not just tell us more about your history to spite me than you ever have, even after we plied you with free beer.”

“What can I say? I like to keep my air of mystery. Now come on, Sasha, just because boy wonder here is risen from the dead doesn’t mean that the burgers won’t burn.”

“But they won’t! I made sure to set a timer to let me know when to get back!” Sasha stared challengingly at the taller girl.

“Yeah, I think that went off while you were taking your ‘smoke break’.”

Sasha looked down at her watch, “Shit! You’re right! And it was a smoked salmon break, so don’t get any ideas, Jean!” after waving her finger in his face to emphasize her point, she darted back into the kitchen.

“It’s good to see you around again,” Ymir looked at Jean, “I was almost worried that we might get new customers because the place was starting to look presentable.”

Watching her walk back over to where Krista was manning the register, Jean just shook his head, “Was that an insult or not?”

“Depends on if she likes new people more than she likes you, I guess,” Marco shrugged at his friend, “Now spill your beans already.”

“Okay, fine, but not here,” Jean glanced around the diner again, “You guys keep forgetting that Levi frequents here which is how I met him in the first place.” Noticing Marco’s look, he continued, “You guys always tell embarrassing stories about me in such loud tones of voice! What if he hears!”

Marco just sighed and shook his head, “Okay, fine, where do you want to talk then?”

“Your truck?”

“No.”

“Fine, is the gang meeting at the bar tonight?”

“It is Friday.”

Jean nodded curtly, “Well that place is dirty enough even _I_ don’t want to go in there. Meet me there an hour early and I’ll tell you what you’ve missed.”

“Can’t wait,” Marco kept his face blank.

“Good,” at this point Jean could be ignorant to or just ignoring the sarcasm, and Marco wasn’t sure either of them really knew which was happening, “Well if we’re doing that I need to call someone.”

“You what?” but Jean just smirked and walked out the door.

“Weirdo,” Marco grabbed the now empty coffee pot and cup and went to go see if anyone in the kitchen needed his help.

* * *

“Alpha, this is Uno checking in.”

“Roger that Uno, let me just check that the coast is clear,” scuffling noises and the sound of a door slamming came through the phone before the affirmative, “The eagle seems to be far from the nest.”

“And the lion?”

“The lion is well.”

Jean sighed out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding and let himself slump against the alley wall, “Okay good. There’s been a change of plans about tonight though.”

“What do you mean?” Eren’s voice came through the speaker much harsher, the lighter tone he’d used when confirming that Levi was away and Fizzles was safe dropping at the sound of trouble.

“Look, it’s not anything big, I just don’t think I can watch him tonight.”

“What?” Eren squawked before shrieking a little, “Crap, give me a second.”

Jean heard the sound of a phone being put down and then what he’d learned meant a scuffle as Eren tried to reprimand their kitten for trying to climb him.

“Okay, I’m back,” Jean ignored how Eren’s voice seemed a little breathless.

“I need a night off, Eren. I’ve been covering all of the evening shifts and I have friends too, you know?”

“What?” the mocking tone could either be in actual disbelief or fake disbelief, and Jean was offended by either connotation.

“Look, you wanted to be a par… you wanted to have a kitten, Eren. And it’s not just fun, it’s a responsibility,” Oh god Jean was turning into his mother, “If you want to have your friends over, that’s fine, as long as you guys remain quiet so Levi doesn’t stop by. But I really need the night off.”

Eren sucked in a breath before sighing, “Would you be alright if I brought him over and just put him in my room at Armin’s? I think he could use a new environment to explore and then even if Levi does come by there won’t be cat stuff lying around.”

Jean rubbed his forehead and recited the word _compromise_ to himself, “I guess that sounds alright, just… make sure there’s nothing dangerous in your room, okay?”

“Are you insinuating that I would do anything to hurt Chester?” Jean heard the telltale sign of Eren gulping in air so he could rant without pausing, and hung up without taking a second look at his phone. 

* * *

Jean was relieved when he got to the bar to see that Marco had secured a booth, central enough that it would be too loud for eavesdroppers, but far enough from the dance floor that they could actually talk to each other.

He suspected he was possibly being a little over paranoid, but Levi always had the weirdest way of _knowing_ things. And it wasn’t like he was going through their trash…

Actually, a lot of things might make sense if he was getting Hanji to go through their trash and calling it science. Jean shuddered at the idea that his entire building might be part of a weird experiment cooked up by their brains. He shrugged off his coat when he got to the booth, but just to be safe, left his sunglasses on.

“Jean, those glasses make you look like a tool,” Marco sighed in greeting.

“You’re two pence haircut and white picket fence make _you_ look like a tool, but I don’t harass you about those constantly.”

Marco just stared until Jean just coughed embarrassed, “Well I haven’t for a couple days anyway,” he muttered finally.

“You haven’t talked to me in a couple days,” Marco pointed out, “Now seriously, tell me what’s going on.”

Jean just tossed his jacket onto the bench and sniffed at him before heading to the bar for his own drink. Marco shrugged and started going through the pockets.

When Jean came back it was to his friend staring at his phone in mild disbelief. When he coughed, Marco looked up, “Wow, you really got a kitten didn’t you?”

“I told you!” Jean slid into the booth and grabbed his phone back, smiling down at the image on the screen, “His name is Fizzles McChester and I love him more than I love you.”

“No you don’t,” Marco sipped his beer, “Now tell me about the guy in those photos with your cat?”

Busted. Jean lowered his drink and tried to look nonchalant, “Oh, that’s just Eren, he’s my neighbor.”

“Stalker Eren?” Marco took a swig of his beer, “Jean, what the hell have you done now?”

Jean scrunched his nose, “He isn’t really a stalker? I mean, he’s been in my house loads of times now and my underwear never seems out of place.”

“Um, what?”

Fighting a blush, Jean continued, “Look, you knew he was friends with Armin, right? Well something ended up happening, and now Eren is moving in with Armin.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Marco picked his beer up again, swigging in despair.

“Slow down on the beer dude,” Jean glared, “Your wife will kill me if I bring you home drunk again.”

“Hitch won’t kill you, she’ll just kill me,” Marco smiled, “Besides, I don’t really think either of us want me sober for this conversation.”

“Marco, it’s totally fine. Armin checked with me before asking Eren to move in and everything. I don’t even think we would have run into each other if it wasn’t for the cat.”

“Yes, how does your stalker play into all that?”

Jean kicked Marco under the table, “He’s not a stalker, shut up. Look, he found Fizzles abandoned somewhere, and Armin wouldn’t let him keep the cat in their apartment because he didn’t want to get kicked out,” Jean ignored the look his friend gave him, “And it’s not that I do either, it’s just…” he turned his phone around again, “Could you ignore those wide eyes?”

“Which ones?” Marco finally finished his beer.

“Ugh, Fizzles’ of course. Eren’s eyes aren’t even that nice, they’re just really blue,” Jean hastily took another drink, “Look, I have more room than Armin does, and I was starting to get a little lonely anyway, and it’s really nice to have Fizzles around. And then Eren was overly attached to the cat, as he is with everything, so we worked out an arrangement where he watches Fizzles while I’m gone and cleans the litter box, and I take care of him the rest of the time. Everything works out for everyone, and we don’t even have to see each other that much.”

Marco just raised an eyebrow.

“Look, just because I’m okay with the guy as a neighbor, doesn’t mean I like him on a personal level, you know? He’s just so… passionate about everything,” Jean shrugged a bit, “Which is fine, I guess, it’s just really intense to be around. We take care of Fizzles together, and both try and keep him secret, but besides reports over what the cat has done that day we don’t really talk that much,” he paused in consideration, “Which is kind of how my parents’ divorce worked too, in retrospect. Ow!” he winced as Marco kicked him.

“Sounds like you have the situation under control, then,” Marco just remarked, “But if you wanted a pet that much why didn’t you just move? It’s not like you don’t have the money.”

Jean fidgeted, “I know, and I’ve just gotten a new job and… Look, I can’t tell you much about it but it’s going to give me a shit ton more than I already have.”

Marco whistled, majoring in computer science had already paid off a lot for his friend.

Jean just sighed, “I’ll probably start looking for a house because I don’t have anything to do with the money, I guess I always just thought… I thought I’d get a house after a family? It just feels like the route everyone else takes.”

“What everyone else?”

“Well, you,” Jean pointed at his friend, “And… okay, none of the rest of our friends are normal enough to even be compared to that ideal.”

Marco laughed a little, “Look, if this is about your mom asking about grandchildren, I don’t really think she’s serious,” he ignored the look Jean gave him, “She’d probably be content if she just told you about Fizzles, to be honest. You’ve just don’t really tell her much about your life, and that’s why she harasses you about stuff like that.”

“Wow, thanks Dr. Phil,” Jean glowered, “Why don’t you just go get us some more beer?”

“Sure,” Marco shrugged, “We all just want you to be happy, though, dude.”

Jean stared at the table after his friend left, and only looked up when the sound of approaching feet stopped right next to him, seeing not Marco, but instead Connie. Who punched him.

“Ow!”

“That’ll teach you to disappear for days again!” Connie glowered, shoving Jean over to make room for the rest of their friends.

“It’s not like any of you tried to contact me either,” Jean tried to point out, but was drowned out as Marco came back with enough beer for everyone, and Sasha began questioning Connie about something weird again.

* * *

Eren was nervous. This was even worse than when he’d introduced his family to his prom date. It had seemed so important at the time, but now he understood that much as he’d enjoyed high school, it was just a small part of his life.

This on the other hand… Well, no one could deny that Chester was physically small, but Eren’s life had started to rearrange itself around the little fluff ball. If Chester and Mikasa didn’t get along…

The betrayal of Armin not wanting to keep a cat was still too fresh in his mind. Eren didn’t know what he’d do if neither of his best friends accepted Chester. He was only just beginning to figure out how to keep his relationship intact with Mikasa, what with her moving away, and if she also rejected his cat…

So maybe he was being a bit melodramatic. But as Eren stared down at Chester, he thought about the past week. He’d started getting along with _Jean_ , of all people, for the sake of this cat. It’s not like he could ever cut Mikasa or Armin out of his life, but he had no idea how he would be able to explain to them Chester’s importance if they didn’t understand.

Oh god, there had just been a knock at the door. He tried to pet Chester for strength, only to be batted away by a clawed paw, making him chuckle weakly before he exited his room.

Armin had beat him to the door, and in the doorway stood Mikasa, Annie slightly behind.

“Hey,” he nodded his head at them, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants before wandering into the living room, his friends trailing behind him.

“What’s up with Jaeger?” he heard Annie ask Armin, who just stammered in response.

Mikasa approached him, “Eren.”

“Yes, Mika?”

She hit his arm, “You said you had something you wanted to show me?”

“Right,” he gulped, and then went to double check that the front door was locked before going into his room, “C’mere Chester,” he clicked his tongue a bit, before just giving Chester his hand to leech onto. Hoping that the wouldn’t lose too much blood, he pulled the bundle up to his chest and returned to the living room.

A cursory glance showed him that Mikasa was standing where he’d left her, Annie had settled across from the TV with a bottle, and Armin had just curled up on the couch and had that look he always got when Eren brought up Chester.

Unprepared to start psychoanalyzing that look, Eren instead solemnly presented his hand and its attachment to his sister, “Mikasa, meet Fizzles McChester, or, just Chester, really.”

Mikasa blinked, and then held out a hand, “May I?”

“Of course!” Eren thought this was a good sign, “Just be careful, he…”

His words died in his throat as, instead of attacking her like he did everyone else, Chester instead let himself be held up to her chest and… was that purring?

“I was wondering when you would make me an aunt,” is all Mikasa said before settling on the couch as well, leaving Eren to gape before sitting between his two best friends.

He couldn’t resist the chance to poke Armin, “Some people understand the importance of pets in our lives, _Armin_.”

“Eren, would you stop faulting me for not wanting to get kicked out?”

“No,” Eren replied honestly, “Not when it comes to Chester.”

“I maintain that your attachment to that cat is unhealthy. Unless it’s not the cat you’re attached to-“ Armin was cut off by Eren attacking him with a pillow.

“I don’t know what’s got your panties in a bunch,” Annie said, contributing to the exchange, “You’re acting weird about the whole thing.”

“I have not!” Eren turned his attention away to the new traitor, “Chester is a majestic creature, and deserving of more praise than your brain could come up with, I don’t doubt.”

“You did not just insult me over your cat,” Annie cracked her fingers, “It is officially _on_.”

“ _Do not wrestle in my house!_ ” Armin said, effectively interrupting what was shaping up to be a deadly altercation.

“Fine,” Eren sniffed, “But only because I wouldn’t want to scar Chester with the sight of his first corpse… yet.” He bared his teeth at her.

“Whatever you say, Jaeger,” her smile was lazy, “What was our record again? I’ve won 17 and you’ve won 2?” she paused, and when he said nothing smirked, “Well, if you insist I suppose I could meet you at the gym tomorrow, and kick your ass again.”

“Try not to put him in the hospital,” Mikasa said, looking up from the cat, “I need my money to move, not for medical fees.”

“No promises,” Annie took another sip of her beer and returned to watching TV.

* * *

It was almost midnight when Jean got home, and as he stumbled up the stairs he wondered if he really was getting old. It used to be that he and his friends could stay up until the sun rose, and now here he was, yawning before the day was even over. Ah well. He wondered if he’d have to wake up Eren to get Fizzles back, but given the low murmur of voices coming from Armin’s apartment… or Armin and Eren’s apartment now, he guessed, that wouldn’t be a problem.

He knocked, staring wistfully at his own door and the rest that he knew lay beyond it.

The girl from the coffee shop opened the door and he suddenly found himself wide awake.

“Hi!” he stammered, remembering his manners to hold out his hand, “I’m Jean.”

She just stared at him before turning around and calling back into the apartment, “Do we know a Jean?”

“Yeah, let him in!” a voice called back, and she stood aside, letting him pass.

“Mikasa, did you even say hello?” a blonde woman spoke from the couch, and Jean’s brain went into hyperdrive piecing everything together… Mikasa, so she was Eren’s sister, which meant he totally had a chance and also that… right, she was leaving town in less than a week. Shit.

“Everyone knows not to talk to strangers,” Mikasa almost smiled before settling down on the couch, placing herself in between the blonde and where Eren was flopped with the kitten on his chest. He seemed to be trying to get Fizzles to dance, but the cat just wanted to sleep, too tired to do anything besides growl in response. “And you’re worried about me surviving on my own,” Eren flopped an arm at his sister.

Mikasa just scooped Fizzles up from where Eren was manhandling him, and let him rest on her lap, where he began purring and finally settled down to sleep.

“Jean!” Armin cried from where he lay on the floor, “Jean is my neighbor,” he said, presumably to inform those in the room who didn’t already know.

“Is he,” The blonde seemed remarkably uninterested for someone who’d been scolding Mikasa about manners a minute ago.

“Er, yes,” Jean decided to add something to the conversation, “Jean Kirstein, I’m also the owner of that cat,” he said, pleased he’d found a topic he could talk to Mikasa about.

“My cat,” Eren slurred a bit, rudely interrupting.

“Our cat,” Jean amended.

“Definitely not my cat,” Armin contributed, “Or Mikasa’s. Or Annie’s,” he giggled a little at that. Presumably the blonde was named Annie, then, and was not a pet person.

“Right,” Jean found himself clearing his throat and feeling rather out of the loop, “Well if you could just hand him back I’ll take him home.”

“I could just deliver him to your balcony later,” Eren observed, and Jean wondered just how much he’d had to drink.

“Eren,” Mikasa turned to face her brother, “is this the young man Armin told me you stalked?”

Jean didn’t know how he felt about being called a ‘young man’, but before he could say anything Eren rolled his eyes and proclaimed, “It was an accident!”

“Right,” Mikasa picked up Fizzles, and stood up, facing Jean again, “I’m dreadfully sorry for my brother’s behavior,” she said, and offered him the cat.

Jean didn’t know how to respond. Armin seemed to think that collapsing in giggles was appropriate, Eren was burying his face in a pillow, and Annie seemed to be pretending none of the rest of them existed. Jean settled for clearing his throat a bit, mumbling something about it being alright, taking his cat back, and escaping the apartment.

Maybe he really was getting too old, he contemplating, wondering when embarrassment had ever stopped him from talking to a girl before. Eventually he gave up remembering all the times he’d embarrassed himself and persevered, settling for tucking Fizzles in and going to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geez it's been too long since I updated and it's gonna be forever until I do so again. But whooo Fall Break! Giving me the illusion of time!  
> Also... I'm sorry. I literally have no idea what's happening in this part of the story? Like, this chapter was when I got stuck and then Natalie (<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3) told me to just add a kitten and that's how we got where we are today.  
> Anyway, eternal thanks as always to everyone who's reading this, and also to my friend who doesn't know that the plushy cat I gave him is making a cameo in this story. Mwahahahaha.


	5. BROS BROS BROS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bros

Armin woke up to someone standing over his bed. He blinked his eyes, wincing at the headache telling him he’d maybe drunk a little too much, but sighing to see that it was just Eren. Not that anyone else would really think middle of the night lurking was acceptable behavior.

“Mrgghhh?” he said, eloquently alerting Eren to his consciousness.

“Oh, right, Armin,” Eren seemed oddly determined given the hour, then again, he rarely followed the rules normal people did, “I just… I wanted to tell you that you’re right.”

“I usually am,” he mumbled, before raising himself into a sitting position, “Sorry, what are we talking about?”

“The kitten,” it was hard to tell in the dark, but Armin thought Eren might be blushing, “I was maybe being a little unfair to you about that whole thing.”

“So…” it was too late for Armin to put together what Eren was getting at.

“Look, what I’m trying to say,” Eren took a deep breath, “Is that it wasn’t fair for me to expect you to put your housing situation on the line just because I found a kitten. And I’m not saying that I don’t still love Chester, because I do, and he’s strong competition with you for my main man, but… It’s possible that I was just projecting my betrayal from you and Mikasa’s deciding my living situation for me onto the situation with the cat.” The last part came out all in a rush and it took Armin a minute to process what it meant.

“I’m sorry, that really was shitty of us,” Armin was proud of how sincere he sounded given it was the middle of the night, “I was an asshole, you were an asshole, I can forgive you if you can forgive me?”

Eren seemed to sigh in relief, “Sounds good to me.”

Armin offered his hand to shake, and then snuggled back into his covers. He waited another minute before cracking his eyes back open, “Did you still need something?”

“Just… Do you want to cuddle?” Eren was definitely blushing. Armin didn’t even need to see his face at this point, that was just Eren’s blushing tone of voice. He scooted over obligingly anyway.

“You do know this is why people think we’re dating, right?”

Eren just snuggled closer, “Yeah, well, if people can’t understand our love I don’t want them in my life anyway.”

“I know,” Armin smiled and closed his eyes again, “What’s up with all your emotional honesty lately?”

Eren mumbled something, and Armin had to kick him before he sighed and repeated it louder, “My therapist suggested it.”

“Ah, right, they do that sort of thing,” Armin had dim recollections of people telling him that reducing stress in his life could help with his panic attacks. 

“It is helping with the whole anger thing, though,” Eren conceded.

“I’ve noticed.”

Pulling the covers back up, Armin snuggled back into Eren and let himself fall asleep, everything seeming right with the world once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (There is officially no consistency in chapter length and also no reason to make this a separate chapter from the last chapter. I just thought it stood better on its own. Incidentally, there's another chapter I'll be doing that with in a second.)


	6. I'm obsessed with passing the Bechdel test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa and Annie have UST. That's literally it. I just wanted to write Mikasa and Annie flirting or whatever I don't even feel sorry about it.

Annie Leonhardt showed up at the gym at exactly 10:13 AM. Coincidentally (or really not, at all) this coincided perfectly with when Mikasa Ackerman finished walking from the bus stop to the gym herself. Nodding a greeting to the other girl, Annie flashed her membership card and headed into the locker room. Breaking from pattern, Mikasa followed her in.

“Sup,” Annie said, wondering what had caused the change in routine.

“Just checking that your sparring with Eren doesn’t change the fact that we were on for a match today,” Mikasa said, tone even as always.

Annie scoffed a little, “Mika, I could beat your brother with one hand behind my back.”

“He’s not _that_ bad,” Mikasa tried to defend him.

“Nah, I’m just that good,” throwing her bag in the locker, Annie stood up from the bench, “Do you want to spar now, or after cardio?”

“After’s fine,” Mikasa lead the way out of the locker rooms.

* * *

 

Mikasa tapped her treadmill, and Annie slowed down to a walk and pulled an earphone out.

“You still haven’t told them yet, have you?” is all the other girl asked.

“Told them what?”

Mikasa just stared, until Annie sighed, “It hasn’t come up.”

Mikasa stared some more.

“Fine,” she conceded, “I’m hoping that Eren will cry when he finds out both of us are moving, and it’s far funnier to wait longer.”

Mikasa cracked a smile at that, “He’s already cried, you know.”

“And you didn’t take pictures for me?” Annie faked shock, “I’m hurt.”

“I’m sure you are,” the other girl got off her machine, “Ready to spar?”

“Whenever you are,” Annie bared her teeth, “And now that I’ve found out you kept Eren’s tears from me it’s personal.”

“It’s always personal for me,” Mikasa remarked, before going to fetch her safety gear.

Annie refused to run after the other girl, so it was once again in the locker room that Mikasa confronted her, “Do you even know where you’re going to live when we get there?”

A shrug was the only response Annie wanted to give, but she figured words might be useful as well, “Was planning on crashing with you, actually.”

“And you were going to tell me when?”

“Was just going to follow you around until you figured it out,” Annie smiled, every tooth showing.

“You are so weird,” Mikasa’s voice was muffled, her head turned down as she fastened her shin guards, but Annie swore there was a smile in there.

“Says the girl who wears scarves in the middle of summer.”

“Scarf.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Oh, you’ll be saying plenty of what I want when I have you pinned to the floor,” Mikasa’s face brightened, and Annie felt the adrenaline at the prospect of a good match herself.

“That a promise?” she smirked.

Mikasa just full on grins, and Annie has to fight from returning the expression. They make their way to the mats, and Annie felt all of the tension in her body bleed away as she stretches, ready to do what she loves best. The entire world began to focus down, her attention narrowing in scope until everything became Mikasa’s movements. Judging what she’d going to do next, and how best to counter it. They met on the mat, bowed to each other, and Annie cracked her knuckles, her smile finally matching the other girl’s.

* * *

 

Mikasa is almost beaten when Eren interrupted their fight by clearing his throat, “Weren’t you supposed to be fighting me?”

Annie sighed and stood, offering her hand to help the other girl off the floor, “Jealous?”

“Nah, it just doesn’t seem fair that you’ll already be tired,” Eren was as full of smug bravado as always. Annie contemplated it.

“You guys fight differently anyway. Mikasa is entirely about speed whereas you’re just brute force of will,” she stretched anyway, only to be caught off guard by Mikasa shooting her a smirk filled with the victory Annie had thought herself assured of.

“Annie’s moving to D.C with me,” she informed her brother, and Annie cursed, glaring at Mikasa. She’d been so focused on the staring contest that ensued she completely missed Eren’s reaction, but his clearing his throat once again brought her back.

She turned back towards him, her brain beginning to put together how to exact the perfect revenge.

Eren paled, realizing that he was officially in the crossfire.

“Ready to fight?” Annie just smirked at him.

“Of course!” he shook his head, and set his shoulders in a firmer posture, “Bring it on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If people don't actually mind shorter chapters, please tell me in the comments! Personally I prefer longer chapters, but I'm also aware that I wrote this all in smaller fragments which might make the long sections choppier? But seriously, I'm posting this for YOUR enjoyment, so please give me whatever feedback you have!


	7. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote all of this a year ago and was startled when I went to edit it. Eren bleeds and then we have a classic towel scene and cat flirting?

Jean had really meant to get some work done today. He’d even woken up bright and early, hoping he could finish up the project due this week so he could start on the next big programming job he had in the works. That one was going to be big. Some sort of combination simulation game and dating site? He hadn’t had time to look at the information packet his employers had sent him yet, but if it took off they’d promised him untold riches, which, sure, sounded cheesy, but he believed them. If they could actually manage to get this thing past the ground stages, UBS was going to revolutionize the world.

As a bonus, he now got paid to hang out on dating sites because it counted as “research”. He probably wasn’t going to get paid for going on dates or getting laid, but he still counted it as a win.

Unfortunately, that would all still have to wait until he finished correcting the crap of code that WD had sent on over, and considering how poor the original writer was at commenting, that was still going to take another couple of days. But that was fine, he loved his job! Which... was why he had spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon playing with a kitten instead of doing any real work.

No one could really blame him for slacking off on the weekend, he reasoned, once again glancing away from the computer on his counter and ignoring the smidgen of guilt in his stomach.

He was saved by the bell, or rather, by someone knocking on his door. Quickly moving Fizzles into his bedroom, and brushing what cat hair he could off of himself, he went to see who it was.

Eren was dripping blood on his doorstep.

“Holy shit!” Jean forgot all about his job and cat, and quickly pulled the other man into the room, “Are you okay? What happened?”

Eren blinked at him, “What? Oh, nothing. I was just sparring with Annie and she was trying to get revenge on Mikasa.”

“By beating up you?”

“To be fair it was probably more effective than beating up Mikasa would have been,” Eren stifled a yawn, “I’m just here to see the cat though. Figured I’ve earned it with my sweat and blood,” he flashed a crooked grin at Jean that did little to assuage his fears.

“You are doing nothing of the sort until you’re cleaned up,” Jean said, putting his foot down, “I am not having our cat develop more of a taste for blood than he already has.”

Eren opened his mouth, most likely to protest, before closing it and shrugging, “Okay, fine, yeah. Do you have a shower and bandages I can use?”

Jean looked at him, “You literally live right next door to here.”

“If Armin sees me looking like this he’s going to give me a long lecture about how he told me so, and haven’t I suffered enough today?” Eren’s eyes grew wide and pleading, and Jean could feel his resistance crumbling.

“Whatever, towels are in the cabinet over the toilet, the first aid kit is under the sink, and try not to bleed out on my carpet anymore than you have,” he said, sighing and leaving Eren to go heat up a lasagna. He’d maybe forgotten to eat lunch while playing with Fizzles.

Once the lasagna was in the oven, Eren firmly in the bathroom, and Jean had scrubbed the drops of blood off the floor, he went and got Fizzles back out again. The cat was sitting right next to the door, and giving Jean a look to let him know that he was on very thin ice for thinking he could just abandon him like that. Jean just rolled his eyes and picked him up, amazed at how much he’d grown, and set him down on the kitchen counter. He’d just begun their routine of “Jean tries to pat Fizzles’ head, Fizzles gets irritated, Fizzles attacks Jean” when he heard the bathroom door creak open. Turning around he was met by the sight of Eren standing there in nothing but a towel, and some bandages around his split knuckles.

“Uuuummmmmm,” Jean found himself at a lack of words, both his brain and mouth no longer working properly.

“Do you have any spare clothes?” Eren asked, apparently having no shame about wandering around mostly naked in another man’s apartment.

“Right,” Jean gulped, “Just give me a minute,” he spared a second to move Fizzles onto the safer ground level, and then hurried into his bedroom where he found a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Was it weird to wear someone else’s boxers? Shit, probably.

He came back out to see Eren sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with their cat. He found his brain lacking its basic functions again, and shoved the bundle of clothing at Eren, waiting until he’d disappeared into the bathroom again to change before settling down on the ground himself.

“Shit,” he breathed, too shocked by that whole exchange to even care that Fizzles was once again treating him like a jungle gym and just clawing his way up his being.

Eren bent over laughing when he came out to see Fizzles sitting on Jean’s head, and Jean just glared at the now thankfully shirted man, “Like you’re any better at denying this cat what he wants.”

“Psh, I’m an excellent parent,” Eren said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, “I only feed him twice a day!”

“Twice?” Jean wrinkled his brow, “But I feed him twice, and he definitely shouldn’t be eating more than that!”

Eren just scowled a little, “You try ignoring him when he starts whining for food.”

Jean scoffed, “Like I said, you’re totally defenseless in the face of this cat.”

“I just don’t want Levi to hear and come investigate!” Eren snatched Fizzles from atop Jean’s head, and lifted the cat to eye level, “Isn’t that right Chester?”

Fizzles just batted at his face and then leapt from his hands, making it Jean’s turn to laugh at the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness, I'm so sorry about the fact that I never update this. Like... it's terrible because it's all written, but it's just written fairly poorly and I'm too ashamed to post it without editing it? But then I look and see that people have actually subscribed to this fic (what??????) and feel such guilt there too and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... anyway, someone left kudos again today so here is your regular (lol) guilt update. I'm gonna go grab some snacks or something to sustain me through editing more of this fic, and then maybe there will be more updates again? We're going with baby updates until my life is together (once again, lol). So umm.... Thank you to everyone sticking with this fic and me being the kind of fic writer whose fic I would never read because I am a terrible updater. I just, thank you to you cause you ended up reading this note, so you probably read what was up above also and aaaaaah ok I'm gonna go get ready for the day now. (Also Owl City just released a new album so chapter titles will once again be stolen from him though also lololololololol why did he do a country song????)


	8. Unbelievable (ft. OKCupid)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Armin is evil, Eren makes some choices, and more classic rom com shenanigans arise.

Armin could vouch that Eren made it all the way to the airport without getting over emotional. He managed to help Mikasa unload the stuff she hadn’t shipped ahead, punched Annie in the shoulder, and showed them both off to their gate before turning to Armin, and bursting into tears.

“There, there,” Armin awkwardly patted his arm, “Do you think we can make it to the car before you ruin my shirt?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eren sniffed, “I am completely composed right now.”

“Of course,” Armin smiled a little, “Now let’s get you home, Completely Composed.”

“Did you just make a dad joke at me?” Eren glared at his friend, the effort completely ruined by his eyes brimming with tears, “You totally did! Why are none of my friends sensitive to my pain?”

Armin just rolled his eyes and tugged his friend back to the parking lot, “Just give me the keys, dumbass.”

Eren held his hand protectively over his pocket, “I don’t think I want to.”

“I’ll stop at the liquor store on the way home.”

“Deal,” Eren hopped into the passenger seat, “But only if we get Fireball.”

* * *

 

Armin regretted ever purchasing Eren alcohol. He didn’t know how he always forgot that getting Eren drunk didn’t distract him from his woes at all, in fact, it really just seemed to make everything worse for his friend.

“I just… I’m so alone,” Eren cried into his now empty cup, “Not to say that I don’t value our friendship,” he looked up at Armin, and reached for a hug that Armin barely escaped, “Because you’re the best… the best buddy I could ever have.”

Armin awkwardly patted his head, “You too.” It was really unfortunate that someone needed to be responsible and make sure Eren didn’t do anything extraordinarily stupid, because Armin really would have preferred being drunker for this.

“But Mikasa left me! And Annie… Annie left me to be with Mikasa and now who am I going to spar with?” he looked at his friend desperately before shaking his hand, “I can’t let you do it, and if I fight with Jean who’s going to take care of Chester?”

Armin tried to take the bottle of alcohol away before Eren could mix himself another drink, but was batted away once again, “You’re going to regret this so much in the morning,” he warned his friend.

“Pshhhhhhhh,” Eren’s saliva spewed a little and Armin had to dodge, wondering what he’d done in a past life to deserve this.

“Eren, I really don’t think you need more alcohol right now.”

“No you’re… you’re right,” Eren set his cup back down, “What I need isn’t alcohol… It’s a boyfriend!”

“Oh my god, no, Eren what are you doing!” Armin failed to keep his friend from grabbing his laptop, but did at least save the cup from spilling, and moved both it and the nearly empty bottle of whiskey into the kitchen.

“Don’t worry, Armin,” Eren was typing away at something, “You always worry too much. You’re going to get worry lines, you know,” he turned his head to nod sagely at his friend, and almost fell over.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Armin went and sat by his friend, “…OKCupid?!?”

“Shhhhhhhh,” Eren tried to put his finger to Armin’s lips but Armin ducked, ending up with Eren’s arm around his shoulders instead, “I’m just putting myself out there. Making new friends. I thought you liked me making new friends.”

“Eren, should you really be doing this when you’re drunk?”

Eren giggled, “Do you think I’d do this sober?”

“That’s my point!” Armin knocked Eren’s hands off his shoulder.

“No, that’s my point. Now… Is sex or love more important to me in a relationship?”

“Shouldn’t you be the one answering this?” Armin sighed as his friend kept pressing buttons, “Just hand me the computer, your hand-eye coordination has gone to shit.”

“You’re the best, Armin,” Eren said, relinquishing the computer and leaning on his friend, “You won’t leave me, right?”

“No,” Armin sighed, “I’m not going anywhere. Alright, how important do you think astrological signs are?”

“Veeeeeeery,” Eren fell over giggling, and Armin hoisted his friend back up.

“Alright, we’ll get to this section later then. What would you say you like?”

“Cats,” Eren stated more firmly, “Cats and people who don’t leave.”

“We’ll just leave it at cats then,” Armin said, typing in a couple of TV shows that Eren wouldn’t shut up about either, “things you dislike?”

“Assholes,” Eren said, “Assholes and zucchini.”

“That might give people the wrong impression, but it’s your profile,” Armin sighed and put it in.

“What are you looking for?”

“Company,” Eren turned his face into Armin’s shirt and started crying again, “I’m so alone, Armin.”

“I know,” Armin said patting his friend awkwardly, “I know.”

He was never going to buy Eren alcohol again.

* * *

Two hours later, Eren had sobered up enough that he'd actually managed to fill out an OKCupid profile, but not enough to rethink the idea, apparently. Armin just let it happen, maybe Eren would meet the love of his life, and who was he to stop that? But once that was complete, he manhandled Eren up and got him into bed.

“Armin,” Eren grabbed at his friends shirt, “Will you sleep with me again tonight?”

“No,” Armin detached the hand holding him.

“Why not?” Eren blinked foggily at his friend.

“Because you’re not going to remember this in the morning, but you are going to puke,” Armin managed to make it to the doorway, “And I would really rather you didn’t do so on me,” he turned off the lights and returned to his own room, letting the loneliness of two of his best friends leaving finally hit him as well.

* * *

 

Eren woke up when the sun shining in his eyes could be ignored no longer.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck,” he groaned, trying to block the light out with his pillow, and praying he could get back to sleep. The splitting headache that pierced his skull seemed opposed to that idea, so he eventually groaned, and got out of bed so he could stumble into the kitchen.

Of course Armin was making a smoothie. When the blender had finally turned off Eren pulled his head off of the counter and glared, “Why does the whole world hate me?”

“Morning, Lover Boy,” Armin smirked as he poured his smoothie into a cup, apparently taking pity on his friend as he then poured the remaining into another cup and pushed it on over.

“I love you,” Eren sighed as he downed the smoothie, filling the cup up with water once it was empty, “Wait, why did you call me that?”

“Don’t you remember?” Armin batted his eyelashes at Eren.

“What the fuck,” Eren tried to scrounge through his memory, wondering if… “I didn’t like, try to kiss you or anything?”

Armin stared at him with his eyes wide for a whole minute before he burst out laughing, “Oh god no,” he said, barely coherent, finally managing to breathe again and standing up straight again, “We’d be having an entirely different conversation if that had happened.”

“Oh my god, Armin,” Eren looked torn between amusement and anger, “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“You sorta deserved it,” Armin wiped the remaining tears from his eyes, and finally got his breathing back to normal, taking a sip from his smoothie, “I mean, you not only drank most of the alcohol, which, might I remind you, I bought, you also got so drunk I felt a moral imperative not to get drunk myself. And you’re not the only one whose friends left.”

“Shit, sorry,” Eren felt even more miserable than when he’d first woken up with his hangover, and scrubbed at his forehead.

“Whatever,” Armin shrugged, “I sorta got over the fact you have protagonist syndrome long ago. I wouldn’t still be your best friend if I wasn’t used to it.”

“Protagonist syndrome?” Eren echoed, wrinkling his brow.

“It’s just…” Armin stared at the ficus, trying to figure out how to phrase it, “You know those people in life who everyone just sort of likes? So they get away with being a little more self centered than everyone else? It’s how protagonists in books always behave, so I call it protagonist syndrome,” he smiled sardonically at his friend, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it too much, this isn’t really a hangover conversation.”

“Oh,” Eren looked a little lost for words, “Okay then. Do you want to go back to the ‘Lover Boy’ conversation then?”

Armin started laughing a little again at that, “Oh, right. Yeah, you sort of decided while drunk that the correct response to your sister leaving town was to get a date, which is actually… Kind of creepy, dude. Anything you want to tell me? Promise not to judge.”

“Groooss,” Eren tried to shove at his friend’s shoulder, “It’s not even that she’s my sister it’s also that I’ve had her dirty socks in my face like a hundred times. Wait- how did I get a date?”

“Well you haven’t yet as far as I know,” Armin shrugged again, “You just signed up for an OKCupid account.”

“Shit!” Eren scrambled for the laptop, “I don’t even want to know how drunk me answered any profile questions!”

“You didn’t do so bad,” Armin followed his friend to the computer, “I tried to keep you from embarrassing yourself too much. Except for your username. That’s apparently not really changeable so… you’re stuck with Tight and Eager.”

“WHAT,” Eren turned from where he was trying to guess his password to look at his friend, “WHAT?”

“You thought it was really funny,” Armin stole the keyboard and typed in the correct details, “Like, you kept laughing about Titans? I was confused because your thesis has nothing to do with mythology, and then Eager was a pun with your last name it was… Not your best work, I’ll agree, but drunk you thought that TitanJaeger was too obvious and Tight And Eager was a much subtler name.”

“Subtler,” Eren thunked his head on the desk again.

“It’s not usually something you’re concerned with, I’ll agree,” Armin ignored Eren sticking his tongue out at him, “Oh look! You got a message anyway!”

“I don’t want to see it,” Eren tried to back away from the computer, but Armin crowded him in, “Can’t I just delete the whole account and pretend this didn’t happen.”

“No,” Armin stole the mouse and clicked the message icon, “This is how you’re repaying me for last night.”

“I take it back,” Eren let his head thunk back onto the desk, “I don’t love you. I hate you. You’re evil.”

Armin just laughed and patted his friends shoulder, before turning towards the computer, “Oh my god,” he breathed, before actually dissolving into giggles.

“What?” Eren sat up, “What is… Oh my god tell me it isn’t.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure it is,” Armin was now cackling with glee, “The name itself is a little mystifying, but then the profile picture…”

Eren stared in horror at the username, GoldenPonyboy, next to it a picture of Jean cuddling with Fizzles, and then the text beside it, “Hey! I’m fairly new to this, and to be honest your username totally sucks, but OKCupid said we were 95% compatible, so I figured I should send you a message anyway….”

He let his head thunk back onto the desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lolololol sorry for two updates in one day and also for becoming the type of person who types 'lolololol' unironically. Uh... I actually am going to go shower now but will probably update more again later? So sorry if this means your inbox is getting spammed, I'm just finally on a roll after like, 9 months (I've given birth to ridiculously cheesy fic!!!) and finishing this project would make my life feel much more organized. Maybe I should also fold my laundry while I'm at it?


	9. Verge

* * *

Eren hadn’t come over to watch Fizzles, even though Jean definitely had it marked down on his schedule that he should have arrived… half an hour ago, now.

Grumpy, he shoved his slippers onto his feet, and, not bothering to lock his door, stomped over and knocked on the Eren/Armin residence’s door. Unfortunately, it was Armin who opened the door, so Jean couldn’t vent his rage just yet. Even more mysteriously, Armin laughed as soon as he saw who it was.

“Ummm….” Jean checked to make sure that he hadn’t messed up the buttons on his shirt.

“Hi Jean,” Armin choked out, and then managed to regain his composure, “Or should I call you… GoldenPonyboy?”

Jean felt his face turn bright red and knew there was nothing he could do to stop it, “I… That wasn’t me!”

“Really? Because it sure looked like you,” Armin had stopped laughing but the shit eating grin on his face revealed the fact that he was probably going to start up again any second.

“I mean… it’s my profile, but it’s for work okay?” Jean stopped staring at a spot on the wall behind Armin and moved his gaze to the blond instead, “And Connie made the account for me anyway, because he thinks he’s so hilarious.”

“Whatever you say, dude,” Armin started laughing again.

“Ugh, just shut up,” Jean decided he was done with this topic, “I’m only here because Eren was supposed to come over half an hour ago.”

This just seemed to set Armin off again, and it took another minute before he could stop laughing long enough to form a coherent sentence, “Sorry, it’s just that Eren is avoiding you right now.”

“Because…” Jean tried to think if he’d done anything to piss of the other man lately. Well, more than usual anyway.

“Because he’s Tight And Eager,” Armin bent over laughing again and Jean stared in horror. That name was standing out in his memory somehow because… oh right, it was the awful name attached to that profile he’d sent a message to. The one where the profile picture was just a headless picture with enough muscles that he’d begun questioning his assumptions about being straight, and because he was a little tipsy and the rest of the profile looked okay he’d… hit on his neighbor, worst enemy, and co-cat dad all at once. Oooooooh fuck.

“Right,” Jean swallowed, “Well, I’m just going to head out in the next five minutes, but I’ll leave my door unlocked, so if he could come watch our cat that would be good. I just… I mean…” He nearly bit his tongue in an attempt to pretend this wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen to him, “I’d be embarrassed to show my face if that was my username as well?”

Armin just started laughing again, “In his defense he was really drunk, but I’ll let him know.”

Jean contemplated his neighbor, who was leaning against the doorframe to hold himself up, and sighed, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of evil, dude?”

“Every day,” Armin wiped his face of tears, “Every single day.”

“I’ll just be off then,” Jean let himself back into his apartment and let his head thunk against the wall, “Shiiiit.”

Hurriedly, he pulled on his shoes and jacket, and grabbing his keys just in case, left the apartment building as quickly as possible.

* * *

 

Jean made it to the diner in record time, biking faster than he knew he could, hoping that the further the apartment was from him the further the embarrassment would be as well.

It didn’t work.

Luckily Marco was there, because the prospect of explaining things to Sasha or, god forbid, Connie, was a daunting one. They would probably laugh even more than Armin had. Ymir wouldn’t even care, and Jean had the sneaking suspicion that while Krista would be outwardly sympathetic, on the inside she’d be laughing harder than any of the others.

Marco, on the other hand, was an angel. An angel who was currently patting Jean on the shoulder while Jean repeatedly banged his head onto the table.

“Milkshakes are here!” Sasha chirped, and set them down on the table, before looking closer at the scene, “Gosh darn it, Jean, are you having drama again? Why couldn’t you have done it on a day when we were less busy!”

Jean glared up at her through his hands, “Why, so you can take joy in my pain again?”

“Only if that’s appropriate,” Sasha dusted her hands on her apron, “I’d also have the time to go beat up whoever hurt you.”

Jean gaped after her as Marco just slurped upon his milkshake, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on yet?”

“But- she just- I mean-” Jean found it difficult to stop staring at where Sasha had gone to serve another table.

“Yes, your friends care about you, it’s very shocking,” Marco set his glass down on the table, “Now as one of those friends who cares about you will you please tell me what’s happening?”

“It’s stupid,” Jean shoved a straw into his mouth to stop the words spilling out.

“If it’s making you upset it’s not stupid,” Marco took another sip of his milkshake.

“This is why you’re my favorite,” Jean managed to keep from tearing up, “But… okay, fine. You know how I have to do research for my new job? And so Connie set up an OKCupid account for me?”

Marco tried to tamper down a smile, and Jean felt a little suspicious of how close to a smirk it looked.

“Oh just shut up,” he said, “Look, last night I was searching around on the site, trying to figure out how it all worked and I found a profile they said matched mine really well but they were obviously wrong.”

Marco looked genuinely worried, and moved his milkshake aside, “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I mean, besides embarrassed for life, yeah,” Jean dragged his eyes up to meet his friends, “the profile was Eren’s.”

“And?” Marco started tearing up the straw wrapper in front of him.

“And what?” Jean blinked, “Is my accidentally asking my neighbor out not enough for you? Aren’t you the one that said I should be suspicious of him in the first place?”

“I thought you said you were getting along now!” Marco dragged his milkshake back to him, and started drinking it again, “I take back what I said earlier, this is far stupider than your usual issues.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not still an annoying asshole!” Jean just barely resisted throwing his hands in the air, “And in no universe would I want to date him!”

“Is this because he’s a guy then?” Marco’s mouth bunched into a frown, “Why’d you even message him then?”

“It’s not that he’s a guy,” Jean hissed, “It’s that he’s Eren. I mean, I guess I freaked out a little bit about sending a message to a guy, but even I can acknowledge that picture was sorta hot, and it was largely to see if the OKCupid algorithms had any substance behind them, and just…”

“Just?” Marco raised a brow.

“Just… I can’t think Eren is hot!” Jean wrinkled his brow, “I mean, he’s a loser with no job and no sense of boundaries, and he’s just a massive asshole and the only good thing about him is that he likes my- our cat, but he even calls him by the wrong name!”

“I can see you’ve thought a lot about this.”

“Oh shut up!” Jean’s voice was back from a hiss and was starting to attract attention, so he took a couple breaths to calm down, “You don’t even know him you don’t get to judge.”

“Know who?” Krista took this moment to appear by their table, and Jean almost knocked his glass over in surprise.

“The mysterious Eren,” Marco remained calm as he took another sip of his milkshake, and Jean glared at him. This was not the sympathetic friendship he’d signed up for.

“Ooh! The kitten daddy!” Krista clapped her hands a little bit, “I want to meet him!”

“No,” Jean said, doing what he could to derail this conversation before it got too far, “Absolutely not. None of you are meeting Eren.”

“Why not?” Krista asked.

“Because…” Jean floundered a little for an answer, and Marco interrupted him before he could finish the thought.

“Because Jean is being an idiot again.”

“Hey!” Jean stole the rest of Marco’s milkshake and started drinking both of them at once, as fast as he could.

“Oh, don’t even deny it.”

“Well I definitely want to meet him now,” Krista decided, “and I’m pretty sure that goes for basically all of our friends as well. Ooh! What if we go rollerskating?”

“What?” Jean said, just barely finished with the milkshakes.

“Rollerskating! I know the guy who owns the place, and it’s family friendly so Marco can bring Hitch and Marlow, and it’s open later than the diner so the rest of us can make it all at once as well!”

“I still don’t see how you’re going to get Eren to be there,” Jean wiped his mouth and glared at the blonde. He’d assumed she’d at least _pretend_ to be on his side.

“Marco, you can give Jean a ride home, right?” Krista didn’t even pretend to include Jean in her diabolical planning session, “Then you can invite Eren. Also Armin, because we’ve been hearing stories about him for far too long to not to meet him as well!”

“Sure,” Marco shrugged, and grabbed their now empty cups, “I’ll just bus these and then we can head out.”

“I hate you all,” Jean debated trying to make a break for it, but decided it wasn’t really worth the effort.

“Sure you do,” Krista said, and then had the nerve to actually pinch his cheek before leaving with a wink.

* * *

 

Jean stared out the window the entire ride back to his apartment. Sure, his legs were already burning and he knew they would thank him in the morning for not refusing an actual car ride, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still mad at Marco. Eventually though, he did remember he was supposed to be an adult, and turned back to face his friend.

“Does this mean you’ll let me meet your kitten?” Marco asked, eyes still on the road, knee only barely bouncing.

Jean brightened, “Oh! Right! Yes!”

“Good,” the car pulled into the parking lot, and Jean jumped out and grabbed his bike from the trunk bed.

“Need any help with that?” Marco called, and at Jean’s head shake, headed up towards the stairs.

* * *

Jean finished bolting his bike, and suddenly realized that Marco had just headed up alone to an apartment where Eren was watching Fizzles, and also didn’t expect anyone back for a couple hours at least.

“Shit,” he dashed up the stairs and skidded to a stop outside his door, pausing to listen and assess the damage inside. He tilted his head to try and hear better, and heard the faint sound of… laughter?

Testing the lock and finding it open, Jean let himself into his house and the thankful sight of Marco sitting on the floor with Fizzles on his head while Eren doubled over in laughter. He coughed, not used to feeling like an intruder in his own home.

“Jean, I can’t believe you kept me away from your cat for this long,” Marco said, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that the cat in question was hanging off his head by a combination of sheer will and horrifying claws.

“Were you hiding our cat?” Eren managed to stop laughing long enough to fake a gasp, “Are you ashamed of our little arrangement? Come on, Jean, I already introduced him to my side of the family!”

“Maybe I should switch to being your friend then,” Marco smiled at where Eren was just holding back laughter.

“Yeah, you seem too nice to be friends with Jean anyway,” Eren said, dissolving into laughter again as Fizzles attempted to catch something in the light, and promptly fell off Marco’s head.

“I hate you both,” Jean kicked his shoes off and went to get a glass of water.

“Oh!” Marco tried to pick up Fizzles again, seeming unbothered by the cat’s hissing, “That reminds me! Eren are you free Saturday night?”

“Nothing I can’t rearrange,” Eren cautiously reached out to pet Fizzles, who let some of the tension out of his shoulders at the touch.

“Do you know about Armin’s schedule?”

“And here I thought you were going to ask me on a date!” Eren’s eyes darted over at Jean, before he quickly returned his attention rather forcibly to Marco, “Sorry, I mean, he should be free, but I can double check if you want.” He pulled his phone out and seemed unnecessarily concentrated on typing something into it.

Marco cleared his throat a little, dissipating the awkward air that had descended into the room, “Okay, good, because the rest of our friends were hoping you guys could come roller skating with us,” he tilted his head towards Jean as if to indicate the ‘our’ in question, and Jean rolled his eyes.

“Sounds fun!” Eren suddenly scrunched his face up, “But would that mean leaving Chester alone for the night?”

Marco sighed, “Please don’t ever become actual parents,” when both of them tried to make noises of protest he just kept talking anyway, “The cat is how old now? Couple months? You can leave him alone for a night.”

“Jean’s a worrier,” Eren said, pointing at Jean as Jean pointed at him and stated, “It’s Eren’s fault.”

Marco just pinched the bridge of his nose, “Whatever you say,” he said, not actually looking at either one of them, “Well Eren, it was nice meeting you, but I’ve got to get back to work now. Not all of us can be slackers like Jean,” he stuck his tongue out as he pulled to his feet and attempted to pet the cat one last time.

Surprisingly Fizzles let him, and even began to rub himself on Marco’s legs a little bit. Jean pulled himself away from the sight, and defended his honor, “It’s not like Eren’s any better than me.”

“Actually,” Eren put his hands on his hips and Jean struggled not to laugh, “Not all of us turn into piles of goo when we look at Fizzles, so I’ve basically been working on my thesis every time I’m over here.”

Jean blinked, “Oh.”

Marco coughed, and jingled his keys, “Bye guys!”

“Bye Marco!” Eren replied.

Jean just glared. While Marco might be mostly forgiven, that was only a mostly.

As the door clicked shut behind him the room turned to terse silence. Jean really hoped they would never ever discuss the whole OKCupid thing, so as Eren began to open his mouth, he quickly interrupted, “So what’s your thesis on?”

Eren seemed a little caught off guard, “Chaos theory.”

“That sounds about right,” Jean snorted.

“Oh shut up,” Eren might actually be blushing now, “It’s not a study in my klutziness or anything like that, it’s a field of mathematics. You know, the Lorenz Butterfly, stuff like that.”

Jean blinked again, “I think my differential equations professor mentioned that once?” he hazarded a guess.

“Probably,” Eren was staring a little to the left of Jean’s head and was definitely blushing, “It’s partly about how very small changes in initial conditions can lead to wildly different results, and differential equations try to model things like that, so…” he trailed off, apparently realizing from Jean’s blank stare that he’d gone a little over his head.

“Sounds cool,” Jean coughed and ran a hand through his hair. _Wow, yeah, cool, that’s your very definition right now, isn’t it, Jean._

“I guess,” Eren attempted eye contact again, “you do computer science stuff, right? Isn’t that sort of related to math?”

“I’m more on the visual side of things,” Jean shrugged, “I focus more on web design than computationally intense things.”

“That’s cool too,” Eren seemed at a loss of what else to say, but Fizzles began to meow at that moment, and both of them jumped.

Jean rushed around the counter and stared at the kitten, “Is he okay? Did you step on him or something? Why-”

Eren actually laughed, “Nah, he’s totally fine, I just forgot that I usually feed him at this time. I’ll just do that and get out of your hair.”

Jean was tempted to tell him he didn’t have to, but as Eren got out a scoop of cat food and then grabbed his bag, he found that he couldn’t find any words to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too bad Marco is supposed to be nice or else we could have referenced one of my favorite movies:  
> "This may seem like a really stupid question..."  
> "There *are* no stupid questions."  
> "You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they're going to blow it up in 2 days. What do you do?"  
> "That's the stupidest question I've ever heard."  
> Also: this is incredible! I managed to keep one character the focus of 2500+ words! Wow!


	10. Take It All Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat is discovered!

They made it two days having short, stinted interactions. Jean rushing off as soon as Eren appears, and Eren seemingly on board to do the same thing when Jean returns. They seem to have reached an unspoken agreement that, no matter what Marco said about them being overprotective, they wouldn’t leave Fizzles McChester to make his own way until absolutely necessary. Even if the cat wasn’t likely to accidentally injure himself, or destroy the apartment, the danger of Levi hadn’t passed, despite both of them breathing a little easier about it all in general.

Which is why it came as a surprise when, on a morning that appeared like any other, Hanji bounced up the stairs and remarked upon Eren appearing just as Jean was leaving.

“Oooh!” they said, “A meeting in the hallway! And… Flushed cheeks? I haven’t even met the new tenant but he seems to be doing just fine with his neighbors,” they eyed Eren up and down.

“What? No!” Jean’s cheeks, flushed more than they had already, “Eren was just… just…” he glanced over at Eren and then quickly glanced away again.

“Eren, you said?” Hanji turned to where he was standing and offered their hand, “I’m Hanji Zo, it’s nice to meet you!”

“Eren Jaeger,” he shook firmly and avoided looking at Jean, “Which apartment are you in?”

“Oh, I don’t really live here, I’m just friends with Levi so happen to be around a lot,” they winked.

Jean and Eren both gulped at the mention of Levi’s name, and unfortunately for them, Hanji zoomed in on that action.

“Levi doesn’t still have weird rules about his tenants dating, does he? Because I talked to him about that,” their brow wrinkled a little, and then smoothened out, “No, that’s right, he stopped that nonsense once it became clear that Hannah and Franz would move out if he didn’t let them move in together. Now I just need to get him to get rid of his ridiculous pet policy…”

Jean and Eren officially won the worst-liars-ever award as both of them began stuttering at the same time, “That’s not so ridicu-“ and “Some people have serious allergi-“ both spoken at the same time became an incoherent mess.

As if on cue a cat meow came from beyond the door, and Hanji clapped their hands.

“Oh fuck,” Jean placed his head in his hands, and Eren’s face turned a sickly pale.

Hanji just contemplated them for a minute, “Well? Are you going to let me in?”

With a quick look at each other, Jean and Eren seemed to decide things couldn’t really get any worse and ushered her inside, Eren picking Fizzles up from where he’d sat next to the door, giving them a betrayed look for the indignity of leaving him alone for an entire 5 minutes.

Hanji held their hands out, and, biting his lip, Eren handed over the cat.

They contemplated him for a second, holding him up for observation before bringing him in to hold properly, “About two months old, male, probably raised without parents?” they asked.

“Um, probably,” Eren stared a little, “That agrees with what the vet said when I got him his shots, anyway.”

Jean remained where he’d been since they’d entered, slumped against the wall and running his hands through his hair and cursing under his breath. Hanji pat his shoulder, “Relax, Ponyboy, I’m not going to turn you in to Levi. That would be so much less fun than this will be!”

This didn’t seem to make Jean relax at all, but Hanji ignored it, moving into the living room instead. After a glance at each other, Eren and Jean trailed after.

“What are you going to do then?” Eren cleared his throat to ask.

“Not much, Eren Jaeger,” the gaze through their glasses was especially piercing, “I’m not actually sure why Jean didn’t bring me this lovely little bunch of fur when he found him. I am a veterinarian, it’s my job to deal with these sorts of things.”

Jean gulped but Eren was again the one to respond, “I’m the one who found him, actually. Jean just offered to take him in, which is how we got here, and…”

“I’m moving soon anyway!” Jean blurted out, finally adding to the conversation. The room turned silent, and Eren stared at Jean in shock. Hanji broke the silence with their laughter.

“I already told you I’m not going to turn you in,” their smile grew even wider than it had remained through the rest of their interaction.

“I mean, it’s not because of the cat,” Jean looked at the being in question, “It’s just that my current job will pay me enough anyway, and,” he shrugged, “there’s not any reason not to get an actual house? The extra space would be nice.”

Hanji pet Fizzles as they contemplated this, “Fair enough. I suppose I would rather not have to lie about this to Levi forever, he tends to catch on eventually. He probably wouldn’t be as angry as you think, though. For all his bark, his, err, bite isn’t really that tough.”

“He could still legally throw me out,” Jean grumbled.

“Well, now I’m on team… what’s your cat’s name?”

“Fizzles McChester,” Eren said, his gaze still wide and on Jean, missing Hanji’s pleased smile at the information.

“I’m on team Fizzles McChester, so just tell me if Levi tries anything,” they stopped petting the cat and set him down, and brushed off their hands, “Additionally, if any medical issues come up I expect you to call me,” a business card was quickly procured and tucked into Jean’s pocket.

“Why?” Eren finally tore his gaze away from Jean and looked at them.

“Call it an experiment,” Hanji winked, “Now I must be off.”

Eren watched the door close behind them and turned back to Jean, “What.”

“They’re always sort of like that.”

“They?”

Jean shrugged, “Agender.”

“Right!” Eren’s face turned pink again and Jean wondered when the last time it hadn’t been flushed around him was. Probably before the whole… thing he still refused to think about. He was broken out of his reverie as Eren continued, “Forgot Armin told me that.”

Jean just nodded, and fiddled the keys in his pocket, “Well, I was about to go, so…”

“Wait,” Eren held out a hand, “What was that about moving?” his gaze narrowed, trapping Jean more than the hand on his wrist did.

“I just…”

“Didn’t think to tell me even though it’s my cat involved?” Eren hissed, refraining from yelling only because of the too recent reminder that they were still keeping a secret.

“Can we not talk about this?” Jean snapped back.

“Fine, why does everyone call you Ponyboy then?” Eren’s gaze remained just as challenging and Jean cursed the opening he’d just given him.

“It’s stupid,” his face was set in a determined scowl, “Some people just think it’s funny to say I have a horseface.”

Eren turned his head a little, “Hm, they’re right.”

“What!” Jean jerked his hand away from Eren’s grip, “Wow, you’re really going to get along with all my friends tomorrow aren’t you.”

Eren just smirked.

Jean’s face most definitely didn’t flush, and he blurted the first thing that came to mind, “What do you mean people, anyway? Did Marco also say something?”

Now Eren was the one blushing, “Um, it was your…. GoldenPonyboy,” he explained.

“Oh,” Jean glanced around and fixed his gaze on Fizzles, “Um, yeah, about that…” his hand scratched the back of his neck, “That was just for research, so…”

“Yeah,” a glance showed that Eren was also now staring at the cat, “Armin told me that too.”

“Right,” Jean cleared his throat, “Well, I really should be going, so…”

“Bye!” Eren’s gaze flitted to Jean for a second before leaving again, “See you later I guess.”

“Yeah, later.” Jean shoved his hands in his pockets and determinedly did not look back as he left.

* * *

 

When Jean got back from… where ever it was that he went to go work, Eren grabbed his already packed bag and was out of the door almost instantly. When he stomped back into his own apartment, something on his face must have betrayed his mood, as Armin looked up from where he was making dinner to ask, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Eren tossed his bag onto the couch and then flopped onto it himself, crossing his arms, “Jean.”

“What’d you do this time?” Armin went back to his spatula-ing.

“Hey!” Eren turned away from staring at the wall to glare at his friend, “This one is not my fault at all!”

“Fine, what’d he do this time?”

“He’s… Ugh, he’s planning on moving,” Eren picked at the flap of his bag.

“Oh, cool. I know that he’s been wanting to move somewhere nicer for a while,” the stove started sizzling and he hurried to turn the heat down.

“How is that cool?” Eren was still glaring, “He’s going to move away. And take Fizzles with him, no doubt.”

Armin set down the frying pan, “Eren, the cat can’t really live here forever either. It’s probably better if he lives somewhere where he’s actually allowed to, be that with Jean or not.”

“He’s taking away my cat, Armin,” Eren said, arm flopping to rest on the back of the couch, shoulders still tense.

“He probably won’t move that far,” Armin shrugged and went back to his food preparation, “Despite your guys’ first impression he’s not actually that much of a jerk, you can probably visit. Plus, since we’re officially part of the friend group now, there probably won’t be any escaping it.”

Eren remained unmoved, “It’s still different.”

“I don’t get what your problem is, Eren.”

“It’s just different. While he’s still here I have to go over there to watch him, and if he moves I won’t have that.”

“Eren,” Armin sighed, “Fizzles, Chester, whatever, he’s sort of old enough at this point that he doesn’t really need you to watch him.”

“If Levi comes by-“

“Levi doesn’t really do that shit.”

“Jean’s on board with the whole thing,” Eren was definitely not sulking, no siree.

Armin rolled his eyes a little, “Yes, I know you guys have your system worked out.”

“There’s still a schedule pinned to his fridge,” Eren admitted, “The weirdo.”

“Whatever you say.”

“What was that?” Eren had stopped glaring at Armin, but he now whipped his head around again, “That was your indulgent tone of voice!”

“Mmmh.”

“You’re doing it again!” Eren jumped off the couch, “What do you know that I don’t?”

“Why would you think that, Eren?” Armin held his oven mitts in front of his chest, “I think you’re imagining things.”

“No- you’re- argh!” Eren was glaring again.

Armin doubled over laughing, “Oh my God, Eren, you’re pacing.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes,” Armin’s next words were incomprehensible in his laughter. Eren just stopped and glared, tapping his foot until Armin finally recovered enough to look at him again.

“Are you finished?”

“Probably not,” Armin chuckled again for good measure.

“Will you just tell me what you’re talking about?” Eren stopped tapping his foot when he realized Armin was staring at it determinedly and… his nose was twitching. His nose always twitched when he was trying not to laugh.

“Oh, it was nothing really,” Armin let the silence draw out, poking at the stir fry a little more before turning off the stove, “I just thought you sounded awfully fond of Jean, is all.”

Eren’s foot started tapping again, before he gave up and went to fidget in the kitchen area instead, “By which you mean…”

“Eren, you haven’t hung out this much with someone since… Well since, um,” Armin trailed off and Eren blinked, flinching away.

“It’s not like I really hang out with him,” he blurted, filling the silence, “I just hang out with Fizzles at his place a lot.”

Armin smirked again, and, when Eren elbowed him in the side, dropped the spatula and glared. Picking it up he sighed, “I just thought we were calling him Chester, is all.”

“Um.”

Armin laughed again, and Eren smiled.

“It’s not really a big deal,” Eren moved to get out the plates, “it’s just a name for some cat.”

“Some cat you’re freaking out about the possibility of leaving.”

Eren coughed, “Right. Well, do you want to get the soy sauce, or should I?”

“I can get it,” Armin sighed and moved to the fridge, “How’s your research going anyway?”

“Good!” Eren set utensils down on the table, “I finally got one of Lorenz’s more obscure articles from the library, and…”

Armin hummed along as the two finished dinner and cleared up, order and contentment once again alive and present in their apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone leaving kudos and comments, thank you! You are all so incredibly sweet and without you this would be sitting on google docs forever, switching tenses every sentence, and including such phrases as "pale pale".


	11. Good Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They... go roller skating?

Eren scowled at Jean as he laced up his rollerblades, “I still can’t believe you left our cat alone.”

“Actually,” Jean leaned closer, lowering his voice, “Don’t tell Marco, but I sorta left him with Hanji just to be safe.”

Eren squawked before covering his mouth, “You left him with a stranger?”

“Hanji’s not a stranger!” Jean hissed, “Besides, it’ll… Probably be fine.”

Eren just pushed himself to his feet, ignoring all wobbles, “It’s your head if you’re wrong.”

It was then that Eren found himself face to face with a short bald man and an overeager brunette, “You must be Eren!” the man said, as the woman frowned, “Is there trouble in paradise?”

“What?” Eren suddenly realized that keeping his balance on the skates was harder than it’d looked.

“Sorry, I’m Connie,” the man held out his hand.

“And I’m Sasha,” the woman held out hers, “We’re friends with Casanova here.”

“Umm…” Eren took their hands, and blinked at them.

“Ignore them,” Jean finished lacing his own skates and slid over to the group, “They think making fun of my new job is funny.”

“That’s because it probably is,” Eren side-eyed Jean.

“Oooh, I like you,” Sasha grabbed his arm, “Come with me, grasshopper, I’ll give you all his weak points.”

“Hey!” Jean called after them, but Connie grabbed his arm.

“Jean! I feel like I never see you anymore!”

“That’s because Ymir banned me from the kitch…” their voices trailed off behind them as Sasha pulled Eren to the rink.

He stumbled a little bit, righting himself at the last second, “Sorry, not used to these.”

“It’s fine,” she shot a dazzling smile at him, “I have to wear them for my job so I’m actually more likely to fall over when I’m not on wheels.”

“Oh yeah?” Eren asked, “Where do you work?”

“I work at the diner that Krista owns,” she nodded at where a shorter blonde woman was powering around the rink with another, taller, brunette, “most of us do actually. It’s got kind of a… 50s vibe? When I waitress I get to wear a poofy skirt and skates, anyway.”

Eren smiled, “I’ll have to check it out someday.”

“That would be excellent!” Sasha grabbed his hand again and pulled him to the rink, “You can make Jean bring you, or we’re just off Oak.”

“Cool. Oh, Armin!” he called, as his friend approached the wall where they were standing.

“Finally,” Armin rolled his eyes, “let’s roll.”

“You did not just-“

“I did. Hi!” he held his hand out to Sasha, “Armin Alert, I’m Jean’s neighbor and unfortunately Eren’s friend.”

“Are you,” another voice drawled, as Krista skated over to their group, “And I thought you were just here to usurp my position as the short and fair member of our group.” She smiled and held her hand out as well, which Armin took when Sasha had released him, “Krista,” she introduced herself, “And this is Ymir,” she smiled up at the taller woman when she got to where they were all crowded.

Armin laughed, “Well, no worries about usurpation necessary, I plan to get my growth spurt soon.”

Krista laughed and Ymir patted his head, “Good luck, Squirt.”

“Did you just?” Armin gaped at the freckled woman, who skated away and Armin gave pursuit.

“Sorry, she’s not socialized well,” Krista smiled and shook Eren’s hand.

“Neither is he, apparently.”

“Ymir’s not so bad!” Sasha shook her head at Krista, “She gave me a lollipop once and told me I’d done good work.”

Krista laughed, “She would.”

“So would you. Except you wouldn’t pat my head, ‘cause you’re not tall enough.”

“Hey!” Krista reconsidered for a second, “I’d also give you french fries instead!” She stuck her tongue out, before skating away, Sasha seeming to consider pursuit for a second before pulling Eren to the rink instead.

“So what is it that you do?” she asked.

“I’m working on a PhD,” he said, and then paused, “I’ve spent all day working on it though, so if you want to talk about something else I’d be far happier.”

“Sure,” she laughed, “I’ll just bug you for details next time.”

Eren stumbled a little, before spreading his arms out to right his balance, “Okay.”

“You have a cat?” she offered, after they’d gone about a quarter of the rink in silence.

“Fizzles! Yeah,” he frowned, “he’s how Jean and I know each other actually.”

“I heard something about a balcony?”

Eren flailed a little bit and fell over, Jean and Connie catching up to them as she helped him up.

“What did you do to him?” Jean glared at Sasha, “Don’t dent my neighbor!”

“Yeah that’s your job,” Connie grinned innocently when Jean turned on him instead.

“Nothing,” Eren glanced over at Sasha, “I’m just getting my skate legs.”

“Hmm,” Sasha contemplated him for a moment, “Well, I’m going to go request Barbie Girl now. It’s not really a skating experience till they play it, you know,” she winked, “C’mon Connie.”

“Awwww,” Connie grumbled, glancing at Jean and Eren, but took her hand and skated off with her anyway.

“Are they dating?” Eren asked Jean.

“I find it best not to ask,” Jean said, offering his own arm as Eren stumbled once again.

“I’m good.”

Jean snorted, “Actually, you’re kind of terrible. Have you never been skating before?”

“Hey!” Eren tried to shove at Jean, but was eluded, “Fine, got any tips?”

“Just give it a good push, and then try not to fall over as you let the momentum take you where you want to go,” he stuck his tongue out at Eren and then demonstrated.

Eren sighed, used one of his feet to push himself off more quickly, and ended up zooming towards Jean.

“Ha!” he said, as he approached the other at a fast speed, “Who’s bad at skating now-“

His words got cut off as he ran into Jean and toppled both of them to the ground.

“Ummm…” Jean stared at the ceiling, “I’m going to go with... you being bad at skating now.”

“Right,” Eren clambered back to his feet, “I’m going to go get some cotton candy,” he coughed and skated away from where Jean was still sprawled on the floor.

Jean stared after where Eren was skating away, and tried not to notice how well his pants fit him, and the warmth that had been right next to him a minute ago.

“Need a hand?” He looked up to see Ymir smirking down at him.

“I’m good,” he grumbled, pushing himself to his feet, trying to ignore the fact he was repeating what Eren had said earlier.

“He’s cute,” she offered, glancing at him as the two took off skating again.

“It’s just the lighting,” he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

“Ah, yes, I forgot how good we all look in UV.”

“They should try putting more UV lights in makeup stores.”

“I think that would actually lower sales,” she pointed out.

“Whatever,” they skated another couple seconds in silence, before he spoke again, “it’s just roller rinks, you know? There’s something about the atmosphere.”

“I do feel like whoever owns this place never left the 90s,” Ymir glanced at the neon lettering on the walls and disco ball hanging in the middle of the rink.

“Yeah, it’s just sort of a time warp,” he scratched the back of his neck, “It feels removed from reality.”

“You’re still going to be embarrassed tomorrow either way.”

“Hey!” He glared at her smirk, “I have nothing to be embarrassed about!”

She just smirked at him more before skating off as well.

“I hate all my friends,” he stared at where she was reunited with Krista.

“Even me?” a voice from his shoulder made him glance down and see Armin.

“Not you,” he shrugged, “Yet.”

Armin laughed, “I’ll try to not let you get to know me too well, then. Hey, did you see where Eren went?”

“I think he went to go get a snack. You gonna join him?”

Armin shrugged, “Might as well.”

“Mind if I join?” Jean tried to wipe his brain of any and all views he’d had earlier today.

“Not at all,” Armin smiled up at him and then skated to the exit, Jean following him to where Eren sat at a table tearing apart cotton candy.

“You’re going to get sick again,” the blond informed him.

“Thanks Mo-“ Eren’s face closed off and Jean skated in place for a minute before sitting down himself.

“Mind if I?” he gestured at the bag.

“Nah,” Eren shrugged.

Armin was still standing where he’d been when he approached the table, and he coughed, “I’m just gonna…” he pointed towards the snack counter and skated off.

Jean wondered if he should comment on the tense air, and decided against it, “Sorry my friends are sorta intense.”

Eren shrugged and pushed the cotton candy further away from himself, “It’s fine. It’s always good to meet new people?”

“Yeah?” Jean took the offering and tore off more spun sugar.

“Yeah, it’s mostly just Armin and Mikasa and I, and Annie because she follows Mikasa around. Or Mikasa follows her. I don’t really know.”

Jean cracked a smile, “They all seem nice.”

“Oh, they are,” Eren smiled back at him, “But Mikasa and Annie are gone now, so…”

“They’ll visit. Or you will. Or skype, or whatever.”

Eren shrugged, “Yeah, Mikasa makes me call her every week to prove I’m not dead.”

“Is that a big concern?”

“I may get into scrapes fairly often,” Eren glanced at Jean through his lashes, his head tilted towards where he’d been staring at the table.

Jean cleared his throat, “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Hey!” Eren stole the bag of cotton candy back, “I’ve already been reminded of the whole balcony thing once today.”

Jean frowned at him, but before he could respond, Armin came back to their table with a couple giant pretzels, “Anyone want real food?” he offered.

Eren snagged one of the pretzels, and Armin smiled at him, relieved, before sitting by him on the bench.

“So how long have all of you guys known each other?” he asked Jean.

“Ugh,” Jean scrunched his nose, “It depends on which set of us you’re talking about. I’ve known all of them since college at least, though.”

Eren grinned around a mouthful of cotton candy, “Darn it, I was hoping for embarrassing childhood photos.”

“Ask Marco,” Jean grumbled, “Speaking of, I’m gonna go call him and check- oh, never mind.”

Marco and Hitch approached the table with Marlow, and Jean stood up to steal his godson.

“Who’s here to save me from my evil friends? Hmm? Is it you Marlow? Yeah it is!” he took Marlow from his mother’s arms, and she shot him a thankful smile which he understood once he realized how heavy the kid had gotten.

Eren watched Jean hold up the child and wondered why his chest felt so compressed. Had he already had too much cotton candy? He pushed the bag at Armin and picked at his pretzel instead. Ugh, it had the giant salt rocks that were both good and disgusting. At least Armin hadn’t forgotten the cheese sauce.

“Hey, Marco,” he waved when his mouth was empty again, “This is Armin, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” Marco pat Armin on the shoulder, “I’m Marco, and this is my wife, Hitch, and our son Marlow. We’re gonna go get skates now if you don’t mind us saddling you with the baby,” he winked and they walked off.

“Would little baby Marlow like some cotton candy?” Jean reached for the bag, and Eren reached out to still his hand.

“Don’t feed the baby cotton candy!”

“Selfish.”

“No, this stuff is just disgusting and I don’t want to be responsible for baby vomit,” Eren stuck his tongue out at Jean, before realizing his hand was still placed on the other man’s.

“Oh, right,” Jean seemed to be blushing just as much as Eren was when he finally removed his hand.

“Armin, bathroom, now,” Eren hissed at his friend and then got up before his friend could protest.

* * *

 

“What’s going on?” Armin asked, when they were stood by the water fountains.

“Is it just me, or does Jean look kind of hot when he’s holding a baby?” Eren refused to look back at the man in question.

Armin started laughing again and had to balance himself on the fountain.

“Excuse me,” a small girl with pigtails pouted at them until they moved to the locker, whereupon she started noisily slurping from the fountain.

“Sorry, no, that’s just you,” Armin pat his friend on the shoulder.

“What? No it’s not!”

“Why didn’t you have this problem with Fizzles?”

“I did,” Eren said, “I just sort of figured that was the effect of anyone holding a kitten. But I certainly didn’t think Marco’s wife was hot because of her kid.”

Armin was laughing again, “Eren, you have problems.”

“You’re quickly becoming one of them,” Eren scowled at his friend.

“Sorry, sorry, umm…” Armin glanced back at the table, “Jean probably won’t be holding the baby for the rest of the night?”

“But what if he retains the baby’s hotness?” Eren hissed.

“Pedophile much?”

“Not like that,” Eren punched his friend’s shoulder, “But like… what if I still think he’s hot later?”

“I’m going to tell you what my good friend Sebastian once advised,” at Eren’s questioning look Armin sighed, “Kiss the girl.”

“I hate you,” Eren skated back towards the table, Armin laughing and following behind.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At everyone reading and commenting: You are all TOO SWEET. Like, genuinely, I need to go to the dentists and get my cavities filled because of all of you. Also, this chapter is dedicated to my friend who knows nothing about SNK, but was willing to read parts of it and tell me it 'isn't bad'.


	12. I'm Coming After You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI LEVI

When Jean got back to his apartment he unlocked the door and fell onto his couch, exhausted. He’d had to amuse a small child, put up with his friends’ insanity, and roller skate for the entire night, and he felt justified in his exhaustion. Which was why he was startled when a rap on his door woke him up only just after he’d started dozing.

“What?” he opened his door groggy eyed, and then jumped when he saw who was behind it.

“Hi!” Hanji said, holding his cat, Levi scowling right behind her.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Jean pinched his arm and hoped to hell that this was a dream.

It wasn’t, but at least his scream brought Eren skidding out of his own apartment, who then stared at the congregated group before turning back to his own door.

“No you don’t,” Jean growled at the other man.

“Might we come inside?” Hanji seemed undisturbed by the entire going ons.

“Right, of course,” Jean straightened his shirt, and marched back into his living room, checking behind him to make sure Eren hadn’t tried to escape again.

“So…” Eren interrupted the tense silence with his usual grace.

“So.” Levi seemed to be glaring at all of them at the same time. Jean would have been impressed if he wasn’t busy trying to not shit his pants.

“I can explain!” Jean started, only to stop when everyone switched their gaze to them, “No I can’t.”

“It’s my fault,” Eren blurted out, “If you’re going to get mad at anyone it should be me. I’m the one who found Fizzles, he’s my responsibility.”

“Nonsense,” Hanji interrupted, “Levi isn’t getting mad at anyone, is he?” they pinned their gaze on the man in question.

He just shrugged, “I promise nothing,” he said through gritted teeth.

Jean took the silence as an opportunity to swat at Eren, “It’s my apartment you don’t get to take responsibility.”

“No one has to take responsibility for anything,” Hanji placated, “I was just coming to return Fizzles McChester here to Jean, and Levi decided he wanted to accompany me in case anyone dangerous appeared on the stairwell.”

“Not true,” Levi ground out again.

“Umm…” Jean felt a need to raise his hand, “Am I going to get kicked out? Because I promise I’ll be moving out once my lease is up anyway and…”

Levi’s gaze snapped towards him again, and Jean’s words trailed off.

Fizzles mrowed, and wriggled out of Hanji’s grasp. Looking around at the group of assembled people, he seemed to single out Levi as a prime target, and started to climb his way up his pants.

“Fizzles, no!” Eren dived towards the cat, but it was too late. The cat had already found his way up to sprawling on top of Levi’s head, his mouth now open and his little pants filling the now silent apartment.

“That seems acceptable,” Levi spun about, startling Fizzles into jumping off his head, and marched out of the apartment. He stuck his head back in a moment later, “Hanji, we need to talk.”

“Right!” they said, blinking their eyes, “Later boys!”

“Later,” they mumbled back, only turning to face each other once the door had closed again.

“That… could have gone worse?” Eren frowned softly at Jean.

“You’re telling me,” Jean collapsed onto the couch again.

“Mroooooow,” said Fizzles.

“Yes, you,” Eren picked up the cat again, “You saved the day didn’t you? Cute little pumpkin to the rescue again.”

“Get out of my apartment,” Jean grumbled underneath the pillow he’d shoved over his head.

“Right,” Eren swallowed and stomped to the door, “But we’re going to have to talk about your decision to steal our cat to be yours at some point.”

Jean just groaned and fell back asleep, accepting that he was too tired to not spend the night on the couch.


	13. Circle of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> House Hunting! (And maybe mouse hunting. Who knows what Fizzles gets up to?)

Jean and Eren managed to not actually talk to each other for another week or so, which Jean was grateful for as he kept waking up thinking about when Eren had crashed into him at the skate rink. Or thinking about it whenever he started zoning out. Or he would start zoning out thinking about it. It was just… the skinny jeans he’d been wearing should probably be outlawed. Definitely. Because it was making him feel awkward, to say the least.

Regardless, he was getting busy; his client became more demanding as the website finally began to take form, and he was supposed to have it ready for beta testing within a month. Plus, he now had to find a house that he and a cat would both like. Marco, at least, helped him out with that, since he’d had his own house hunting experience fairly recently.

Sasha and Connie tagged along sometimes as well, and Jean wanted to say they were more of a hassle than a help but it turned out they were weirdly knowledgeable about these things.

“My mom is a real estate agent,” Connie just shrugged when asked.

“Connie’s mom is a real estate agent,” Sasha echoed with a grin.

Jean just rolled his eyes and let them question current owners about property values, and insulation, and mortgage rates. He sure didn’t know which questions to ask, and Marco was busy baking pies again.

As it turned out, they were actually there when he found his new dream home.

“It’s perfect,” he breathed, running his hand over the wooden walls, sighing at the canopies.

“Alright,” Sasha whispered back, “But don’t you dare let them onto that fact,” she nodded at the agent leading them through the house, “trust me, I like to go down to the flea marked and haggle on weekends.”

“That’s not very comforting,” Jean hissed back, but Connie just patted his shoulder reassuringly as Sasha went to go talk to the agent and do her thing.

Later, they stood on the sidewalk outside it, and Jean sighed again, “Just look at it! It’s got three bedrooms, two bath, and a nice kitchen, and it’s totally pet safe, and there’s an avocado tree, and…”

“We know,” Connie patted Jean’s shoulder again, “we were sorta there on the tour with you.”

“But did you see the chandelier in the dining room?” Jean brushed Connie’s hand off him.

“Yeah, dude, we were there,” Connie rolled his eyes, but Sasha shushed him.

“Let him have his moment,” she told her shorter companion, “soon enough we’re going to start harassing him again and he’ll stop looking like it’s his birthday.”

“Yeah, listen to-” Jean cut himself off and looked over at them, “Wait, what?”

“Well now that you’ve found your house, isn’t it time to find something else?” Sasha winked at him widely.

“Ugh, no, let’s talk about your life for once,” Jean deflected.

“Ooh, hear that Connie?” Sasha elbowed the bald man, “Jean wants to hear about the giant shower stall we just installed.”

“No!” Jean threw his hands in the air, “I take it back! I don’t want to hear anything about your guys’ weird lives!” he tried to stomp off only to realize they’d ridden there in Connie’s cube car.

Sasha just cackled him as Jean slumped against the window. The situation didn’t change the entire ride back to Jean’s apartment, as Connie just grinned.

* * *

 

Eren looked up, wide eyed, when Jean walked back into his apartment only a couple hours after he’d left.

“Go that badly?” he asked.

“That well,” Jean’s face almost split in two with the grin he was suddenly sporting.

“Oh,” Eren tried to ignore the way his stomach seemed to be trying to climb up through the rest of his innards.

“It’s a really nice place,” Jean continued, picking up Fizzles from where he was curled on the coffee table, “it’s got a lot of natural lighting and the walls are all nice colors!”

“Wow, that sounds great,” Eren stared at the wall and forced any and all bitter thoughts away.

“It really is! There’s even an avocado tree in the backyard, and hopefully they’ll accept my offer.”

“I like avocados,” Eren focused his thoughts firmly on that, “Guacamole is good.”

“What, no, why would you mash your avocados up? Are you a heathen? You have to just eat them!” Jean gestured vehemently and Eren was taken aback.

“I’m a heathen for cooking my food?” he stopped for a second, “…For eating the food that Armin has cooked?”

Jean snorted, “Wow, you’re very successful, aren’t you. But my new house also has a fully functional kitchen, which is awesome,” he sighed happily and gazed into the distance.

Eren snorted, “Whatever.”

Jean glanced at him, “Way to be happy for me, dude. I mean, I even made sure the place was pet proofed so that Fizzles would be safe and all that.”

“About that…” Eren started, and then realized he didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“Yeah?” Jean looked over at where Eren was fidgeting by his laptop and blinked.

“I just…” Eren sighed, “He’s my cat too, you know?”

“Oh right, you don’t have a car so getting you over to watch him is going to be...” Jean’s brow wrinkled.

Eren ignored the way his heart was suddenly beating, “No, but he’s not really going to need it anymore is he?” his voice got so quiet near the end he wasn’t sure Jean had actually heard him.

“I’m still going to need you,” Jean blinked and flushed, “I mean, to help with him. He’s going to need you.”

“What, to clean his litter box?” Eren snorted, “Great.”

“No, I mean…” Jean flushed even more, “Look, I’ll figure something out. I mean, he’s basically our kid and I’m not going to just cut him off from one of his parents. Or you from him.”

“Great,” Eren repeated, and then tapped his fingers on the desk.

The apartment fell into silence for another couple minutes before Fizzles meowed and Jean blinked, and released his grip.

“Do you need me to stay around for anything?” Eren asked, and, as Jean shook his head, shoved his laptop into his bag again, and left.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. It was my goal to finish uploading this by the end of summer break but now *shrug*  
> I also apparently had edited this before but completely missed that I wrote "Jean walked back into his apartment only a couple hours before he’d left," so, look forward to future chapters of time traveling Jean.  
> (Also I'm so sorry for talking about skinny jeans and butts. I literally just like... I wrote it over a year ago and I haven't really had a crush on someone for longer than that and I made one of my friends read over it and tell me it's not that weird but???? What are butts?? We just don't know. Oh god, 11 year old me is so ashamed.)  
> (also today's chapter is brought to you thanks to airport wifi: what a gift)


	14. ???? I'm running out of songs. Garden Party? I think he covered that once.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feat. cats and flirting.

When Armin got back from his shift at the bookshop, Eren was splayed out on the couch and staring at the ceiling. He smiled and greeted his oldest friend, and when Eren didn’t respond, sighed and went for the emergency supplies.

“Eren?” he asked, setting down the bag of chocolate, “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“No,” Eren rolled onto his side, and took the bag of chocolate. Armin just nodded, and turned the TV on, keeping the volume down as he watched an old episode of The IT Crowd.

“It’s just…” Eren spoke again, and Armin muted the show, “I mean, it’s totally dumb, but Jean found a new place and it’s all suddenly just feeling more real.”

“Ah,” Armin just nodded and took some chocolate as well.

“I just,” Eren paused, and frowned, “It feels like Fizzles won’t really be my cat anymore.”

“Eren,” Armin said quietly, grabbing another chocolate, “Are you sure this isn’t another instance of you acting like it’s the cat when it’s really not?”

“What?”

“Do you not remember your middle of the night creeping in my room?”

“Oh, right,” Eren flopped back onto the couch, “I just don’t see how it’s relevant.”

“I mean, you said yourself that you’re… starting to find Jean attractive. Are you sure you’re not just acting out at the thought of him leaving behind what connection you two have?”

“What? That’s preposterous,” Eren pulled the pillow from behind his head, “Just because I think he’s hot doesn’t mean I don’t think he’s an asshole.”

“You usually find people being assholes reason enough to not find them attractive.”

“No I don’t,” Eren peeked out from behind his pillow to see Armin’s unconvinced stare, “Okay, fine, but this isn’t really a usual scenario?”

“How so?”

“It just isn’t,” Eren grabbed another handful of truffles.

“Whatever you say,” Armin shrugged and turned the volume of the TV back up.

During the next commercial break Eren turned to his friend again, “Do you really think that’s what’s happening?”

“I’m not the one whose emotions are in question right now.”

“Gee, thanks, that’s helpful,” Eren hit his friend with a pillow.

“Now you’re just interrupting my show,” Armin stuck his tongue out at Eren as he moved the chocolate bag out of his reach.

“Rude,” Eren grumbled and settled back to watch along.

When the show ended and Armin got up to call for takeout, Eren grabbed the edge of his shirt, “Would you think it was really weird if I was maybe starting to like Jean? I mean, not like, because you like him too, he’s your friend and neighbor, I mean like like, I mean… oh God.” Eren buried his head in the pillow.

“I wouldn’t really think it was my business unless he hurt you,” Armin shrugged, before Eren could embarrass himself further “Then I’d have to kill him.”

“Right, but…”

“Just think about it,” Armin grinned down at his friend, and then pulled away to order pizza.

* * *

 

When Jean walked into the diner he was pulled into a booth by Ymir almost instantly.

“What-“ his voice was quickly muffled as she clamped her hand onto his face.

“Shhh,” she hissed, “just stay here.”

“What,” he repeated, as she slid out of the booth and walked away. He debated sliding out to follow her for two seconds- until he remembered the time that he’d drunkenly hit on Krista and ended up in more pain than anyone ever should.

After ten minutes of trying to beat his old Flappy Bird score (shut up, he doesn’t care if no one else is playing that game anymore, he will beat it), his patience was rewarded by Marco popping around the corner with a pie.

“Tada!”

“Um,” Jean blinked, “Is that for me?”

“Yeah,” Marco slid into the booth across from him, and was quickly joined by Sasha and Krista, “I heard about your soon to be new house!”

“I mean, they still have to accept my bid, but thanks.”

“Psh,” Sasha flapped her hand in the air, “It’s pretty much a sealed deal.”

“You’re going to have us over for a housewarming party, right? You should tell me when so I can close the diner early that day!”

“You, um, don’t have to do that,” Jean scratched the back of his neck, “I can schedule it around y’all, I mean…”

“Nonsense!” Krista clapped her hands, “This is your day! Let me just go get some plates and forks.”

“Yeah, Jean, it’s your day!” Sasha slapped at his arm, “Did my talking about Connie and I’s bathroom adventures scar you that much? You’re looking kinda down, dude.”

Jean blinked and forced his face into a smile, “Oh, no, I’m fine.”

“Yeah, that’s not fooling anyone,” Marco started unwrapping the pie.

“Look, it’s not a big deal,” Jean sighed and slumped down the bench, “It’s just that Eren’s feeling down about me moving away with Fizzles, and then he left in sort of a rush, and then I left, and oh my god I left Fizzles alone,” scrambling, he pulled his phone out of his pocket only to be stopped by Marco’s hand on his arm.

“Dude, relax, your cat can survive a couple hours on his own. Levi even knows about him at this point,” he patted Jean’s shoulder and then took the phone away.

“Marco!” Sasha stole the phone away from him, “Did you forget Operation Nested Eagle? Don’t prevent Jean from contacting you know who!”

“What.”

“It’s not like you’re giving the phone back to him, either,” Marco pointed out, reaching towards the phone again only for her to hold it out of his reach.

“Nuh-uh,” she stuck her tongue out, “I’m looking for incriminating evidence.”

Jean just lay his head down on the table and waited for Krista to come back. At least he might get pie out of this humiliation, his friends were really anything but subtle.

“Jackpot!” Sasha crowed, “Jean, you should really know better than to keep photos like this on your phone.”

“What?” He sat up so quickly he was worried he got whiplash for a second, “I deleted those!”

“Um,” Marco pointed at the phone, “You can’t even see what she’s referring to.”

“…Right,” Jean groaned and lay his head back on the table.

“Pie!” Krista sat down plates and forks, “Jean do you want to do the honors of cutting it?”

“No, me!” Sasha jumped out of the booth, “Here, Krista, you sit down by Marco, I’ll take the seat by Horse Face,” she grinned wickedly at him and he watched her dissect the pie much like she was probably planning to dissect his every action later.

“Thanks for the pie and the company, guys,” he shoved a mouthful in before anyone could question how sarcastic that sentence was, or try to make him talk to them ever again.

“Anytime,” Krista just beamed at him, while Marco rolled his eyes and dug in.

Sasha dug her elbow into his side instead, “So, what did you delete from your phone?”

“Mmmgh,” Jean spoke around his pie.

“Right, right, and how naked was Eren in these photos?”

Jean coughed and spit out his pie.

“Gross!” Marco winced and grabbed a napkin.

“Yeah, Sash, why would you even say that?” Jean stared at her in horror.

“Well, they were of Eren, right?”

Jean stared at her silently before shoving another bite of pie into his mouth.

Marco just crumpled up the now dirty napkins and grumbled, “I was talking about you, anyway, Jean.”

Jean just shrugged, “Mmmgrrhmph.”

Krista frowned worriedly, eating another dainty bite, “This isn’t going as well as I’d hoped.”

“Blame the people sabotaging the celebration pie by trying to talk about my love life,” Jean hurriedly blurted before shoveling another bite in.

“You admit there is a love life to discuss!” Sasha pointed at him, and Jean stole a bite of her pie, “Hey!”

“You started it,” Jean stole another bite.

“Are you guys ruining Krista’s happy moment?” Ymir materialized from somewhere to stare down at them.

“Oh! No,” Krista smiled up at her, “Everything is good, the pie is delicious, you should try some!” She offered a forkful to Ymir, who took it, sniffing a little.

“Wasn’t this supposed to be my happy moment?” Jean grumbled, looking up from where he was mushing fruit into Sasha’s hair as she wielded both their forks at him.

“No,” Marco licked the last of his pie off his fork, “This was pretty much always an ambush to talk to you about Eren.”

“Hey!” Jean flicked a gelatinous bit at him, “Don’t you guys have anything better to do with your lives?”

“You’re the reason Hitch and I haven’t gotten cable TV yet, actually,” Marco tapped Krista, who moved out of the booth, and wiping his hands on a napkin he followed, “I’ve got to get back to my job now, though, so someone just text me if anything happens.”

“I’m not sure how you’re actually surprised,” Ymir patted Jean’s head, “We’re all just trying to ensure your happiness. It’s what happens when you’re the group pet, Ponyboy.”

Krista just grinned and grabbed Ymir’s hand, sliding out of the booth to leave with her.

Looking down at Sasha as she continued stabbing him with forks, Jean just sighed, “You’re all assholes, you know that right?”

“We also know that’s why you love us,” Sasha gave a particularly harsh jab, “also, that no one nicer would take you,” she shot him another grin and then dropped the forks.

“Right,” Jean grumbled and let her up, “did no one think that actually asking me would be a good plan?”

“Connie actually did suggest it,” Sasha tried to pick at what was left of her pie, “But I told him that was boring.”

“Course you did, Potato Girl,” Jean shoved more fruit paste in her hair and then stepped over her.

“Wait, does this mean I get the rest of the pie?” she called after him as he stomped to the bathroom to clean up. He had even been planning to tell them that the worst part of this whole mess was his heart constricting whenever Eren looked sad about him leaving, but now that would just be caving into their plan.

* * *

 

Jean got back to his apartment hoping for a shower and a nap, and maybe to actually start designing some of the player interactions for his job, but instead he was greeted by the sight of Eren at his counter, again, even though he’d definitely locked the door.

“How’d you get in here,” Jean’s voice came out more snappish than he’d intended it, his irritation at the day bleeding out.

“You left Fizzles alone,” Eren turned around and graced Jean with a scowl to out match his own.

“Oh, wow, I didn’t realize that making decisions about my own cat gave you permission to break and enter now.”

“Your cat?” Eren looked furious, and his eyes were starting to water, and Jean didn’t know what to do.

“He didn’t break and enter,” another voice came from the couch, and Jean turned to see Levi sitting there with Fizzles on his head again, “he asked the landlord to let him in.”

“Oh my god,” Jean stumbled against the wall, “You almost gave me a heart attack.” He was relieved to see that Eren was now laughing.

“You’re too young for cardiac arrest, you little shit,” Levi said, jabbing at the remote to change channels as a commercial came on.

“Whatever, old man,” Eren shot from the kitchen, grinning when Levi turned to glare at him.

Jean just shook his head, his day now three levels more surreal than he could deal with sober, and went into the kitchen to get a glass of lemonade, at least.

“I don’t think you need any more sour in your life,” Eren remarked, as Jean poured himself a cup.

Jean smirked, met Eren’s gaze, and slowly slurped the drink, “You’re just jealous you don’t have any.”

“Nah,” Eren gestured at the cup in front of him, “I already helped myself.”

“Loser,” Jean took the cup away and poured it into his own.

Eren gaped, “Hey!”

“You’re going to teach your cat atrocious manners,” Levi observed from the couch.

Jean turned to glare at his landlord, “Are you trying to be helpful?” he turned back to his glass, only to see it gone, and Eren chugging the whole thing down.

“Phew!”

“Oh my god, get out of my apartment!” Jean grabbed the glass back, clutching it to his chest.

“Which one of us?” Eren wiped the back of his mouth with his hand.

“BOTH OF YOU!” Jean glared until they both left, and picked up Fizzles, “You still love me, right boy?”

Fizzles just scratched his hand and ran away.

“Thanks,” Jean sighed down at his hand, “Good to know, dude.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ??????????????????? I don't know but I gotta go figure out where my plane is leaving from, so I'll see y'all later!


	15. Verge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sloppy exposition necessary for the next couple chapters which are the entire reason I wrote this damn fic.

Two weeks later, Jean returned to the diner, holding the door open and striking a pose.

“Um,” Ymir looked at him, “Are you high?”

“High on life, baby!” Jean picked her up and started to twirl her around, before remembering who she was, “I mean, um, I’m just going to go into the kitchen now!”

He ran off, ignoring her shout of, “You’re not allowed in there anymore, doofus!”

“Connie!” he cried, as his friend stared somberly at a pile of orders.

“Every single one of these is for a cheeseburger, Jean,” Connie turned to him with wide eyes, “Every. One.”

“Who doesn’t like a cheeseburger?”

“The person who has to cook hundreds of them a day,” Connie narrowed his eyes at Jean, “You still have your food handler’s license, right?”

“Yeah?”

Connie grinned, “Great, you’re going to help me then.”

“What? No!” Jean got ignored as Connie dragged him by the neck of his shirt, “I’m here for celebration pie! I got my house!”

“And I’m very happy for you,” Connie let go of his shirt to pat his back, and then tied an apron on him, “Now you’re going to share your joy by helping me out,” he put his face 2 inches from Jean’s, “riiiiiiight?”

“Wow, boys, keep it out of the kitchen,” Sasha popped into the room, “and Connie, I have a table of five all waiting for their devil food.”

“Oh, no, cheeseburgers are Jean’s responsibility now,” Connie threw his arm around Jean’s shoulders, “I mean, it’s only fair, considering he got his dream house and the rest of us are still working shitty hours.”

“What- no- I just… This is why I told you to be CS Majors!” Jean sighed down at his apron, “Fine.”

Sasha shrugged, “Long as they get finished, cause I don’t want a mob on my hands.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jean went over to the stove.

Connie grinned and sat on the counter by him, “Soooo… Do you have a move in date?”

“Yes! It’s in 3 weeks, actually, which is both too soon and too far away, if you know what I mean?”

“Wow, that is soon,” Connie scratched his leg, “Did the other folks already move out?”

“Yeah, moved into a mansion actually, lucky buggers,” Jean got a misty eyed look as he thought of the life of luxury they were leading.

“Right, right, and when’s Eren moving in?”

“Probably as soon as… wait, what?”

Connie just cackled, “Sorry, part of Operation Nested Eagle.”

“Have I told you lately how much I hate you?” Jean flipped two burgers onto buns and put cheese on them.

“Probably,” Connie took the burgers and put them on plates, “But maybe if you finish all these orders for me I’ll start being nicer.”

“No you won’t,” Jean glared and started cooking more burgers anyway.

“You wound me!” Connie clutched at his chest, “Is that all you think of our friendship?”

“Yes,” Jean flinched as a potato chip hit him, “Ooh, was this meant for Sasha?”

“She’s going to kill you if you make any more potato jokes around her.”

“Doesn’t stop anyone from making horse jokes about my face,” Jean stole another chip and ate it.

“Whoa, health codes dude,” Connie grabbed the plates away and put them on the shelf for one of the waitresses to take, “Also you’re about as intimidating as a little baby pony.”

“I hate you so much right now. Why isn’t anyone else in here to save me?”

Connie shrugged and took the next set of finished burgers to finish prepping, “Krista keeps meaning to hire someone else, but whenever she goes into her office Ymir follows and…” he wrinkles his nose, “I don’t want to think about what happens in there because I get my paychecks off that desk.”

Sasha came in and grabbed a couple plates, “Thanks guys! Also, Jean, Marco just got here with a pie for you.”

“Excited for your new hair treatment?” Jean finished the burger on the stove and then tossed his balled up apron at Connie, “Time to do your own job man.”

“Sure, sure,” he grumbled, as he moved to the stove.

“You should definitely try to ruin my hair again,” Sasha nudged him with her foot back towards the diner, “Krista is usually really pleased when you mess up my uniform, and Ymir is so happy when Krista is pleased,” she smiled a dreamy smile and Jean grumbled, leaving her to actually deliver the burgers and went to go get his pie already.

* * *

 

Eren halfheartedly threw a squeaky mouse in Fizzles’ direction.

“Oh, Fizzles,” he sighed, picking up the cat and squeezing him.

“Meooow?”

“You don’t want to leave me, do you sugarplum?” he patted at Fizzles’ head before the cat hissed and batted him away.

The cat stalked silently to a position about five feet away, turning his back to Eren, occasionally shooting him betrayed glances over his shoulder while he washed himself.

Eren fell backwards onto the carpet, “Why does everyone have to leave me?”

A small voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Armin tried to reason with him, _everyone does things at their own pace. You’re just following a different path right now._

Eren just grumbled at the rationing part of his brain. Now even his own brain was trying to betray him, he was totally justified in sulking right now. If it wasn’t a bad example for the cat, and also not really his apartment, he would probably be drowning his sorrows in alcohol right now.

Then again, Armin had threatened to cut him off if he got drunk again. All his friends sucked.

Like, seriously. Mikasa was basically his sister and his best friend and she had left him to go be a super spy? He was happy for her, of course. And proud. Very very proud that the young girl he’d found shivering and scared all those years ago had grown to be someone so strong and self-sufficient.

He still felt left behind. At least she was still wearing her scarf in all the photos on Facebook. He’d sort of grown to see it as a symbol of their relationship.

And Annie… Well Annie was a badass, there was no doubt about that. And they respected each other? And he liked her, he did, but she was sort of a lone wolf and Eren didn’t want to mess up her jive or anything. Also she totally liked Mikasa more than he liked him. That was probably because she could actually beat her in sparring more consistently.

Eren sighed again, when Annie and Mikasa had moved away he’d stopped going to the gym as much and he was getting antsy. Maybe that’s what he could do later today, after Jean got back?

Speaking of Jean, were they even friends? Eren sort of felt like people weren’t supposed to dream about their friends in a… in the way he dreamed about Jean. He was actually becoming a little worried with his subconscious’ obsession.

(On one memorable morning he’d woken and stumbled into the living room, relieved to see his roommate.

“Armin, you took psychology, right?” he said around a yawn.

The blond looked up startled, “For a couple of semesters, yeah?”

“Great, what does it mean if you dream about being a 17th century rent boy?”

Armin had just stared at him, “Eren, dream analysis was Freudian and basically all his theories have been disproven by now.”

“Which means?”

“Which means we are never discussing this ever again. Ever.”

Eren shrugged at his friend’s now turned back and went to go make some tea.)

And Jean… Jean was exactly the sort of person he hated. Someone who cared more about money than the world. But Eren was starting to suspect that was more something Jean had convinced himself of than was actually true. The way he’d been with his friends, with Marco’s kid… with Fizzles McChester, kitten extraordinaire, even. Jean was totally a massive puddle of emotions underneath that spiky hair, and Eren couldn’t help but find that sort of horribly adorable.

God Jean was adorable. The way he blushed and bit his lip when embarrassed, before suddenly bringing his head up, his eyes blazing and ready to argue with you anyway, it was actually kind of respectable how determined he was. And he genuinely cared about his work, a couple times Eren had been cleaning the litter box while he was working on that new game or whatever that he was helping design, and he was constantly fidgeting, but when Eren had tried to start a conversation he’d had to repeat himself multiple times before he broke out of his trance and noticed Eren there.

Who knew being ignored could be that cute? And also sorta… okay, these were not kitten appropriate thoughts. Eren pulled his mind back to what he was supposed to be focusing on.

Fizzles seemed not to care about Eren’s inner turmoil, and ignoring the fact that he was having deep thoughts and self exploring, went ahead and climbed onto his chest and sat down, purring loudly.

“Why are you so happy?” Eren’s head thunked back onto the floor, “All you did was sit on me.”

The cat ignored him, other than kneading his claws into his chest a couple times.

“Ouch! Geez,” he looked into Fizzles’ content expression, and eyes that were slowly turning hazel, “I am gonna miss you though, you complete brat.”

Fizzles just tried to claw Eren’s nose, whereupon he sat up, knocking the cat off, “Fine, you’re right, no more feelings. I’ll just throw a mouse for you again?”

The cat just stalked away, disinterested in whatever it was Eren was trying to offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I'm really sorry about how sloppy this chapter was. I'm blaming it on the fact it was originally written over a year ago and now I'm stuck sick in bed which is why you're getting this update (sorry! I wish I was a better updater!). BUT! Next chapter should be up very soon because I love it dearly.  
> This update brought to you by: salt and vinegar rice cakes and the fact that chapter 73 (?) just came out of the manga and I now feel emotional about these idiots.   
> (I also have no idea where 17th century rent boy came from but it amused me so good job past self)


	16. Thunderstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone take Fizzles away from these idiots and give him to me. (Otherwise known as: everyone is wet and sad and bad at handling feelings and also this is my favorite chapter SO)

Eren got drunk anyway. It wasn’t like he had really intended to, it was just that after Jean had gotten home, and they’d been incapable of meeting each other’s gaze for the billionth time that week, and Armin still wasn’t home from wherever it was that he was, he’d just looked under the sink (Armin was literally the worst at hiding things) and found the jackpot.

He knew Armin had been lying about him finishing of the Fireball last time.

He did finish it this time. He finished it, and lay on the carpet, staring at the ceiling and crying very manly tears. Bawling very manly tears, whatever. Eventually, though, he ran out of tears, and just lay there in the silence.

A click from next door let him know that Jean was heading out again, and before he knew what he was doing he was poking his head out of his own door, watching Jean walk down the steps, and then darting into the other man’s apartment.

(He’d known where the spare key was for months, because kitten emergencies were definitely a thing, and this was definitely one of them).

Apparently tired out from attacking him earlier, Fizzles actually approached Eren and nuzzled him.

“Fizzles!” he cried, before remembering he wasn’t supposed to be there and shushing himself loudly, “Just the man I was looking for.”

The cat just kept nuzzling him, and then meowed a little pitifully, asking to be pet, or fed, or whatever cats wanted.

“Even though you… even though you like to attack me, you love me, right?” Eren reached down to pet the cat and lost his balance, “No, I can be sober for this. Must be sober for the cat,” he took a deep rattling breath, and then visibly relaxed, “You know, everyone makes fun of cat ladies and lads, but I think they’ve actually got it right,” he turned his head to look at the cat in question, “feline friends are beeeeeeest friends. I should just run away with you.”

Fizzles did nothing to acknowledge this statement, but Eren sat up in a rush anyway, “I should just run away with you! If Jean is allowed to just take you for his own why aren’t I???”

Steadying himself with the wall, Eren got up and went to dig in the kitchen for the cat carrier, “Food, okay, I’ve got some canned food here that will have to be enough, and here’s a brush, and there’s your squeaky toy, and…”

Eren fell silent as the wind batted a tree branch against the window, glancing nervously at the balcony, he sighed, before looking down at what he’d shoved into the back of the case and shrugging, “it’s going to have to do us for now, Chester,” and scooping up the kitten, he placed him into the carrier as well, and quickly exited the apartment.

* * *

 

When Armin got home the apartment was, for once, actually quiet. No Eren waiting by the door to bombard him with questions about his day before interrupting with answers about his own day.

He loved Eren dearly, but occasionally worried that their friendship needed marriage counseling. Eren was becoming a little codependent. But today, the apartment was filled with blissful peace, and as Armin settled down on the couch he let himself relax in the solitude.

Until he noticed the empty bottle of Fireball on the floor.

“Shiiiiiiit,” he breathed out, suddenly bolting upright, and cursing himself for forgetting that Eren could never make things that easy. Armin wasn’t quite sure how someone that smart could act so dumb so frequently.

Regardless, he’d promised Mikasa to take care of Eren, and he wasn’t going to make her fly back to kill the both of them, which Armin had no doubt she would do if she found out Eren had disappeared and Armin had let him.

Then, again, it could all be fine. Taking a deep breath, Armin went and opened Eren’s door, checking if he’d just passed out on his bed.

Noooooooope, and Eren really needed to start cleaning his room more frequently. On the upside, it’s now incredibly apparent that if Eren did leave, he did so without his jacket, wallet, or… lube. Great.

Taking another calming breath, Armin checked the bathroom, his own room, and under the table, before beginning to panic for real.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he whispered into his phone, “Jesus Eren, I’d thought you’d gotten over making drama, not that you were building up to running away.”

His phone just emitted a beep, and a, “Hello, you are now talking to the phone stuck inside Eren’s pocket…” that Armin hung up on.

Grabbing his wallet and keys, Armin pulled on a jacket and scarf and left his apartment, blinking his eyes rapidly, and knocking on Jean’s door.

“Jean?” He asked, when the other man appeared, looking almost as disheveled as Armin felt.

“Hey, Armin,” Jean scrubbed at his face, “What’s up?”

“Have you seen Eren?” he blurted, like ripping off a band-aid. Eren kept clamming up when Armin asked him about Jean these days, but it was worth a shot to see if he was there.

“Not since this afternoon,” Jean frowned, running his hand through his hair, “Would you happen to have seen Fizzles?”

“No I-“ Armin suddenly stopped, too many things clicking into place, “Shit!”

“What?” Jean looked shocked, before horrified comprehension started dawning, “He wouldn’t…”

“Check for the cat carrier,” Armin pushed past Jean into the other apartment and started tapping his foot while the other man rushed to check.

“Nope,” Jean spoke, muffled in a cabinet, before trying to withdraw his head and ending up hitting it, “Ow! and I think there’s some cat food missing too.”

Armin and Jean just stared at each other in horror for a moment, before Jean opened his freezer and rifled for an ice pack instead.

Armin just leaned his back against the wall, “Why am I best friends with an asshat?”

“Eren’s not-“ Jean seemed to catch himself, “No, okay, he’s an asshat. But usually an idiot with fucking morals. Stealing our cat, fucking really?”

Armin just rolled his eyes, “He probably thinks that’s what you’re doing by moving. His brain probably reasoned that it was fair play, or something shitty like that. Drunk Eren isn’t really Eren at his best.”

“Great, my cat is stuck with a drunk madman, that’s just… fan-fucking-tastic.”

“He won’t hurt him?” Armin offered weakly, “He just… I’m going to call him again,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing from memory.

* * *

Jean was pacing. Jean never paced. But this was… this could be bad. He’d been avoiding Eren for weeks, hoping the problem would go away, but he had a sudden flashback to when he’d locked the man on his balcony with the same thought and how it hadn’t helped at all. It had actually made things even worse. Sort of. It probably wasn’t because of that that Eren moved in, but the point was ignoring Eren didn’t help anything get done.

_Shit shit shit!_

And now Eren and Fizzles were both god knows where, and the rain was coming down worse than ever (of course, why would this happen on a clear night? That would be preposterous!) and there was a wind chill, and what if one of them got sick? Oh god, Jean didn’t know if he could handle little kitten sneezes, and if Eren got sick how could Jean be properly mad at him?

You can’t yell at sick people! Even sick fucking idiots!

Jean really hoped they were freaking out over nothing. He hoped that Armin’s call went through and Eren had just taken Fizzles to see Hanji because he’d barfed or something. Never mind that Eren wasn’t even supposed to be in his apartment, he’d broken in before, Jean was sure it could happen again.

None of this was helping and he was still treading a hole in his carpet. Fucking assholes with their bright smiles and twinkling eyes and perfect asses that made you forget why you thought they were an asshole in the first place. Never mind that Jean should have been clearer that he wasn’t trying to take Fizzles away from Eren, had he even told Eren that he was literally moving a two minute walk away?

But holy god was Eren overreacting now. Running away? Seriously? How on earth would they ever make a relationship work if both of them were overdramatic assholes, they would just-

Whoa, Jean froze in mid-step, who said anything about a relationship? Oh God, what was his brain doing now-

He was saved from his own psyche by Armin looking up from his phone again, “He’s not picking up.”

“Alright,” Jean grabbed his hoodie, “We’ll just have to go look for them then.”

“Jean, it’s almost midnight.”

“And?” Jean stared, completely unsure of what Armin’s point could be.

“Right, sorry, I forgot I’m the side character in a horrible rom com,” Armin rolled his eyes, “fine. I’ll take my car and look in all the diners and places that are open this late, and you can go on foot or bike or whatever and scour the streets.”

“How come I have to be the one in the rain?”

“Because,” Armin just stomped out of the apartment, leaving a restless, tired, and fretful Jean to follow after him, leaving his door unlocked just in case.

* * *

 

It was cold and wet and Eren was starting to regret his choice. There was no going back now, though. He’d forgotten his phone was charging, and it was too dark for him to tell where he was, so he just sat down in an alley and pulled Fizzles out to cuddle.

Fizzles did not like the rain. On the other hand, he seemed to realize that Eren offered some protection from the rain. Or maybe the outside world just smelled weird, and while Eren might have brought him into this mess, the cat had some self preservation sense that told him that sticking with Eren was his best bet at this point.

While he imagined Mikasa would be telling him that nothing besides time could make someone sober, speaking in a worryingly flat voice, her eyes staring into his as if searching for something he was worried she’d never find, Eren was feeling pretty sobered up by the rain.

He was also quickly realizing that not stopping for a jacket (it’s not like those two minutes made it that much more likely someone would come back and stop him) was a terrible idea, as the rain made quick work of his t-shirt and ratty jeans, and he was now wetter than he usually felt even in the shower. That might be because of the fact that the wet clothing was now sticking to him and reminding him that his very distant ancestors had left the ocean for a reason.

Then again, whales were supposed to have gone back, and they seemed happy enough. Maybe he should’ve hoped to be descended from them instead.

Another small voice in the back of his head was reveling in the rain, telling him it was what he was deserved. He quickly quashed that thought, breathing deeply, and trying to remember the calming exercises his therapist had taught him. He really needed to get to the gym again, his muscle tone and endorphins were both sadly lacking.

He petted Fizzles wet and bedraggled fur, as the cat let out another plaintive meow.

“I’m sorry,” he smiled crookedly down at where the cat was huddled, occasionally attempting to nuzzle in under his shirt before remembering there wasn’t anywhere dry anymore, “I guess you’re regretting the fact that I’m the one trying to own you alone now. Jean would probably be better at this,” he snorted, “not that I want to compliment the dude too much. I mean, yeah he’s hot, and he’s wicked smart, and he can think on his feet faster than most people I know, and watching him skate around is sinful…” he awkwardly cleared his throat, “You can’t understand this, right? Cause I would feel kind of pervy having this conversation with my cat about his other… dad. Geez, how weird is that, we adopted a cat together without knowing each other,” he tried to snort again, and ended up sneezing and shivering, Fizzles clawing at his arms as he shuddered, “No, shhh, shh, it’s okay,” he petted down at the cat and tried to deflect the rain with his hair again, “I just…” he let his head fall onto his knees, “I’ve become really fond of you two? Like, I understand why people have kids now, even if they usually wait until they’re married or in a relationship or whatever,” he laughed a little, holding Fizzles to make sure he didn’t try and dash for it, “You’re really cute, and watching him with you is really cute, and I don’t want you to leave me. Is that selfish?”

The cat just clawed at his jeans again, hissing a little as he shook his head to get some of the water droplets away, but considering he was in an enclosed space it did little good.

“Yeah, I know, it was pretty selfish,” Eren just sighed, and the cat leant towards the warm breath, “But I’m not always good at remembering others, sorry. Bet you wish Armin was your dad right now. Because much as I’m crushing on Jean, he’s also a mess. Not as much of a mess as me, probably, but…” Eren shrunk towards the wall at the sound of running feet in the alley, and the shouts of teenagers, god he felt old, “I’ll take you home tomorrow,” he promised the cat, “I would’ve already but there’s nowhere open to ask for directions and I’m out of change for a pay phone and Mikasa would kill me if I accidentally ended up in the middle of a gang fight,” the cat continued staring through his arms at the rain pouring down, “I _would_ end up in the middle of a gang fight,” he told the cat, “It’s just my luck.”

He fell into silence for a couple more seconds before shaking himself a little, “Sorry, guess I gotta keep talking to you. If I don’t I’m going to fall asleep and that’s really the only way this situation could get any worse,” he sniffed his nose to prevent it from running, and rearranged Fizzles against his chest for the same reason, “I mean, it’s already raining.”

Running feet passed by the alley again, but this time he was too startled to withdraw quickly, and the figure skidded to a halt, “EREN?”

Shit. Eren scrambled for the latch on the cat carrier, and shoved Fizzles back inside, even if the cat hated it more than he hated the rain. The blurry figure came towards him anyway.

“Sorry,” the voice spoke, and Eren was suddenly paralyzed by the realization that Jean was here, probably looking for him, and he’d ran away with their cat, “I was just looking for a friend of mine, have you seen a man with a cat? I just…” Jean trailed off as he got close enough to see Eren hunched against the wall, his wet hair not offering much of a disguise even while it hung down, dripping in front of his eyes.

Eren slowly stood up.

* * *

 

Jean didn’t know what he was supposed to be feeling right now, or even what it was that he was feeling. He hadn’t really been expecting to find Eren, even while he knew he could do nothing else tonight but try.

Relief seemed to be flowing through his veins, but more than that, a tension was working its way through his gut, and most of the anger he’d expected to feel was lost at Eren’s appearance, his wet clothing hugging his form too closely, making Jean blush, as well as want nothing more than to smother Eren in a blanket and push a steaming mug of hot cocoa into his hands.

He thought he heard Eren mutter something, and shook himself out of his analysis of Eren’s eyes, and whether that was a defensive or offensive anger that filled them, “What?” he asked, stepping closer, and clenching his hands, suddenly feeling all the rain that had been falling on him at once, crashing through him like the mix of anger and relief and… something else.

“I said sorry,” Eren glared, managing to look defiant even with his shoulders hunched, shivering violently, and his eyes looking as regretful as they did venomous, “I’m sorry I stole your cat. I’ll pay for any bills if he gets sick, I guess.”

“Our cat,” Jean responded on autopilot, trying to figure out what it was Eren was saying. Eren never apologized to him, only to people he bumped into on the street, and small animals that he didn’t have food to give, and old women that asked him for directions when he didn’t have any.

Eren just laughed hollowly, the action wracking his already shuddering form, and Jean ached, “Yours now,” he said, clenching his arms tighter around himself, “I’m apparently the kind of pet owner who will run away with his cat in the middle of a thunder storm.”

“He might still be out in this storm if you hadn’t saved him in the first place,” Jean said, trying to distract himself from the urge to rip off his jacket and put it around Eren’s shoulders. That was stupid, then they’d both just be drenched.

Eren glared harder, if that was possible, and shoved at Jean, stepping closer as he did so, “Why aren’t you angry with me?” he shouted, his face impossibly close to Jean’s.

Jean’s eyes narrowed, “You want me to be angry?” he hissed, and watched as Eren jerked his head in an affirmative nod, “Fine,” he stepped closer to Eren as well, grabbing his shirt and wincing at how water dripped from where his fingers clenched, “What the fuck were you thinking, you complete idiot! Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“Fizzles is fine!” Eren interrupted, “I mean, emotionally scarred and probably hates me now, but he’s fine!”

“NOT FIZZLES YOU IDIOT!” Jean pulled Eren closer, though he’d thought that impossible, before breathing raggedly and lowering his voice, stepping forwards and forcing Eren to walk back to the wall, “Why the fuck would you run away? In a fucking t-shirt??? I started pacing, Eren. Pacing!”

“Ummmm,” Eren’s mouth hung open in apparent shock, and Jean noticed that his even his lips looked cold, not their usual plump and pink, but rather almost blue, and it couldn’t possibly be that cold, but Eren was still shivering and so Jean pulled moved his hands to his waist so he could pull him in and hope for heat transfer.

“Why the fuck would you run away?” he asked again, and put his head down on Eren’s shoulder, his anger finally leaving him for sadness, and the tears mingling with the rain on his shirt. He was going to run out of emotions soon at this point.

“Why do you even care?” Eren asked, trying to tilt his head so he could see Jean’s, but not having much luck.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jean gritted out, refusing to embarrass himself even more than he already had.

“Um, yeah it does,” this time when Eren spoke it was right in Jean’s ear, and he clinched his fingers into tighter fists, “because this is starting to look like I’m in an overly dramatic romance novel, and I really need to know if that’s true or not, because this is really the best time to reject me, you know, since my life can’t get any shittier,” Eren tried to gesture at the alley, but his arm was sort of pinned by Jean’s closeness, “So…?” he continued, when Jean didn’t respond.

“Why would you care if I rejected-“ Jean stopped as he moved his head back up, looking into Eren’s eyes, which were almost green at this closeness, and still so bright even while he was pale and shivering (but shivering less, thank goodness), but slowly Jean’s brain started working and something started to click and he wondered if maybe his friends weren’t crazy- maybe he wasn’t just pining, and then Eren’s eyes flickered down to where Jean was nervously biting his lips, and his eyes turned darker than Jean knew was possible- but he did know, because they’d gone that dark at the skating rink, and he’d just convinced himself that it was a trick of the light, and that it wouldn’t matter if it wasn’t because Eren hated him anyway and, “You don’t hate me?” his brain output for him before he could stop it.

Eren snickered, and looked back up at Jean, his eyelashes now down in a way that was definitely flirty, and his voice was so deep when he spoke Jean almost couldn’t concentrate on the words, “Jean I adopted a kitten with you, of course I don’t hate-“

And that was all Jean heard before he closed the distance (it was so small and yet seemed so big now), finding Eren’s lips warmer than he’d thought, and Eren stumbled a little on the trash against the wall of the alley, but then they found the wall and it was good, it was perfect. Jean hadn’t known such a chaste kiss could overwhelm him, but here they were, lips firmly closed, and Jean had forgotten the rain and cold, and then it was over (an eternity later) far too quickly, and Jean breathed out, his forehead touching Eren’s, his eyes closed, but he opened them as Eren breathed out his name.

And then Eren was gently pushing him off of him, and he looked into eyes he didn’t know how to read, and the emotional strain of the day decided to take its toll now, and Jean suddenly found himself unsure of how to respond, his emotions gone and a hollow feeling in his chest even while his heart beat impossibly fast.

He opened his mouth (again, but this time there was no tongue to meet it, and he quashed that thought as soon as he could) to say something, anything, and what came out was, “NO HOMO!” and then Eren looked livid, and Jean was scrambling away, and one of the boxes meowed, and it must have been Fizzles, because Jean grabbed it and ran, away from the alley, away from the confusion, away from Eren.

He didn’t look back, even while his every nerve screamed for him to do so. He couldn’t look back, and see what he’d left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. Last night I had a conversation with my roommate about how cat burglars should be people who steal cats.  
> B. Silly Armin, Mikasa wouldn't kill you.   
> C. Jean why did you leave your door unlocked- Eren knows where the spare key is?? We established this 2 seconds ago???  
> D. I'm so sorry for every time I try to write sexual attraction? Like literally just imagine me sitting at a laptop going, "what are the allosexuals into... butts??? lube??? rain???????" I'm so sorry I try so hard and yet...  
> The first draft of their kiss literally was, "...Eren’s lips warmer than he’d thought, and Eren stumbled a little on the trash against the wall of the alley, but then they found the wall and it was good, it was perfect. Jean hadn’t known such a chaste kiss could overwhelm him, but here they were, lips firmly closed, and Jean had forgotten the rain and cold, and then Eren opened his lips, and Jean found his tongue already in his mouth, and it was heaven.  
> Wet mouths were nowhere near as terrible as the wet rain, and the same adjective shouldn’t be applied, and then it was over (an eternity later) far too quickly, and Jean breathed out, his forehead touching Eren’s, his eyes closed, but he opened them as Eren breathed out his name."  
> And in retrospect they are the trash against the wall in the alley. It is them. But anyway many thanks to my friend who told me that "tongue kissing is not as common as you might expect" because I really didn't know how to rewrite "wet mouths were nowhere near as terrible as the wet rain" because even as it is the worst thing I have ever written it is also the best. (I take that back, go read my Voldemort/Voldemort fanfic)


	17. Repurcussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on

Eren swayed in the alleyway, unsure of how his legs were still holding him up. He’d just wanted Jean to move away a little so he could actually stand up and they could go home, and maybe… but then, Jean had just- had he really just- Jean had shouted, “NO HOMO!” and run away with their cat, and Eren was too drunk, too sober, too tired, too wet, too cold to deal with this right now, or ever.

“That went well,” he muttered into the now empty air around him, and then, of course, finally, the rain let up. He walked out into the street, and with the rain gone the streetlamp could finally illuminate its sign, and he racked his brain for where would be open at this time of night. He thought there was a diner around here? But no, Jean’s friends worked at a diner, and he wasn’t going to take that risk, so he headed in the opposite direction to where there was a gas station, that probably had a phone he could borrow as well. With the sight he was, they’d probably take pity on him, or at least let him call so they could get him out of there.

Walking to the gas station gave him too much time to think though, so he just shoved his hands into his pocket and tried to ride it out.

It hurt more than he’d expected. He’d known he’d liked Jean, he guessed, he certainly lusted after the guy, and thought everything he did was adorable, and fantasized about curling up around him (it was totally not weird to be jealous when Fizzles got to snuggle with Jean and he didn’t, right?) and maybe he’d been more than a little upset that Jean was moving because it meant he was leaving and not just taking the cat with him.

And this, this hurt in a way that hollowed him out and made him wish he didn’t have feelings. This burned in a way that made him angry, but wasn’t angry, was just sorrow, deep and sharp, and it dug into his heart and left him feeling colder on the inside than he did on the outside. He was shivering again, but all the clanking of his teeth did little but give his hurt a nice and depressing soundtrack.

His brain wouldn’t stop circling through the same thoughts, over and over, Jean had kissed him first, right? And he hadn’t imagined those times he’d caught Jean checking him out, and his blushes and he was so cute when he blushed and Eren would never see it again because Jean had run away, but Jean had been the one to kiss him, and it wasn’t fair because he’d been so sure he wasn’t imagining everything, he wasn’t supposed to be just pining this time, and it was supposed to work out, and it wasn’t ever going to because Jean hated him, Jean had run away, but first he had ruined everything by kissing Eren, and…

Eren’s thoughts finally got cut off as the lights of the gas station came into sight. Even better, the site of Armin’s cube-y little car parked by one of the pumps.

Eren walked up to the car, before realizing that he was at a complete loss for what he was supposed to be doing, as the entire day caught up with him. Luckily, Armin came to his side so Eren could collapse on him, sobs finally joining the shivers in wracking his frame.

“Eren?” Armin pulled him into a proper hug, “What happened? Where’s the cat?”

“Jean,” is all Eren managed in between sobs, before Armin was patting his back, maneuvering him into the passenger  wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, and talking about getting Eren home, but that was no good because to get home he had to walk past Jean’s apartment, and-

It was then that everything went thankfully, blissfully black.

* * *

 

Fizzles McChester was unamused. He had spent the night being wet, cold, and occasionally stuck in a cat carrier.  What was even worse, was that he was now back in a warm room and his feeder was ignoring him. He just wanted to be pet, was that really so wrong? He’d even just washed himself so he wouldn’t be dirty! Plus, he had thoughtfully wiped all the water he could off onto the couch so that it wouldn’t get on his feeder.

But no, his feeder had only stopped to open the cage, not even taking off his outer fur before going into the giant squishy square room, and firmly shutting the door behind him. No amount of scratching the door had alerted his feeder to the wrongness of it, and Fizzles was done trying.

He was just going to have go hunting for food stuck in clear barriers again, apparently. His feeder had totally been pleased when he’d done that before.

* * *

* * *

* * *

Jean shoved the last of his belongings into a cardboard box with his shoulders clenched almost all the way up to his ears. Soon, Marco would be here with his judging eyes, and Connie with his too loud laugh, and Sasha who was thankfully still acting as normal, except for whenever she was about to mention the cat or Eren and suddenly broke off, and Ymir who wasn’t talking to him much and Jean didn’t know if that was just because that was their version of normal or she was mad at him, and…

The more his friends acted like this was horrible, the more Jean started to think so himself, and it was more than he could handle some days. The more they acted like he’d screwed up his chances, the more he worried he had. And he didn’t know if he had or not, because he hadn’t seen Eren since then (didn’t know if he wanted to see Eren since then), and the two times he’d seen Armin in the hall, all the information he could gather was that Eren was sick (it was his fault, he should have given Eren his jacket) before Armin would shoulder check him and leave him standing alone in the hallway again.

Jean didn’t need anyone’s help to feel horrible, but everyone else seemed more than willing to chip in.

But there was the knock at his door, letting him know they were all here to help him pack the rest of his stuff into Marco’s truck, and at least they were still sticking with him, mostly, anyway.

And they did help the process along, and then suddenly Jean was all alone in his apartment, feeling empty from the sudden absence of his friends’ laughter as they finished packing everything in. He was supposed to be checking to make sure he hadn’t left anything behind, and all Jean could do was stare at how empty it suddenly looked.

He swallowed a lump in his throat at the sight of the empty walls, the dents in his carpet where his furniture had been. The scratch that Fizzles had left on one memorable day, that he’d tried to hide with spackle and paint but Levi would probably find anyway. The kitchen cabinets that somehow managed to look empty, even while closed (and were empty when he double checked). The curtains were gone, and he could suddenly see his balcony in startling clarity, and almost laughed at the memory of Eren showing up out of nowhere in the middle of the night. And then he had to swallow a lump in his throat of another kind, before straightening his shoulders.

Jean Kirstein was not a coward, no matter what anyone would say, and he wasn’t just going to leave this apartment building without apologizing to Eren. He needed resolution, and it felt too much like leaving with his tail between his legs if he did nothing.

So posture stiff, Jean checked the rest of the places in his house where his belongings might have hidden (he’d already done this three times after packing, he didn’t know why Sasha was making him do it again), and then left behind the apartment he’d spent the last three years of his life in, the apartment he’d adopted his kitten in, the apartment he’d fallen in love in.

The apartment he wasn’t going to let be the last place he had memories with the person he’d fallen in love with take place. So, steeling his resolve again, Jean let the door click shut behind him with a startling finality, and glancing at the stairwell to make sure his friends weren’t about to barge in again, Jean knocked on Eren’s door.

After an eternity of waiting (3 seconds), it opened.

Armin stood there, his arms crossed on his chest, his eyes narrowed and his posture even stiffer than Jean’s.

“Um,” Jean had managed to forget Eren didn’t live alone, which was really stupid considering that he’d known Armin way longer, “I was just about to leave and wanted to say goodbye?”

“Bye,” Armin moved to shut the door.

“Wait!” Jean shoved his foot into the doorway, and winced as the door hit it with surprising force.

Armin sighed, and opened the door again, “What do you want, Jean?” he hissed.

“I just don’t want to leave like this,” Jean held his hands palm up, trying to look as calm and unhurtful as possible.

“Jean,” Armin’s eyes widened back to normal, but he just looked pitying more than anything, “Just leave. Move into your new home and be happy. I couldn’t let you talk to Eren right now, even if I wanted to, because he’s still laid up sick in bed. But I don’t want to let you talk to him, Jean. I’ll tell him you came by, and if he wants to contact you, that’s his call, but you need to stop.”

“I just-“ Jean cut himself off at the look on Armin’s face, “I didn’t ever mean to leave like that.”

“I know,” Armin’s shoulders relaxed a little, his expression gentling, “But right now he’s sick, and you’re busy settling into your new house, and you both need some time apart to think about things.”

Jean examined Armin’s face for another minute before nodding, “I’m sorry,” he blurted, at the sound of his friends finally running up the stairs, he lowered his voice, “just tell him that, will you?”

Armin nodded once, and then shut the door in Jean’s face. He sighed, and turned to see all his friends watching him cautiously.

“Hi,” he muttered, and then trudged towards them, “I checked, and I’m not leaving anything behind.” He tried not to wince as he realized the double meaning they would all be taking from that.

“Jean-“ Marco put his hand onto Jean’s shoulder only to be shrugged off, “Want to order pizza to celebrate your new house?”

Jean smiled, and relaxed, throwing his arms around his friends, “Sure,” he said, “I’d like that.”

And he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. This chapter is dedicated to Noah, who once given the ship and approximate location of my fic when sorted by kudos managed to figure out which one was mine (it was the one with Armin tagged. I mean it still is, but I respect that he put in that effort and also... I mean I guess it's hard to not know how much I love Armin I talk about it regularly but still. Congrats Noah. I'm not sure if you'll ever make it this far, honestly you should just go listen to Hamilton instead, but still. This is for you).  
> B. Why wasn't this entire story written from Fizzles' perspective??????


	18. West Coast Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which friendship comes from sources both unexpected and expected.

When Eren was a kid he’d always sort of hoped to get sick, wanting a day off from school, and then every time it happened he remembered how much it sucked to be sick, and how boring it was to have nothing to do.

He still hated being sick. He’d tried to work on his thesis, but he was too tired to comprehend any of the articles or books he’d tried to read, and every time he tried to write he ended up forgetting what he was saying halfway through a sentence, being told by Armin that his sentence didn’t actually make any sense in English, or falling asleep at his keyboard and typing nonsense with his forehead.

He’d watched every documentary about dinosaurs on Netflix, played through Portal three times, made 5 new spotify playlists, broken his solitaire high score, attempted to become twitter famous, and tried to learn how to cook from Armin.

After his third time coughing on the vegetables, he’d been banned from the kitchen, and with the glare Armin had shot him when he’d sneezed, he didn’t think he wanted to go back.

He’d skyped with Mikasa exactly twice before realizing that her two modes right now were either too tired for conversation, or fussing over the fact he was sick when that was the last thing he’d wanted to talk about.

Then again, he’d responded far worse when she’d brought up Fizzles or Jean, so he couldn’t really blame her for trying.

He was tired of sleeping, and felt like shit every time he tried to exercise, and frankly, was out of sane things to do.

Armin had left the house, probably so Eren would stop driving him crazy, and so Eren was now blasting Taylor Swift and crying into his cup of juice.

It probably wasn’t his greatest moment, but he now had the entire album memorized, and was almost perfectly in tune as he crooned, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in,” images of Jean splattering his coffee onto the carpet coming unbidden to his mind, “Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground,” an alley that he’d tried to forget about, but couldn’t stop thinking about, no matter how frequently he’d tried.

The logical part of his brain pointed out he’d probably be able to move on better if he actually talked about it, but instead he’d just given Armin the barest of details ( _Yes, I’m sure he hates me, no, I didn’t punch him, even though he deserves it, the homophobic trash- no I'm not explaining that I'M SICK GO AWAY ARMIN_ ) before clenching his jaw and refusing to say more. He didn’t know if telling Armin more would make him more or less protective, but he didn’t want to take the chance ( _No, Armin, I’m not letting you cuddle with me to make me feel better, it’d just end up making you sick as well and then we’ll both feel like shit. No! Armin go away- oh fine, yes, this is very comforting_ ).

Taylor understood him anyway, though, and he let himself drown in her lyrics of heartbreak, wondering why anyone wouldn’t love her.

He was interrupted by a knock on his door on the third repeat of the album, and clenching his comforter around him, he went to answer the door.

He was met with 5 feet of scowling landlord.

“Hi?” Eren asked, unsure if he was violating noise codes. Also, frankly confused as to what Levi was doing here, since he was supposed to be fairly germophobic.

“You need help,” is all Levi told him, “So we’re going to have a tea party.”

“Um,” Eren was startled enough to let the other man into his house, who barely looked over his shoulder before placing a blanket down on the ground and sitting on it.

“I invited Hanji too,” the shorter man stated, “but they’re busy doing horrible experiments to try and determine the nature of liver disease in one of their older cat patients.”

“Right,” Eren shut the door and returned to the couch.

“So I brought tequila,” Levi pulled out a bottle, and a couple of tea cups from somewhere, and then placed one on the blanket in front of him, and then put the other one on the coffee table by Eren, flinching away from getting too close.

“…I don’t think I’m supposed to be drinking right now,” Eren said, still staring at Levi with wide eyes.

“Nonsense,” the other man poured them both liberal servings from the bottle, “Alcohol kills germs, you know,” he pulled salt from another pocket, and slowly poured some onto his hand, grimacing before licking it and downing some of the tequila.

“Right,” Eren glanced at where Levi had pushed the salt towards him, and then shrugged and took it, copying the older man, “Isn’t there also supposed to be lemon?”

“Too messy,” is all Levi replied before repeating the process, and then sighing, “Man, Hanji is missing out on this tea party.”

“T for tequila then?” Eren felt the buzz start, and wasn’t sure if it made him feel better or worse.

“Don’t you see the tea cup in front of you?” Levi looked almost offended, so Eren decided to drop the subject, “Now what has you listening to teen pop music?”

“Um,” Eren downed the rest of his tequila before looking at the other man again, his mouth open in shock.

“Hanji thinks I should have better relations with my tenants,” he grumbled, glancing away for a second before returning his steely glaze to Eren, “So please tell me what’s wrong so I don’t have to listen to your angst anymore.”

“Right,” Eren gulped, “it’s… you know Jean?”

Levi snorted, “So this is that asshole’s fault?”

Eren nodded emphatically, “He is totally an asshole.”

“I’m not gonna disagree,” Levi shrugged, “His apartment totally had a scratch in it and he still wanted his whole security deposit back.”

It was Eren’s turn to snort, “Typical. Always trying to take advantage of other people.”

“So what’d he do to you?” Levi got up and went to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water, calling over his shoulder, “Steal your cat?”

Eren snorted again, and drank some juice, “Yeah, and kissed me.”

“Shitty kisser?” Levi came back, apparently drunk enough to sit next to Eren on the couch when he returned.

“No, that’s the worst part,” Eren relaxed back into the cushion, “He was a fucking excellent kisser, right up until he shouted No Homo and ran away.”

“Wow,” Levi seemed actual stunned, “That is grade A assholery.”

“Second worst moment of my life,” Eren nodded, “Wet, drunk, kissed and then abandoned with my cat stolen.”

Levi patted his shoulder awkwardly, then wiping his hand onto his pants.

Eren just stared into his juice again, before downing it again, and smacking his lips, “I just don’t know why the world hates me so much, y’know?”

“World hates everyone,” Levi nodded, “Look at me, stuck running an apartment building when I don’t even like people, both of my best friends are insane, and considering I’m still friends with them, I probably am too.”

Eren just snorted again, “My best friends are insane too,” he paused for a second, staring into space, “Nice, though. I think they’d follow me into battle if I asked.”

“Mine would just order me into it,” Levi drank more of his water, “Probably throw obstacles in my way and make everything worse.”

“Yeah,” Eren said, trailing off again, “But at least they’re there for you when you need it.”

“Mmm,” Levi nodded again, and drank more of his water, “You want to talk about it or something.”

“The worst day of my life was when my mom died,” Eren turned to him, his eyes suddenly brimming with tears.

“I meant to a therapist!” Levi held his hands in between them, “Jesus Christ!”

“I already did that!” Eren blew his nose onto his shirt, and Levi gagged.

“I’m an orphan?” he offered, digging in his pocket for a handkerchief.

“Oh,” Eren blinked the remaining tears away, “Usually people just say sorry and then look awkward.”

“I know,” Levi did a little laugh snort, “Doesn’t really make anything better, does it?”

Eren shrugged, “I used to punch people for it. Got to the point where Armin and Mikasa won’t even mention her around me.”

“Gotta talk about it,” Levi nodded again, “But not to me.”

Eren laughed, “Nah, I’m past a lot of my rage issues now. Should talk to Mikasa and Armin about it probably, though.”

Levi just hummed in agreement, before nodding at the wall, the room lapsing into silence for a couple minutes.

“Want more tequila?” Eren asked, finally breaking the silence.

“God yes,” Levi snorted, “Now stop offering me my own tequila, brat,” but he poured them both new cups anyway, as Eren got them chips.

* * *

Jean stared at his third milkshake of the day, and wondered for the hundredth time what he had to be so sad about.

He had a job he liked, more money than he could really do things with, and a house with an avocado tree. But, as always, he found ways to be miserable anyway. Turns out human emotions don’t actually care that someone else out there might be worse off, being in pain sucks anyway.

It turned out that living alone was… well, lonelier than he’d expected. Sure, Fizzles kept him company, but every glance at the cat just reminded him of Eren, and he still didn’t know what to do about that. When he went to go get his mail, there was no longer Mrs. Rogers from upstairs to ask him how he was doing, and then get in a long conversation with him about the weather, and was he sure he was eating enough?

He’d always complained to his friends about how his old neighbor wouldn’t leave him alone, but it actually sucked to not have someone around who was regularly concerned about his welfare. And she’d been nice, and being nice to her had felt like an important part of his day, and…

Now when he went to go do laundry, he went to the laundromat a mile north instead of the one to the west, and he claimed it was because it was a whole quarter cheaper, but really he was just trying to give Eren the largest amount of space he could. But he kept accidentally paying another quarter anyway, and every time he did he remembered why he was breaking from routine, and had to wonder if he was running from Eren instead.

He no longer had an excuse to come to the diner every day, because he had an actual study that he was managing to keep the cat out of, and even when he did come he ended up doing what he was now, creating his own little cloud of gloom, and sighing about the fact that his friends were busy, and feeling like a shit for it.

He’d called his mom last night, for someone new to talk to, and she’d just asked if her little Jeanbo had found any nice girls yet, and he’d told her he was bi, and she’d just laughed and told him she’d suspected, ignoring his splutters and asking if he’d found any nice boys. And then it was back to Eren again, but at least he hadn’t been lying when he said no, because no one could really call Eren nice, but that night as he’d tried to go to sleep he’d felt like his bed was too empty. His imagination ran away from him, wondering what it would be like to just have someone else to hold as he fell asleep, the distance between his arm and the mattress suddenly the largest he’d ever felt.

Jean was startled out of his reverie by Ymir, of all people, sliding into the booth next to him.

“Sup,” she nodded when he looked over at her in confusion.

“Just living the dream as always,” he said as twirled his straw in the empty milkshake glass.

“Hm,” she smirked a little at him, and tapped her fingers on the table.

“Are you here to judge me?” he finally blurted, after the silence had dragged for an unbearable length of time.

She glanced at him, startled, “What?”

“I just mean, everyone seems to hate me since that thing with Eren, and…”

“Jean,” Ymir interrupted him, “Everyone fucks up sometimes. I’m not saying you didn’t fuck up, because you really really did, but that doesn’t mean any of us care about you any less.”

“Oh,” Jean stared down at the table, “I just…”

“I know,” she reached over and patted his shoulder, “being heart broken sucks.”

“I just want to know if he’s okay? Like,” Jean sighed, “I don’t want to talk to him if that’s going to hurt him more, even though I really never meant to in the first place, and I want to explain I’m just an idiot, and-“

Ymir laughed, “Yes you are.”

“Wow, thanks,” Jean bumped shoulders with her, “I don’t want to hurt him, more, anyway, but I still like him? And want him to be okay?”

Ymir shrugged, “Yeah, caring about other people who are important to you doesn’t really go away.”

“Hmm?” Jean looked at her curiously, he didn’t know if she’d ever been this open with him before.

She smiled at him a little crookedly, “It’s not like Krista and I were smooth sailing all the way, you know. And before that I had a friend who- I didn’t like the same way he liked me. But I still loved him.”

“Oh,” Jean blinked, her and Krista had always been such a constant to him he’d managed to forget they had lives before they met each other.

“Yeah,” Ymir started tapping the table again, “But even when he cut off contact with me, I still loved him. Still do, in a way,” she turned to the diner, “But I have other things in my life, and that’s more than enough.”

“Right,” Jean put his hand out to pat her on the shoulder, only to withdraw at the last minute.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Ymir stood up and started wiping down the table is, “Right now you’re stuck waiting for his move, and that sucks, but it’s not the end of the world.”

“Feels like it,” Jean stared at the table sullenly, only blinking when she took his empty glass.

“Then go do something else,” Ymir ruffled his hair, ignoring his subsequent squawk and attempt to flatten it back down, “Go see the rest of the world that hasn’t ended.”

“I’m not-“ Jean cut himself off as she turned her back and walked away. It was probably something to think about at least, he guessed.

* * *

Eren was throwing a bouncy ball repeatedly at the wall. He figured it was okay, because it was the wall that Jean had left behind, so at least he wasn’t disturbing anyone.

Not that his little act of rebellion was making him feel less shitty. He hated this. If Jean hadn’t- no, if he hadn’t- if he hadn’t gotten drunk, he wouldn’t have run away with their cat, and if he hadn’t done that he’d at least be able to go visit Fizzles, and talk to Jean, or think about Jean, and now he was just miserable.

Miserable, and still too sick to go talk to his advisor about the kind of chaos he could deal with, because apparently drinking tequila while sick was as bad an idea as he’d originally thought it was. And Armin was totally blaming him for all of that, even though it was Levi’s fault. Hanji had at least come by to give him a high-five, but then they’d asked him about Fizzles, which just threw him back into despair, and he’d ended up puking on their shoes so maybe he shouldn’t count that as a success.

Either way his life still resolutely sucked.

He sighed, and dug through the mess on his shelves for something to entertain himself with, at least. Slaughterhouse 5 he’d finished last week, his journal was too depressing to peruse, Chaos he’d already read a hundred times and would just remind him of all the work he still wasn’t getting done, Cloud Atlas he’d puked on, everything else was under too many layers of clothing to bother digging out… He flopped in front of the television to find something to watch instead.

Eight and a half hours later he’d run out of tissues crying about some anime that was popular. It was just- the characterization- literally everyone was perfect- and he wanted to go and slaughter all the bad guys- and- Armin cleared his throat from behind him.

“Bad day?” he awkwardly pat Eren on the shoulder before going to dump his stuff in his room.

When he came back out Eren was perched on the side of the couch, his eyes bright, and hand holding out the remote, the first episode already re-queued up on the screen, “You have to watch this.”

“Eren, no,” Armin rolled his eyes, “The last time I listened to you I ended up buying the entire Song of Ice and Fire series to read and overslept three times in one week.

“Armin,” Eren wheedled, eyes wide and still shiny from tears.

“Just email your advisor and set up another meeting, geez,” Armin took the remote, only to turn the system off, and went to the phone to call for takeout.

“Fiiiine,” Eren slumped down in his seat as he pulled out his computer, but his fever had gotten noticeably lower while he’d been crying about the protagonist’s mother dying, so he was probably allowed to get back to writing again.

“Did you do anything besides cry about fictional characters all day?” Armin nudged Eren’s foot in between bites of Pad Thai.

“Wondered why Jean is such an asshole again?” Eren blew air out of his nose, “I mean, he even left without saying goodbye!”

“Right,” Armin cleared his throat and blushed a little, “About that…”

Eren bolted upright, “Armin did you keep things from me again?”

“I just didn’t want to upset you while you were recovering from being sick!” Armin put his hands protectively in front of him, a noodle flying from his fork as it gestured with him.

They both stared at where it landed on the TV before Eren cleared his throat again, ended up coughing on the snot still there from being sick, but recovered to glare pointedly at Armin.

“You were asleep,” Armin muttered into his half empty take out box, “But he did stop by right before he left.”

“And?” Eren kicked at Armin.

“And he said he was sorry and didn’t mean it,” Armin looked up at Eren through his bangs, “But Eren, I don’t even know what he didn’t mean because you won’t even tell me what happened.”

“Didn’t mean you could keep that from me,” Eren stared at him in shock.

“I didn’t want to stress you out while you were sick!”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Eren pulled his legs up to his chest and glared over them at his oldest friend, “You could have told me that at any point in the past 3 days, because other than the vomiting and runny nose I’ve been just fine!”

“Eren-“

“No!” Eren punctuated the word by stabbing his fork back into his own dish of food, “You don’t just get to keep things like this from me.”

“I’m sorry, okay,” Armin blew his hair out of his eyes again, and bit his lip, “I just didn’t want you to be hurt anymore.”

“You don’t get to decide who hurts me, Armin,” Eren sighed and took another bite of his Pad See Ew, “That’s my job.”

Armin stabbed his Pad Thai again, “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Eren moved his leg to kick at his friend again, “Sorry enough to watch that anime with me?”

Armin barked out a laugh, “You won’t get me that easy.”

Eren laughed as well, “Worth a shot?”

Armin kicked back at him, “Are you ever going to tell me what happened, at least?”

“Oh, um,” Eren twirled a noodle around his fork, “it sounds really dumb when I say it out loud.”

“Eren.”

“I mean, it’s just… You know how I ran away with Fizzles?” Eren stared at the remote still on the coffee table.

“No, Eren, I managed to forget all about that,” Armin nudged at the remote and brought Eren’s eyes back to him.

Eren snorted, “Thanks for your support,” but he smiled and continued, “Well Jean ended up finding me in an alley, and he… kissed me? And then he ran away? And I just…” he scrubbed a hand at his nose, “I just don’t know what I did wrong?”

“Oh,” Armin scrunched up his forehead, “Wow. Are you sure it’s not just a coming out of the closet thing?”

“Would it make it better if it was?” Eren stabbed at a piece of broccoli.

“No,” Armin sighed, “I guess not.”

“Yeah,” Eren said, and then sighed and ate another couple bites, “So now will you watch it with me?”

Armin laughed again, “Hell no, I saw that empty box of tissues.”

“Armin! I need your life to be ruined with mine!”

“Yeah, fat chance of that,” but he scooted over to lean against the couch with his friend, and they finished their meal shoving and laughing at each other as normal.

* * *

Jean hadn’t left his house for three days.

He’d meant to take Ymir’s advice, but then one of the NPC’s he was helping design ended up having endless bugs, and he was stuck working on that, and there wasn’t time to go anywhere for food, and Fizzles was right there to play with.

Also there wasn’t anyone to try and offer helpful advice when he finished all the ice cream in his freezer and then tripped on his treadmill.

He hadn’t intended to ignore Marco’s calls, he’d just been busy, and then his phone had died and he hadn’t bothered charging it (he’d checked it for a message from Eren an embarrassing number of times at this point, and then had accidentally found his twitter and now refreshed that an equally embarrassing number of times a day and it was just easier to not let himself sink into that pit of self-pity).

But now his best friend was standing in the doorway as he looked down at the 17 missed messages and 6 missed calls notice.

“Shit,” he looked back up into his friend, “I didn’t mean to ignore you I just-“

“Yeah, you just,” Marco crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I just!” Jean crossed his own arms before what he’d said caught up with him, “Ugh, sorry, do you want to come in?”

Marco held up a duffel bag, “Yeah, yeah I would.”

Jean stared in horror at the bag, before moving aside, and following him into the living room.

“You and Hitch didn’t-“

“Nah,” Marco laughed tiredly, “Marlow just got the chicken pox, and I’ve never had it before, so I had to get out of the house, and I tried staying with Sasha and Connie, but…”

Jean winced, “I’ll try and pick up my phone in the future.”

“Yeah, you better,” Marco observed the empty take out and ice cream containers on the coffee table, and turned back to his friend, “Jean.”

“Yeah?” Jean gulped, and tried to edge between his friend and the abandoned food containers.

Marco just put his head in his hands, “We’re going to talk in the morning.”

“Um,” Jean decided to take it, and went to go get his friend blankets before cleaning the offending mess off the coffee table.

* * *

 

When Jean woke in the morning his kitchen looked cleaner than it had since he’d moved in, and Marco was cooking him eggs.

“Good morning!” his friend’s freckles seemed like shining sparkles to Jean.

“I’m going to have to get your kid sick more often,” Jean reached towards the plate of pancakes only to have Marco slap his hand with a spatula.

“No,” he reprimanded, “And we’re still going to talk about the fact that you’re still in a pit of self-absorbed angst.”

“I-“ Jean remembered the missed calls and tired lines on his friends face, and winced, “I didn’t mean to-“

“Of course you didn’t mean to,” Marco spun the dial to turn off the stove, and turned to face his friend, leaning against a bare batch of counter, “But you did. And that isn’t like you.”

“I-“ Jean stopped, once again unsure of what he meant to say.

“You,” Marco just nodded, before getting out plates and setting the table, “Now get out the syrup.”

“Ok,” Jean shrugged and gave up, setting the condiments down on the table and sitting across from his friend, “What do you want to say to me then?”

“Eat,” Marco pointed at the pancakes, waiting until Jean had served himself and taken a couple bites, before following suit and speaking again, “Jean, you’re my best friend, and a good man, and you’ve got to stop this shit you’re pulling.”

“I’m not pulling-“ Jean remembered the take out containers, and the times he’d moped at the diner, and the increasingly worried looks his friends were giving him, and swallowed back the rest of his words, “I’ll try to stop pulling as much shit, at least.”

“Good,” Marco served himself another pancake, “because you’re not helping anyone by doing this.”

Jean just shoveled another excellent bite of pancake into his mouth.

“Jean,” Marco sighed, “I know you liked Eren, probably even still do, but if you guys are ever going to work you’re going to have to learn to deal with shit like this.”

“Who says there’s even anything to work with?” Jean mumbled at his plate of pancakes.

“Well if you’re ever going to work with anyone you’re going to have to learn how to have feelings without shouting homophobic things at them and leaving.”

“Hey!” Jean pointed his fork at Marco, “If this pancake wasn’t so good and you weren’t right I would totally be pissed at you for that!”

Marco just laughed, “Seriously dude, though, take it from an old married man. Right now it probably seems all consuming, but most of relationships really are about communication and loving each other even when you disagree.”

“I don’t-“ Jean wrinkled his nose, “You’re not even that old.”

Marco laughed again, “Oh yes, because it’s not like _you’ve_ ever called me an old married man. But really, Jean, you can’t just lock yourself away and mope for weeks whenever things don’t work out with someone.”

“Eren isn’t just someone,” Jean blushed, “I just mean, this wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t like him so much.”

Marco shrugged, “Of course it wouldn’t. But either things work with him, or you find someone else you like enough to try and work past things with, and the point is that it sucks sometimes. Sucks quite a lot. It’s not like all of my past relationships have worked out.”

“I’m telling Hitch,” Jean shoved another bite of pancake into his mouth.

“No you’re not, and what would you tell her anyway?” He snorted, “That I dated people before her?” Marco just shook his head at his friend with a smile, “But seriously.”

“I haven’t just been moping,” Jean defended himself, “I’ve also gotten quite a bit of work done.”

“I’m glad to see that you’re channelling your heartbreak into the success of a dating website.”

Jean snorted, “Yeah, the irony hasn’t gotten past me either.”

“Didn’t think for a moment it would,” Marco smiled warmly at his friend, “But seriously, are you going to be okay?”

Jean shrugged, and ran a hand through his hair, “I think so. I can at least try and use my self-restraint to restrict my refreshing of his twitter feed to once a day.”

“What self-restraint,” Marco shook his head fondly, “But seriously, come hang out with your friends again sometime soon.”

“Will they forgive me for shouting ‘no homo’ after my first experience with another guy?” Jean looked down at his hands, “I mean, I know you guys all say I’m an asshole regularly, but also that was pretty…”

“Yes it was,” Marco tossed an egg piece at Jean, “But you know it, and Ymir was probably going to be the hardest one to win back and you already seem to have managed to do that.”

Jean dodged the flying dairy, “Yeah, it was weird man, I think we talked about emotions.”

“You?” Marco mimed putting his hands over his heart, “You have emotions?”

“Oh shut up,” Jean loaded up egg on his fork before realizing he didn’t really want it splattered all over his dining room. Fizzles had already come in to eat the other bit, at least.

Marco just laughed again, “Probably not ever going to happen,” he grinned, “You’d be sad if I ever did, anyway.”

“Narcissist,” Jean reached over and stole the remaining pancake off his plate.

“Eh,” Marco just leaned back in his chair, “you love me anyway.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny,” Jean sniffed and cut up the pancake.

“So do you want to talk about the fact that you like guys now?” Marco pulled the bowl of cut fruit towards himself and started munching on an apple slice.

Jean wrinkled his nose, “Despite my outburst, it’s not really that big a deal,” he shrugged, “I mean, if I like him, I like him, and the fact that he’s a dude isn’t gonna stop me. I mean, I’m a dude and I sure like myself,” he waggled his eyebrows at Marco.

“…I don’t even know what you’re implying there,” Marco sighed and crunched another bit of apple, “but if you’re not freaking out I suppose it’s fine,” he shrugged a shoulder, “Want to get beaten at mario kart when you finish your stolen food then?”

Jean snorted around his mouthful of pancake, “Oh, you are on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating twice in one night??? Actually I do this regularly, so *shrug*.  
> The next chapter is the one that needs the most editing imo, but I've channeled at least one shitty day into this fic so hopefully it will get dealt with soon. We're approaching the end! We just have a few more things to sort out, and then it will all be over, and I'll be free (to go work on my Merlin/Princess Tutu crossover lol).  
> Also: I thought Armin was my self-insert character but holy shit I just channeled myself into Eren here. I think they're all my self-insert characters. I literally had Eren watch SNK. What was past me thinking????


	19. You Fight To Survive Because You Made It This Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the ER, interfering friends, and a minor fire? How exciting! (None of it is as exciting as I just made it sound)

Armin opened the door to the diner, the door tinkling to alert everyone he was there. Not that anyone was paying attention, seeing as it was lunch time and the place was packed. He made his way to the counter cautiously, looking in every booth, before finally sitting on a stool and coughing to get Krista’s attention. She glanced over from where she was manning the cashier register, nodding to let him know she knew he was there, and proceeded to make him wait.

Half an hour later the restaurant had finally started to clear out, and the shorter blonde made her way over to where he sat.

“Um,” Armin cleared his throat, “Jean isn’t here, right?”

Krista laughed humorlessly, “Why, are you avoiding him because of what happened with Eren?”

“What? No! Well, I guess kind of” Armin held his hands up in front of him, “Look, Eren’s my best friend, but he’s a mess right now and Mikasa moved away and my co-workers are nice and all but like… I figure if I hang out with y’all I don’t have to explain why I’m checking my phone every three minutes, but I also don’t have to pretend to not want to smack you for being an idiot?”

“Right,” Krista swallowed and then leaned closer, “Glad to see our Jean’s not the only one being stupid here. And usually I’d- ok, nah, I’m far too nosey for my own good, but Jean fucked up here and… Look, I’m asking if you want to help get these crazy kids together?”

Armin stared at her, “Oh god, I do, but like, I promised Eren I would stop interfering in his life, and…”

Krista looked back at him before a smile slowly worked its way onto her face, “Well, if you just sat here while we planned, and maybe told us when we were making erroneous assumptions about Eren, would that really count as interfering with _his_ life? Or could I convince you that then it’s only our lives and plans you’re interfering with?”

Armin chuckled, “You’re asking me to walk a fine line here, but honestly I’m desperate for company,” he tapped his fingers on the counter, “I guess it couldn’t hurt anyone to just listen to y’all talk, now could it?”

Krista smirked back at him, before calling out, “Sasha! Go tell Connie to make a strawberry milkshake and then get over here,” she glanced at where Ymir was hovering, “can you take her tables for the next bit?”

“Sure,” Ymir smiled at Krista, “just tell me if you need me to beat anyone up.”

Armin laughed, before realizing no one else was and stopping, “Right.”

Sasha came zipping back a couple minutes later with a strawberry milkshake, and handed it to Armin, “Ooh, Armin! What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to-“ he was cut off by Krista making a zipping motion before turning back to finish checking out a couple more customers, and then coming over to where they were sat.

“Armin’s here to listen as we reinstate Operation Nested Eagle, though we might want to rethink the title considering changed circumstances.”

“Operation Yes Homo?” Sasha offered.

“I’ll drink to that,” Armin slurped up some of his milkshake.

“Well, Armin,” Sasha slung her arm around his shoulders, “If you’re here because you have no respect for your friend’s ability to manage his own love life, you’re in good company. And if Eren’s being half as pathetic as Jean is about this, you definitely deserve that milkshake on the house,” she nodded at the cup in front of him.

“No, I couldn’t possibly, I mean, I’ve been planning to try your food anyway, and,” Armin almost choked on the sip of milkshake he’d been taking and Sasha had to hit him on the back until he was breathing normally again.

“No,” Krista looked between him and the shake, “If you’re letting me corrupt you into interfering anyway, you get a free milkshake, plus,” she bared her teeth at him, “it’s my diner and I’m running the cash register so idk what you’ll do if I refuse to take your money.” Armin took out a $10 bill and stuffed it in the tip jar, causing her to laugh, “Alright, smart guy, want to hear our plans?”

Sasha bared her teeth, “Oh, I’ve got plans.”

“Sasha, the last time we enacted one of your plans we all lost the right to visit any IHOP in the country.”

“Their pancakes are kinda shit anyway,” Sasha shrugged, “but whatever. Let’s start with information gathering,” she turned to Armin, “how’s Eren doing.”

Armin scrubbed his face, “He finally got over his cold only to decide that subsisting on a diet of ice cream was his best option, plus,” he wrinkled his nose, “he won’t stop blasting Taylor Swift. Jean?”

Sasha whistled, “He’s finally leaving his house after Marco went and chewed him out, but still moping. Attempts to convince him they weren’t even dating and Eren’s just one guy have proven unsuccessful. No offense,” she hastened to pat his shoulder.

“None taken,” Armin sighed, “I’ve tried the same speech on Eren and he’s the same way. Figure they probably deserve each other at this rate.”

Krista laughed, “I’m going to go keep my business running, but if you guys think of any plausible plans I expect to be alerted immediately.”

“Alright,” Sasha gave her a fist bump before letting her get back to work, “okay, Armkles, what are Eren’s weaknesses?”

“Armkles?” Armin stared at Sasha for a minute, but when she didn’t back down shrugged, “Apparently shitty pop music.”

“No, I mean, does he have a regular schedule we can manage to con Jean into interrupting? Are there specific gifts we can convince Jean to send him?” she snapped her fingers, “He left an apology with you, right? How’s Eren responded to that?”

“Um,” Armin paused to think about it, “He’s mainly either at the university or our apartment, and he keeps such eclectic hours at this point I don’t think we could engineer a meet up,” he shrugged, “he probably wouldn’t notice gifts, considering one time we all made it a week past Christmas before we remembered to open up our presents,” he grinned at the memory, before sobering up again, “And he hasn’t said anything since I mentioned the apology. I think that’s probably my fault, though.”

“Oh?” Sasha poked him when he hesitated in elaborating further.

“Well, I sorta waited until he wasn’t sick to tell him, so he was mad I was keeping secrets,” he shrugged sheepishly, “So I haven’t really brought it up since and he hasn’t either.”

“Ooh,” Sasha winced, “Yeah, we shouldn’t take any paths that endanger their friendships with us. Well,” she shrugged, “Other than the inevitable anger because we’re trying to interfere with their lives, but until they pull their own shit together I refuse to feel too guilty.”

Armin just hummed, “I just don’t know what else to do at this point,” he sighed, “can’t we just shove them in a room until they work out their issues?”

“Yeah,” Sasha grinned, “the problem is just figuring out how to get them into that room.”

They put their heads together, and two hours later Armin had eaten more fries than he knew existed, and they’d almost completed a plan.

* * *

Jean had left the house every day since Marco had come to see him (getting the mail totally counted, shut up Connie), and he was actually feeling better for it. Plus, he was totally keeping his promise that he’d only creep on Eren’s twitter once a day, well, besides a couple of other checks to see if he actually _had_ read it that day. But he was definitely being cool about his not-actually-a-break-up, even though he still didn’t know how to get rid of the nagging worry he had ruined a chance at happiness, and that he was getting old and would only be an eligible bachelor for so long, and everyone else was in a happy relationship, and-

And he was totally being cool about it, which is why he was now going to reward himself after his tiring hour of playing with Fizzles (he’d gotten so big and Jean was only moping about Eren because he was sad he hadn’t gotten to see their cat grow up. Right, that was it) with a check of Eren’s twitter.

Which he probably hadn’t already done that day.

At the very least, the last time he checked there hadn’t been a tweet that said, “on my way to emergency care :/ #mondaynofunday” with a post stamp of five minutes ago, Jean reflected, as he pulled on his sneakers, not even bothering to tie the laces, and grabbed his keys from where they were sat.

“Sorry, Fizzles,” Jean picked up the cat to rub his head one more time, “I know I promised you I’d let Eren contact me first, but oh my god what if he’s hurt, and you don’t want that either, do you?” he looked into the cat’s blinking eyes, “Of course you don’t. Even if Eren ran away with you you still love and miss him, so I’m just going to go check up on him for you. Right,” he put Fizzles down, “totally for you.”

He almost walked into the door before managing to get it open and running down to where his bicycle sat alone in the garage. Shit, this was going to take forever for him to get to the hospital on.

Cursing, he went back out and sat down on his steps, and pulled out his phone, stabbing at it until it made the correct ringing noise, “Pick up pick up pick up,” he chanted until a clicking on the other side of the line told him he was connected.

“Jean?” the voice on the other end spoke.

“Marco!” Jean almost threw his hands in the air in relief before remembering his phone was in one of them, “Are you busy?”

“Kinda, but I was about to take a break,” the sound of something being put down could be heard, “Is anything up?”

“Can you take me to emergency care?”

Something clanged in the background, “What?!”

“Oh, fuck, right,” Jean ran a hand through his hair, cursing at the way it stuck in the gel he’d put in earlier, “I should clarify it’s not for me. I just- apparently Eren is there? And I just…”

“Jean,” Marco could be heard sighing, “Is this a good idea?”

“What if he’s dying, Marco?” Jean wiped a tear away with the palm of his hand, “What if he’s seriously injured and I never get to tell him I’m sorry and I- Fizzles loves him?”

“Alright,” Marco could be heard shouting to someone in the background, before his voice returned to the speaker on the phone, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thanks,” Jean managed to get out around the lump in his throat before hanging up, and returning to his house to grab a handkerchief.

He pulled out his phone again to try and refresh the twitter feed, but his hands were shaking too much, and a couple of tears had managed to find their way onto the touch screen which was making it act up.

Too many thoughts were running through his head, _I shouldn’t have run away… I lied to Marco, it’s not Fizzles who loves Eren, but I should probably tell him first, huh… What will I tell Fizzles if his other dad dies? Oh god I adopted a kid with Eren before I realized I was in love with him what was I thinking?… Who’s going to fix math now if Eren’s gone? Who’s going to fix **me** now if Eren’s gone?_

The sound of Marco’s truck pulling into his driveway was a welcome relief, and Jean hopped into the cabin as quickly as he could, “Sorry, thank you, thank you.”

Marco just shrugged, “Hey, you’re still letting me stay at your place, right? Seemed the least I could do.”

Jean just smiled shakily, “It’s not like we can really owe each other favors at this point in our friendship anyway, but still.”

Marco took his hand off the stick shift to pat Jean’s shoulder, “It’s going to be fine, dude, relax.”

“Sure,” Jean sunk down in his seat and stared out the window, reaching over only to turn up the radio. Katy Perry understood his feelings, at least.

He managed to get out his phone again, and pulled up his email, alerting his client to the fact there’d been an emergency and he would have to skype with them tomorrow instead.

That taken care of, Jean just stared out the window until Marco pulled into the parking lot of the emergency care on their side of town, “I’m going to have to get back to work,” he rolled down his window to tell Jean, “but call me if  you get any updates, okay?”

Jean just nodded, heading into the waiting room, trying to remember how to breathe.

* * *

Eren wasn’t sure if this made the list for top 10 most embarrassing moments of his life or not. Considering that he’d spent the past week moping that a guy he’d met through accidental stalking had run away from their first kiss while shouting the mantra of dumb straight frat boys everywhere, it probably hadn’t.

Still, it wasn’t every day that someone had to go to the ER because they’d sliced half their finger pad off trying to cut a bagel with a butter knife. Despite the doctor’s assurances that it was surprisingly common, which hadn’t really made him feel that much better. He didn’t know if Armin was ever going to stop laughing about the fact that he’d made him wake up in order to drive him to emergency care because he couldn’t _slice a bagel._

Speaking of Armin, Eren had finally finished all his paperwork and he thought Armin should be sitting somewhere in the waiting room, and Eren didn’t see him there. But he did see… Jean?

Their eyes met from across the room, and everything else seemed to fade out. Eren wasn’t sure if he remembered how to breathe, and suddenly his chest was hurting far more than his finger. Looked like he was going to have far more opportunity to embarrass himself in one day than normal then.

He was saved from having to wonder whether or not he was supposed to go over there and ask if Jean was alright by the man in question marching over to him instead.

“Jean,” he nodded stiffly when he’d come to a stop two feet away.

“Eren,” Jean breathed out, before looking him over up and down, “Are you okay? Why did they let you out? Oh god, was someone else hurt?” his brow wrinkled up, and Eren had to quash the thought of how cute that looked. He’d had his chance for those thoughts, and it was now weeks later and he should be okay.

“Oh, um,” Eren blushed at how squeaky his voice came out before coughing and trying again, “No, I’m the reason I’m here,” he held up his finger with it’s little metal covering, “managed to cut myself with a butter knife,” he laughed, the noise sounding awkward even to his own ears.

“Oh,” Jean was now the one blushing, “I just, saw that you were going to the emergency room, and assumed the worst, so um…”

Eren grabbed Jean’s sleeve before the other man could try and finish that exit, “How did you even find out I was coming here? Are you spying on me?” he meant the words to come out joking, but they sounded almost hopeful.

“I, ah,” Jean was definitely blushing now, and fidgeting in his hoodie, though he hadn’t yet tried to detach from Eren’s grip, “I might have been on your twitter account.”

“Oh,” Eren wrinkled his forehead and released Jean’s sleeve to pull out his phone, trying to ignore how cold his hand now felt, “Did you not see my follow up tweets?” he pulled up the app and turned it around to face Jean.

“yeah apparently its possible to bleed gallons from the damage of a butter knife #thisisevenworsethanwhenisteppedonmysistersdollskate”

“wait until you have to ask your best friend for a ride to the er for that one kids #andthenyoullknowwhatitsliketobeme”

Jean was now a definite shade of red, but he jutted his chin out before replying to Eren, “Sorry for worrying about you then, I guess.”

Eren’s mouth fell open, “I didn’t ask you to come, Jean.”

“Well, why didn’t you think about Fizzles, Eren?” Jean stepped closer to Eren, raising his voice, only for a nurse to clear her throat from a couple feet away.

“Can you gentlemen take this outside if you don’t need anything?” she stared at them over her glasses, and they both stammered their replies before fleeing.

Outside of the small, crowded and bustling room, Eren found himself at a loss of what to say, and settled for wrapping his arms around his body instead, wincing when his finger got pressed too firmly into his side.

“Thanks for coming, I guess,” he copied Jean’s tone from earlier, scuffing the toe of his shoe on the sidewalk.

“It’s not like I had any other way to know if you were okay,” Jean stepped closer to Eren again before taking another step back, “since someone hasn’t talked to me in two weeks.”

“You-“ Eren’s mouth was hanging open again, his arm flapping in the direction of Jean, “You are unbelievable!”

“I’m unbelievable?” Jean spluttered, “I’m not the one who ran away with our cat.”

“Actually you are,” Eren’s shouted, trying to stomp off only to become light headed and have to catch himself against the wall of the building, but he just spun around, and stalked back towards Jean, “You did in fact run away with our cat, without even a second look back, and then you moved away, Jean. You moved away without a word. Oh, except you talked to Armin, and that was supposed to make everything okay?”

Jean opened his mouth to respond, but Eren covered it with his hand, and stepped closer, eyes blazing, “You don’t get to act like the wronged one here, Jean. Yes, I was wrong first, but I at least had the courage to face you when I said sorry.”

Jean snorted, “It’s not like you had a choice because I followed you when you ran.”

“Oh, so I was supposed to follow you, then?” Eren laughed humorlessly, “Wow, I thought rejection was supposed to mean back off, I didn’t get the memo that you can’t communicate for shit.”

“Like you’re oh so much better?” Jean shot back, “all you can do is give little impassioned speeches, but you can’t leave your own head enough to let anyone else in.”

“Are you calling me selfish?” Eren was now standing closer to Jean than he had since that night, but all he could see was red, and he was feeling a shortness of breath, “You’re the most self-entitled prat I’ve ever met!”

“Prat?” Jean looked down at where Eren was pressed against his chest, “you’re calling me a prat?”

“Yes,” Eren glared right back up at him, “Yes I am.”

They stood in tense silence for another minute before Jean snorted out a laugh, and Eren’s own face began to crack as his lips tried to pull themselves up, “Can I…” Jean drew in another breath, Eren able to feel the rattling in his lungs from this close, “Can I maybe kiss you again?”

“Depends,” Eren finally grinned up at him, “Are you going to run away this time?”

Jean pulled Eren into his arms, “Asshole.”

“Idiot,” Eren breathed back when they came up for air.

“Ummmm,” Armin interrupted from where he was standing outside the doorway of the clinic.

“Right!” Eren said, jumping away from Jean, “Armin! You drove me here!”

“Armin,” Jean tried to fix his rumpled clothing, unsure of what to do with his hands before settling on holding one out for a handshake, “Good to see you again.”

Armin looked down at Jean’s hand, “You as well, I’m sure. But I have a policy for not touching things that have touched Eren’s butt, so…” he gestured at the offered civility and Jean just let it drop.

“Wow, not sure how you’re going to get back in your car. Or ever sit on your couch again, or…” Eren shut up at Armin’s glare, “I mean, can you give me a ride home? Or…” he looked over at Jean, “How did you get here?”

“Marco,” Jean said, glancing at the parking lot, “But then he left, so…”

Armin just stared at the both of them, “Yeah, I’m just going to leave now. I sort of have to get back to work anyway, so have fun taking the bus, Eren.”

“Hey!” Eren called after him, only to sigh, and turn back to Jean, “I hate all my friends.”

“Me too,” Jean replied, looking at where Armin was walking off, “But hey, you never got to see my new house, did you?”

Eren grinned slowly, “No, no I didn’t.”

* * *

 

Marco was distracted as he was baking his pies. This wasn’t entirely uncommon, it was a fairly repetitive process, and he was usually listening to his audiobook. But now his concerns were of a different sort. Had he done the right thing taking Jean to see Eren?

On the one hand, his friend really did need resolution of some sort. As it was he was just moping, and sure, he had started taking steps towards moving on, but at the glacial pace he was proceeding it was going to take a long time until things had returned at all to normal. Geez, he hadn’t seen Jean in this bad a state since they’d cancelled Firefly.

Marco just… he hated to see his friend upset, but he wasn’t sure what the ideal solution was here. After his actions today, it could probably go about two ways. Or, three if Jean’s overdramatics turned out to be based anywhere near reality.

In that reality, Eren really would be in mortal peril, Jean would hold his hand while he died and cry, and he would be heartbroken but eventually would learn to move on while incorporating it into his tragic backstory.

The two more likely scenarios were that Jean would go and confess to Eren, Eren would tell him that what he’d done was unforgivable, and Marco would be left to pick up the pieces. Or, Eren would accept him in a dramatic and sweeping moment with fireworks and orchestral movements and then Jean would be happy.

Until the next time they had a fight, whereupon Marco would have to deal with Jean’s dramatics again, and this whole situation would be back where it currently was.

Marco wiped a floury hand across his brow, sighing. He supposed they could also end up killing each other, which would make things simpler, but then Marco would be in an even worse position, with his best friend dead. Or Jean could get over his feelings, but that seemed unlikely given how stubborn he was being about it all so far. And the fact that he still refused to throw away his teddy bear from when he was a kid, and just hid it under the bed every time Marco came over.

The beeping off the fire alarm brought him out of his reverie, and he went over to the oven, opening it up to a plume of smoke and the charred remains of a pie.

Today was not his day. Sighing, Marco went to go call in a replacement for the day, and avoided putting the pie he’d just finished preparing anywhere near heat. He also double checked he’d used sugar instead of salt.

When Mike finally arrived, glancing over at the oven before giving Marco a disapproving look, Marco just grinned sheepishly, “Sorry,” he said, “I know you were supposed to have today off, but there’s only a few pies left to make and I’ll pay overtime for it.”

Mike just smiled vaguely, “Well, I wouldn’t want to leave you loose in this kitchen right now anyway. The register is covered?”

Marco just nodded his assent before handing over the apron, grabbing his keys and deciding to go sit and wait at Jean’s house. He still wasn’t allowed back home, at any rate. He drove home wondering what he would even say to Jean when he got there. Ah well, at the very least he could do damage control.

He let himself in before promptly wishing he had a machine to erase his memory.

“Oh god,” he covered his eyes and made sure the door shut behind him, “I never wanted to see that.”

“Marco!” Marco didn’t know what Jean was doing now, because he was still avoiding looking, but it was hopefully putting distance between himself and Eren, “You’re back early?”

“Hi Marco,” Eren’s voice came from the same direction, “I promise we’re still clothed.”

“Yes, well,” Marco peeked through his fingers, “I’ll just be leaving either way.”

“Right,” Jean cleared his throat, and then glanced over at where Eren was sitting with his own head buried in his hands before shooting Marco both thumbs up and a happy grin.

Marco just rolled his eyes before leaving, looked like it was out of his control either way now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the end of our fine tale (other than the epilogue, which will probably be up soon because I seem to be on a mission to finish this tonight. And then there are a couple of weird extras I'll also upload probably bc I wrote them so why not).  
> This chapter is, of course, dedicated to Millie, for slicing off her finger pad with a butter knife and also supporting me all the way through this <3


	20. Epilogue: Back to the Skating Rink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just really love putting them all in roller skates.

The skating rink still appeared to have been displaced from the 90s. The garishly clashing walls were still covered with neon lettering, the disco ball still hung in the middle, and the carpeting still seemed to be older than most of the kids rolling around on it.

It was maybe younger than the large group now gathered at a couple of the tables, however.

“Mikasa,” a dark haired woman stuck her hand out to have it shaken by most of the rest of the group, after being mobbed in a hug by Eren and Armin.

“I’m Annie,” a bemused blonde woman spoke from next to her, “and our other friends should be here in a minute.”

“Other friends?” Eren pulled back from the hug to look at her quizzically.

Armin just rolled her eyes, “Wow, Eren. Also,” he turned back to the rest of the group, “Brunette one is Sasha,” a wave, “Short bald one is Connie,” a wink and a snappy hand gun, “the one who might be my long lost twin sister is Krista,” a snort and a wave, “And the tall scary one is Ymir,” an eye roll, “The tall not-scary one is Marco,” a hand held out for a shake, “And you already know the other idiot.”

“Hey!” a smack upside the head from Jean, that Armin managed to dodge, laughing.

“Wait, who else is coming?” Eren interrupted the conversation, ignoring Jean’s attempts to put Armin in a strangle hold.

Armin broke Jean’s grip and shoved him back at Eren before responding, “Um, Reiner and Bertholdt?” at Eren’s dawning look of horror he laughed, “Oh my god, did you forget about them? Jesus, Eren, who did you think I hung out with while you were having teen angst drama?”

Eren just opened his mouth and closed it a couple times before shaking it off, and grabbing Jean’s arm, “I was distracted! But I didn’t forget them! I just thought they’d moved.”

Armin was still laughing when the two men in question rolled over to the group, looking quizzical, but introductions managed to be had at any rate.

Eventually everyone managed to split up and make it onto the rink itself, the teens working there looking relieved that the aisles of the dining area were no longer blocked. That was, until Reiner and Annie went to go acquire cotton candy, cutting themselves out to be rather imposing figures. And Sasha went over to badger them into playing Barbie Girl again, Connie at her side, trying to glare them into submission.

Armin just rolled his eyes at the large group’s antics and pulled out a book, settling into the table closest to the rink. Eren skidded to a stop on the other side of the wall, having to move for the small children trying to get past by holding onto the wall, “You’re not skating today?” he asked.

“Nah,” Armin looked over at him and smiled, “I’m good over here.”

“Cool,” Eren was slammed into the wall by Jean’s appearing behind him, “Wow, ouch dude.”

“Hey,” Jean drawled in his ear, “I’ve got a problem.”

“Oh yeah?” Eren turned around in his arms and stuck his tongue out, “Is it that you’re a loser?”

“Nope,” Jean grinned cockily, “It’s that I can’t stand my current boyfriend?”

“Oh?” Eren batted his eyelashes, “And what does that have to do with me?”

“I was wondering if I could do a u-substitution?”

Eren started howling with laughter as Armin glared at them over his book, “Can’t you two get a room?”

“We already have one,” Eren managed to gasp out between breaths, “and stop saying that like you don’t miss us all the time.”

“Considering the fact that you’re still in my apartment half the time, I really don’t,” Armin rolled his eyes, “I thought the point of you moving out was to actually leave?”

Eren just rolled his eyes right back before grabbing Jean’s arm and skating off again, attempting to do so backwards only to fall over laughing as Jean tripped right over him.

“How are they really?” Mikasa sat down at the table next to Armin, “I would ask Eren but he keeps giving me too much detail.”

Armin laughed, “I think they’re doing good,” he nodded at where the rest of their group was trying to make it across the rink, only to be stopped and told that only 3 people can make a chain at a time, “the whole drama actually widened our friend circle, and everyone is still being nice even after knowing Eren for this long.”

Mikasa just frowned, “Does Eren really need people being _nice_ to him?”

“Bad word choice then,” Armin thought about it for a second, “Well, the in joke at least is that half the time we’re all worried they’re going to kill each other, and the other half we’re hoping for it.”

Mikasa frowned a little more before her brow unwrinkled and she laughed, “Seems like I left you two in good hands then.”

“Yeah,” Armin smiled up at her, and then grinned delightedly as Reiner and Annie came back with the cotton candy, “Hey, where’d Bert get to?”

Reiner shrugged, “Probably hit his head on one of the beams and fell over,” he snorted at his own joke, “Oh, nah, he’s over there. Looks like he’s making friends with… Ymir? That’s the tall girl, right?”

Armin just nodded his assent before going back to his book, content to munch on cotton candy and let his friends’ conversation wash over him.

Annie nudged Mikasa with her shoulder, “Hey, doesn’t this remind you of Reno?”

Mikasa frowned, “How so?”

Annie just grinned at Mikasa until she blushed, “Just the lighting, of course,” she said, smiling innocently when Reiner sent her an odd look.

“Sure,” he rolled his eyes, “I’m going to go catch up with Reiner now, since you two are avoiding all my attempts to ask about your life.”

“Sorry,” Mikasa smiled at him, “It’s just classified.”

“Suure,” he rolled his eyes.

Annie just laughed as Mikasa fidgeted with her scarf.

Reiner skated over to where Krista was trying to convince Ymir and Bert to launch her ahead of themselves.

“C’mon,” she urged as Reiner slowed down as he caught up with them, “You guys are tall enough!”

Ymir just shook her head, “I’m not getting kicked out of any more establishments in this city.”

“Aw,” Krista pouted up at her.

“What’s going on?” Reiner asked, snagging Bert’s arm to make sure he kept up with them.

“Um,” Bert just looked at where the two women were trying to outstare each other, “I’m just as lost as you are, honestly.”

“Ah,” Reiner nodded seriously, “Well, perhaps I can be off assistance?”

“What?” Krista breaks her staring contest with Ymir to look over at him.

“I believe I was offering to lasso you around the rink,” Reiner’s cheeks became a little flushed, “If I didn’t misunderstand what you were asking.”

Ymir just stared at Reiner, “If she ends up hurt you’re going to the hospital with her. And not in the nice way.”

“Right,” Reiner gulped before offering his hand to Krista, who laughed delightedly as she took it.

“She’ll be fine,” Bert offered to Ymir, after they’d skated in silence for too long.

“Oh, I know,” Ymir smiled toothily at him, “Krista can take care of herself.”

“Then… then why did you threaten Reiner?”

“Well,” her grin remained intact, “He made an excellent horrified face.”

Bert just laughed, torn between relief and fear.

Jean and Eren had begun chasing each other around the rink, managing to avoid the small children in their way surprisingly well. Sasha and Connie seemed to be trying to see how long they could skate backwards without anyone noticing, and Ymir and Krista were engaging in a conversation about… something with Bert and Reiner. Barbie Girl started playing over the speakers, the light was glinting off of the disco ball, and everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LOVING THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO STUCK WITH THIS STORY. Seriously, you are all amazing and I thank you for bearing this one out with me. I just... I'm feeling much more emotional than expected at the end of this story, considering it's been complete for over a year and I just had to edit things. But like, thank you all, so very much. May you skate happily on forever :)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh goodness, um, I honestly just want to thank literally everyone who encouraged me in the making of this fic. Camille for reading this and telling me it was good, Anaahat for doing the same thing in the beginning, my parents for reminding me to work on my fanfic even though I'm never going to let them read it, a bunch of other people I'll thank as the story progresses to the point where it won't have any spoilers.


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